To be a traditional sahm ??

No jealousy here cockypants. That assumption makes you sound v over sensitive to be honest.

Good for you if you like being a SAHM but it isn't the right choice for everyone nor is it necessarily the best choice/ the one that produces the happiest children/ the best relationships with adult children.

amothersruin- I have to admit that I giggled at your post. You do know that working parents can provide a stable home too right?

A typical working life could be 45 years give or take. It doesn't take that long to raise a family so it is reasonable to expect a 'contribution to society' in addition to raising a family.

Um, again, read. I do thanks, but life is longer than these years with young children. Most SAHM have worked at some point, and/or will do after their children grow. At the least they might do some volunteer work, unlike OP who plans on sah long after her children are gone.
Your children are not such immense gifts to the world that you need do nothing else your entire life.

It's not about fighting, in reality, no-one cares which is why the bemusement at the OP starting this thread merely to inform us all how wonderful her life is. Very nice, but why the fuck are you telling us this?

So you dont value your own contribution to society as a sahm then kobaya?-or does only financial contribution count in your eyes?...

I'm not looking for anyone's approval thanks for asking. More than happy with my choice. Just asking for women to respect each others choices and not bitch about it. WAHMvSAHM, BFvFF, Kids v no kids....when will the infighting stop??
Women are their own worst enemies.

not sure how, since I am a contented SAHM and have been for several years. Did you actually read it?

Some of us believe that by providing a stable home life for our children that we are "contributing" to society though kobaya-and btw your posts fairly screams green eyed monster

how typical, we're not all giving a round of applause so we must be jeaous?

Be a sahm, well for you, nobody cares either way. But boasting about never having worked, never planning to, never contributing to society, it's not really something to be proud of, is it? And its not something to be jealous of, to be sure!

Fluffy - your MIL's kids don't have little to do with her because she was a sahm! And that's not the reason she didn't have much to say. There is some right daft stuff being said about sahm. I'll never regret being home for my kids and kids benefitz from having their mum/main carer at home when they are small.

Wow.
Some really bitter people/posts on this thread.
Jealous, maybe?
I'm a SAHM too,1 child.
Always have things to do, cleaning, food shopping. Now DD is at school I've gone back to college to study Spanish. Educated to degree. More than happy to 'run' the home and look after my DD. My mum was SAHM, didn't make me do chores either. I haven't turned out so badly, thanks for asking.
And I am a feminist too, kind regards henceforth....

YY to the comments about making oneself needed being a very controlling and fairly Unattractive tactic. That applies with any relationship- husband/ wife, parent/child, friendships...

People who seek validation through trying to make other people need them are actually being quite selfish, and thinking about their own needs

This is of course very different to being generous and kind spirited and seeking to help others when they have a genuine need arise. I hope I would always be ready to step up and meet a friends need if I could- but actually wanting them to need me would be really self centred. Ditto with husband and children... I would prefer they spend time with me because they want to rather than because I've created a dependency.

I think its really silly to assume/worry that if a woman hasn't worked outside the home she will have nothing to talk about

I've done both. Right now I'm at home...soon I guess I'll need to find outside work.

Either way I'm just as interesting!

If it works for you, fine.

I think you should maybe rethink the fact that you do everything in the house and are not teaching your children important life skills.

I agree with the comment about it being a little controlling.

Remember, DC do grow up one day and relationships and needs change.

I say this as the child of a mother rather like you (although she was qualified with a good career before becoming a mother).

OP - I'm glad you are happy, it's great you have the options that make your family happy and run smoothly, I just don't get your use of the word 'traditional'. It's only been traditional for the very wealthy classes until fairly recently.

Women have always worked and provided for their families since the butt crack of time. It's been historically ignored, often from the home or in the homes of others, but women have traditionally been economically active alongside their partners and the rest of the family. The staying at home being completely provided for woman is a fairly new for most groups and has no traditions in it. The idea that women working is something new/modern erases the continued efforts of women across time and space.

I would just find it soooo boring! But that's just me.

I think it's nice that OP is happy and enjoys what she does.

men don't do anything?well some maintain housewife to do even less
hoho,a aren't men silly quip.bet they can't even fluff and fold
well that doesn't do anything man maintains housewife and her no can do attitude

"I think it's quite controlling to make yourself be needed. Nothing to do with staying at home or working but to make validate yourself and control others by making them need you is strange."

I agree. But I think that it is one (I agree, bad way) that women have traditionally used in order to ensure their role is recognised. Bringing children up to be independent and managing their experiences so that they don't feel they need you (even when they still do) can be quite difficult - they feel you aren't doing anything!

the thing that makes me sad about this debate is that feminism was supposed to mean that women had equality with men,like choosing whether to stay at home or work.

Men/media/general public dont seem to care if we stay athome or work these days,its just women that seem to care,so its gone from men telling us what we cant do to other women?

LOL, ThreeTomatoes - my DSS1 said of his father once "I want to be a CEO like Daddy when I grow up - he earns a lot of money and doesn't have to do much." This was at a time when DP spent all his spare time with the DSSs, worried that their mother wasn't doing enough. He did realise he was giving them a false view of what his life entailed...

I think it's quite controlling to make yourself be needed. Nothing to do with staying at home or working but to make validate yourself and control others by making them need you is strange.

I feel sorry for your daughter in laws already.

I was a SAHM for 10 years, until my youngest went to school when I took a part time job in a school to fit around the DC. I loved it, my DS2 has SN and needed me and I never enjoyed my career.

But, my 'keeper' of a 'D' H left me for an OW after being together for 22 years. I am not minted, I still can only work P/T due to DS2's needs. Not what I had planned. If I had known exH was a dick, I might have made different choices, but I truly though he was forever.

So, it benefitted my DS2 especially, being a SAHM. It benefitted me at the time, and exH, who knew his DC were being looked after and his career would never have to take second place. Ill DC, hospital appointments, school holidays can be a juggling act for WOH parents. I would never begrudge anyone who worked because they wanted something other than being a mum in their lives, who felt more valued with a job, or who simply needed a job to have a decent standard of living, or even any standard of living. I was lucky that I could choose to be a SAHM, I thought.

It's shit, now, though.

YANBU
I'm a SAHM, I'm just a bit bad at the house wife bit, so I do get DH to Hoover and clean sometimes.

No one irons, I do washing and most cooking.

DH can cook, he did Christmas dinner.

DH can look after DCs even if I generally did when they were small.

Nothing wrong in whatever works for you.

So long as your DH does know how to look after himself and the children if you are I'll or fancy a night off.

My DDad is absolutely hopeless and now DMum isn't very mobile my DSIS ends up picking up the pieces.