To be a traditional sahm ??

Sugarandspiced

I was responding to your use of 'help'

I talk to my dc about loads of things. We discuss books and art and sport and history and politics.
That's just parenting and family stuff. That's not helping with homework IMO.

If you meant 'being degree educated means I am a more informed parent and companion to my children' then I agree with you.
But I don't think being degree educated makes you better able to assist a teenager with their homework unless you are doing it for them.

I was amazed at the comment about public sector workers in their fifties being past it.

Bonsoir- assuming that you are a SAHM living in France, I'm not convinced that you are the right person to comments on whether or not 50 something public sector workers in the UK are 'useless' or not.

I don't know the answer to that one, and I find it odd that governments suggest raising the retirement age when I see just how useless some of the people in public sector jobs (from which they cannot be fired or early retired) are by their mid-50s - in private sector jobs those people are already out.

And if people are at the end of their careers by 50 how can the retirement age be raised to 68. It doesn't make sense.

HannahsSister40 - if you would read the thread properly, and my posts properly, I have said again and again that if people want to be SAHPs, more power to them. What is worrying me, and many other posters, is the OP's very narrow range of interests (her home and family) and the vulnerable position she and her children (and even her DH, if he should be made redundant/become ill). You sound very defensive.

I would express similar concerns about a narrow world view to anyone who defined their entire life in terms of being, say, an accountant. Who lived and breathed accounting to the exclusion of all else and let life pass them by. The difference in this case is that the accountant at least has an independent income and a pension.

DP and the DSSs talk about maths and physics all the time - late into the night. And DD was bouncing on our bed at half past midnight the other night saying "Encore, encore de la conjugaison" as DP and I bleary-eyed invented sentences for her to spell out the words...

"They get into their late forties early fifites and see people with busy fulfilling careers whilst they are at the bottom of the pile."

Hmm. I see a lot of people at the end of their careers by 50, looking round for something to do after 25 years doing the same thing every day in which they are no longer wanted. It's not that straightforward.

I wasn't 'helped' past senior school age Pagwatch and it didn't do me any harm but I was a motivated child and my parents had no knowledge of the subjects I chose at a higher level.

It does depend what you mean by help though. For example. a parent with a degree in English and a love of literature may help their DC by providing them with books, spending time discussing them and generally imparting to them their love of literature. I wouldn't see that as making them not self sufficient.

"They should be self sufficient by then, able to understand what the homework requires of them or discuss with their teacher if they don't."

One-to-one in depth conversation with an expert is the most efficient way of learning at any age. Witness Oxbridge tutorials...

to teenagers needing a taxi service over the holidays a good example of why women shouldn't work!

Once DS 1 stated at senior school (10) I pretty much backed off including making him organise himself. It as served him very well and remains one of the few things that I am determined to do with DD as she hits the same age.

I have never found it especially helpful to help teenagers with their homework.

I am not actually sure why a teenager would need help tbh

They should be self sufficient by then, able to understand what the homework requires of them or discuss with their teacher if they don't.

That's all very well hoodoo. But what about in the years to come. People's working lives are much much longer now. I have known people with good qualifications who have regretted taking a long time out of the workplace. They get into their late forties early fifites and see people with busy fulfilling careers whilst they are at the bottom of the pile. Not saying this is true for everyone but it is a point worth considering.

The OP sounds very happy with the choices she has made, good for her.
To be be happy and contented with your life is a wonderful thing to have.

It depends, to some extent, on the age of the child as to whether higher degrees are of use in teaching them.

I can't see that an English or Maths degree is of much help in teaching a child of Primary school age. All that is needed is basic literacy/ numeracy and time and effort. Perhaps if the child chooses to take the same subject as you at a higher level, it may be of use.

I think that, overall, life skills are far more important. It should be remembered that parents also teach a child by example and if a mother is terribly ambitious for her child but spends her days doing the housework/ going to the gym, one day, the child may turn around and question her about her own choices.

Hannah- I am not anti SAHM. I think that various people have pointed out that there are potential disadvantages to the OP's choices, both to her DC and to herself and her husband. In addition, some posters have commented that her life and general outlook is very insular and that, over the course of her life, she is contributing a limited amount to society. These are all valid points, even if you personally don't agree with them.

These comments are no different to what you have just said in your latest post about your DD's friends holiday childcare arrangements. These parents have made a choice to work (although, obviously, not everyone has a free choice). There are many positives to their choice- I won't spell all of them out. There are also some negatives. You feel free to point these out in your comments. I don't feel the need to conclude that you are therefore anti WOHM.

An english degree may help with your childrens homework, but mechanical engineering or pure philosophy aren't really day to day useful for 5 year olds.

Judgy judgy last post.

I agree. I have an English degree, along with good GCSE's and A levels which I've no doubt give me an advantage when I'm helping with homework, especially since my eldest two are now almost teens..
I also have many years of work behind me, which I'm aware the op does not. Despite that, I have no problem with her life choice. It's a perfectly valid one.
The choice to work is no more valid, it really isn't.
Whatever you might think.
You might argue that the op's kids are mollycoddled and overindulged, but at least she is present every day. During the Xmas school holidays, my eldest, who is 13, has phoned a couple of friends, who haven't been allowed out because their parents are both working from 8-6 and instructed them specifically to stay in, don't answer door, don't leave house.
Now, I'm not suggesting that parents ought to provide a constant string of structured activities for teens and preteens during the school holidays. But when I hear the holiday 'arrangements' for some of my dc's friends, I'm extremely grateful for my career break.
If it means I've sent my career on a wayward trajectory, so be it. It's a calculated risk. And will be worth it in the end.

"Of course a parent imparts knowledge and skills to their child; we all do that whether we are SAHP or WOHP. It isn't usually specialised knowledge to with ones degree or career though!"

How very odd. I would say that DP and I both teach our DCs vast quantities of things that are directly related to our own particular skill sets, honed during our UG and PG degrees.

Bickie - I agree completely.

Hannah - I'm not in any way "bashing" stay-at-home-mums. I did it for many years and at the time as I said I was happy. But my concern is that if life throws a curve ball and it all goes tits up for whatever reason, then the OP will be in a very difficult situation.

Even her comment about grandchildren - it's very controlling - children leave, our job as parents is to rear them, and let them go. What's going to happen when they go if you have never ever worked, have no qualifications and no identity and idea of what to do outside of mother/wife?

Hannah, please don't see it as SAHM bashing, if you read through the posts - many people are talking about their own or mother's experiences where a lack of independence and the ability to operate as an individual adult (and I am afraid in the modern world - to operate as an adult on your own on the most part means having an income - either through bringing in an income or claiming benefits/pension/insurance) has led to heartache and despair. And many of us don't want that for other women. We may be over zealous about it because of our experiences. But if I can avoid another woman ending up as my mother did - widowed at a very healthy and active 60 - but with no identity other than wife and mother - I will keep saying what a lot of us are saying. When I compared her to my Godmother who had always worked - and was widowed at a similar age - the difference in getting on with life was incomparable. One example I know - but you will find many examples on here and it is a plea to of course take a few years off if that is what works for you and your career - but please don't stop thinking about your own independence. Relying on a man no matter how loving, healthy, rich he is - in many cases (granted not all) is not a good idea. I think that is why people reacted as they have to OP. not to all SAHM in general.

Why are you posting?' she suddenly invented her 'interest' in hearing about working mothers' lives.
Very transparent.

Anyway OP - you've had a few answers to that question on here and maybe you could ask around a few people in RL if you're still interested. The majority of parents work so it shouldn't be hard to find some. I'm still not entirely sure what you hope to gain from it. There will be some variation but generally you'll find WOHP do what you do- ie run a home and raise their children but combine it with paid work. It involves being well organised and having a tight routine as the people who've given you an account of their day have shown. Oh and most people wouldn't do every little thing for their children like you do because they place more
Emphasis on imparting practical skills to their children. But other than that it's really not rocket science; its just normal life for most parents, being a mum or dad and having a job.

I agree kobayashi.
Of course a parent imparts knowledge and skills to their child; we all do that whether we are SAHP or WOHP. It isn't usually specialised knowledge to with ones degree or career though!

Honestly this ithread is ridiculous. The op started it out of boredom I reckon (which speaks volumes). She doesn't even ask the question sues claiming she asked in her OP, about innocently wishing to know about other peoples daily routines (yeah right !) The OP just reads as a self congratulatory account of her exciting life of never having had a higher education or any job, and how she loves doing every bit of housework and childcare while her dh and children never do anything domestic. When the reaction she got was 'so what?... Why are you p

(although OP never got a college education, so the point is rather moot)

I don't think I've ever really imparted any knowledge to my children that came from either of my degrees, to be fair, in my years as a sahm. You don't need a level 9 honours to read Thomas the Tank engine......