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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be a traditional sahm ??

865 replies

ProudMum4Eva · 02/01/2013 22:16

I personal have never been flamed for my choice in life, however I see many people who continuously get some sort of insult for their life choices. So here I thought I would share all for the first time.
I am 34 years old I got married at 18 straight from college. I am happily married with five wonderful children who I adore and do everything for. I have NEVER worked (outside the family home) my DH has always worked. He works traditional hours leaves about 8:10 mon-fri and is home for around 5:30. I do everything in the home cleaning, cooking, bathing the younger children, ironing and so on. I dote on my children and my husband. I love it they do not need to help me in the house I look after them and that is what I am good at.

OP posts:
Original poster
ProudMum4Eva · 02/01/2013 23:21

I have more faith in my DH than that. Although anything can happen I guess. Like I said I would have to do something.

OP posts:
Snazzynewyear · 02/01/2013 23:21

I see this has gone the way I expected. Don't bite.

Original poster
ProudMum4Eva · 02/01/2013 23:20

If I had to. I would get on with it can not do anything else really. :)

OP posts:
HoHoHoNoYouDont · 02/01/2013 23:19

This may sound harsh but what if one day that husband you dote on tells you he's found himself a new bright thing at the office and leaves you. What would you do? How would you support yourself financially?

Original poster
ProudMum4Eva · 02/01/2013 23:19

Maybe yet I intend my marriage to last forever. I do not like living the whole what if way. That can be said about anything.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 02/01/2013 23:17

What would you do if (God forbid) you split up with your Husband OP or if for any reason you had to take over the 'bread winning'?

Gay40 · 02/01/2013 23:17

You are going to have a massive shock if you ever find yourself not married, for whatever reason.

WeWilsonAMerryChristmas · 02/01/2013 23:14

I don't think calling the op a skivvy is going to be productive even though I see what you're saying

OP I think home is a beautiful thing. A place where we all pull together according to our talents and abilities. A place where everyone contributes and values each others' input both in and out of the home. That means my DS puts into the metaphorical pot, because we're teaching him that good things happen when families pull together. We role-model not just how our family works, but how his future family works too. And I'm presuming in his future family, his P will expect him to know how to cook a meal, deal with the nitty-gritty of childcare, wash clothes and floors, and just contribute.

So anyway. A bit woo but fake Baileys has been taken.

Original poster
ProudMum4Eva · 02/01/2013 23:14

HoHoHoNoYouDont

To answer as honest as I can to you work wise I would not have a clue as never had to do it. Outside the home I only really go to the gym and do the shopping. However I have great friends who I meet up with during the week.

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 02/01/2013 23:13

What I am getting at is what about you? how do you spend your down-time? Do you have time to study the stars, can you tell a mistle thrush from a song thrush by sound alone, do you devour books greedily and in one sitting?

What about YOU? You matter, you really do.

MatureUniStudent · 02/01/2013 23:11

Oh VOHM sounds sexy like va va voom.

I'd be a Stud SAHM Wink

KobayashiMaru · 02/01/2013 23:11

Did you have an AIBU at all or are you just waffling?

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 02/01/2013 23:09

Some interesting responses to your post so far OP.

Not sure if I understand your use of the word 'traditional'. I've known traditional mums, mums who like cooking, baking etc but they do it with their children and pass on their skills. That's how many women prepared for their own families, from the cooking, sewing etc skills passed down from mother to daughter. By doing it for them all the time it doesn't really do them any favours, as others have already said.

I think if your lifestyle works for you then great. Personally it makes me feel quite suffocated thinking about it.

Also, do you ever consider what you might do regarding work should your circumstances suddenly change. Do you feel you would be able to transfer your skills to the workplace. If yes then that's great too.

Do you have interests outside the home?

Fakebook · 02/01/2013 23:09

Proudmum, I feel sorry for you, because in your OP you say " I love it they do not need to help me in the house I look after them and that is what I am good at."

What about when you're ill? Or if anything happens to you and it leaves you unable to do everything? My mother was like this. Always did everything like a control freak and never let anyone do anything without nitpicking and she died at the age of 52. She wore herself out and didn't bother going to the doctor for aches that turned out to be cancer. And what did she spend her life on? Cleaning, cooking and sewing. What a waste of a life. Absolute waste.

You're still an individual, not just a mother. Seriously, get a life.

WorraLiberty · 02/01/2013 23:09

Fuck that makes me a Volunteer out of home mum

Or VOHM

That sounds far too much like Vom

I'll have to stop volunteering now Sad Grin

Gay40 · 02/01/2013 23:08

That's your choice, but I see you as a skivvy with no aspirations. It's not what I want for my DD.

Original poster
ProudMum4Eva · 02/01/2013 23:07

I do not see myself as a servant at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
ProudMum4Eva · 02/01/2013 23:07

I know it is up to me.

OP posts:
Gay40 · 02/01/2013 23:06

I wouldn't want my daughter growing up thinking this is OK. I want her to get more out of life than being a servant.

MatureUniStudent · 02/01/2013 23:06

darned finger - wanted to finish saying that I think there is a SAHM that MN hasn't covered and that you brought up in your OP. If there is the traditional SAHM, then there should be the Volunteer SAHM (volunteers outside the home) and the Student SAHM. Any other breeds of SAHM's? As I don't think SAHM accurately reflects our varied rolls.

Original poster
ProudMum4Eva · 02/01/2013 23:06

WorraLiberty

:)

OP posts:
WeWilsonAMerryChristmas · 02/01/2013 23:05

You may see yourself as a mother but you are actually acting like a maid too.

And what are your thoughts? That SAHM is good? It's completely up to you and your family - that's what feminism is. You have a choice. Not sure why you need us to validate that for you though?

LindyHemming · 02/01/2013 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MatureUniStudent · 02/01/2013 23:04

My teens would love to stay at yours, they have to wash up the dishes and sling washing in the tumble dryer. They would jump at the chance of watching another do it.

WorraLiberty · 02/01/2013 23:04

What thoughts do you have OP?

YANBU to be a SAHM if it makes you happy

I'm a SAHM just like 1000's of others and it makes me happy.