AIBU to throttle DD???!!

Pain and misery with bad teeth... I think pain and misery witnessing a batshit crazy mother is worse.

Poor little thing crying herself to sleep. Never go to bed on an argument. I've had mine sobbing into their pillows before and regardless of what they've done I go in give them a hug tell them I love them and that's it forgotten. My youngest is 6, she's been eating away at her eggs constantly all day, I told her a few times to go easy etc but it's Easter, she's excited, she's never had so much chocolate in one go. Who cares.

I think you seem quite cruel and lacking in compassion. I think you should have counselling for your dd's sake, but it seems that you refuse to believe there is anything wrong. Poor kid.

Her baby teeth will thank you but apart from building lovely tooth fairy castles they will have fuck all to do with her adult teeth.

Happy Easter

But matchpoint, if all children lie to get out of trouble, why should yours need to be different? Why is it not ok for your child to do something that you say all children do?

My DD has been through years of painful orthodontic work by the way. A congenital condition. Nothing to do with easter eggs when she had her first teeth. I always thought that my role was not to fuss and judge and criticise and tell her 'where she got it from' but to arrange the treatment and hold her hand throughout it till we came out the other side.

She

Is

Only

4

All children lie.
My DS is furious because I can tell when he lies (I have always been able to lie)
It's little things.
"Have you brought your coat home"
"Yes"
"Have you"
"Yes"
"You haven't"
"OK""

It's done sometimes before they think.
I tell him (apart from the fact I CAN tell, he needs a damned good memory to be a liar- which he doesn't have"

DD on the other hand never lies.
It's gone from
"Did you hit your brother"
"Yes I did"

To "What do you think of this dress"
"It doesn't look good on you"
She's 11 yo.
Brutal.

Right - you asked for our thoughts and you got em. Listen to your DH.

Her memories of this Easter will be you shouting and her crying herself to sleep. Nice one OP. Lets focus on hoe shit British teeth are because that appears to be what concerns you the most.

What worries me is that i am far from perfect, i can shout with the best of them BUT she is a baby, she's 4, not 14. I really worry about how the hell you are going to react to minor issues with her when she's 10 and 11 and really pushing your buttons.

"I'll take my chances with low self-esteem and bulimia."

Nice. Real nice.

You know that low self-esteem tends to lead to binge eating, and bulimia to tooth loss, right?

" I'll take my chances with low self-esteem and bulimia" Vile

OP you are still justifying your actions.

I really, really hope you are joking about bulimia. It is a horrendous disease (which, by the way, often ruins a sufferer's teeth). What would you have felt like if your mother would have treated you the way you have treated your daughter?

She shouldn't have taken the eggs or lied, you shouldn't have left the eggs in sight/reach or gone batshit and sent her to bed crying.

In her defence though, she is four. You are an adult.

Rationing sweets is the worst thing you can do i didnt have a coa cola or twix until i was 13 and started going to sweet shops and spending all my pocket money on everything i wasnt allowed, i ended up with 2 fillings 2 years later. Everything in moderation, and make sure they brush there teeth! And to be honest i think a creme egg is worse for her teeth than half an egg would have been

A better 'punishment' for want of a better word would have been to ask/tell your DD to clear up the chocolate fragments with a brushpan and shovel to let her be aware that all actions have consequences.
"Five minutes of tardiness on your side should not have to result in 30 minutes of work on my side"

Then a cuddle, teeth brushed and bed.

how you'd feel if, say, your husband confiscated a box of chocolates from you, condescended to let you eat one, then put them on a shelf where you could see them but told you not to eat them as he was going to decide when you could have another, and then eat the rest himself??

??? Really? You know that the rules are different for adults, right?

Oh dear.

Your little 4 year old had temptation put right there in her way, made a perfectly natural choice to help herself, and was too frightened of her scary batshit crazy mum to own up.

For goodness sake, give her a break. In the morning, give her a big cuddle, and forget about any more "punishment" (torture more like).

Listen to your DH.

And get some help, it sounds like you need it.

My DS is 4. He's spent all day eating chocolate, hasn't eaten any dinner and has tried to steal his siblings eggs. And I couldn't care less. It's Easter! One day of the year. He's not like this the rest of the time. And in terms of teeth, it might be better to have one day of gluttony than chocolate every day for the next month(s)

FFS
Really? God help you.

I think you over reacted and I have a just turned 5 year old who has eaten what she considers a mountain of chocolate but in truth a cadburys bar today.

I would feel very guilty if she had cried herself to sleep instead if a nice cuddly bedtime story.

Okay, I'll take on board that your 4yo took five eggs , two of which she knew did not belong to her. Are you sure she knew they weren't hers? If they were all in the cupboard or wherever?

But what I noted about your post was that you were planning to dish them out (fine) or eat them yourself.
So in effect you are going to steal your child's eggs.

The thing that you've been lambasting her about . But I don't suppose you'll leave a mess , so that's okay, huh?

When my DS was about 7 he managed to pinch some After Eights from the top cupboard (very athletic child)

I knew he had taken them. I hadn't. DH doesn't eat chocolate. DD was too little.
He denied it.
I found wrappers in his room that he didn't hide.
I told him I was more cross about the lying than the stealing.

He has never repeated it. He knew I was disapointed in him.
I can leave sweets and cakes, he'll ask but he knows what he's allowed.He doesn't steal.

It's Easter Sunday. The build up to today. The chocolate on display for weeks.
One scabby cremeegg.

It does seem twisted to be mad at her for 'stealing' eggs, when you have stolen hers. Imagine how you'd feel if, say, your husband confiscated a box of chocolates from you, condescended to let you eat one, then put them on a shelf where you could see them but told you not to eat them as he was going to decide when you could have another, and then eat the rest himself?? I totally understand where your DD is coming from!

If you want to protect her teeth next year, why not tell people in advance that you don't want DCs to have sugar so people can buy them something else instead if they want to? DS has some chocolate, but also tshirts, stickers, little toys and magazines which he loves. I'm happy, he's happy, rellies happy too.

"Erosion of tooth enamel is far far easier to fix than erosion of self esteem, self image and self confidence. "

^^ that