To be a traditional sahm ??

heehee the ugg boots alone would have discouraged me approaching
never mind the inane conversation
but then I have bigger fish to fry than whether the pe teacher has mustache

I dunno karlos, I find biccie's post far more passive aggressive.

I admit I was very jealous of two SAHM's I spotted in local Nero after school drop off. They looked so cozy and contented with their big milky latte's and their woolly jumpers and comfy ugg boots. It was cold and raining and I could have wept I was so wanting to be them rather than facing commuters on a crowded tube and facing up to a day of difficult meetings. I went over to say hello - and was about to tell them how lucky they were - when they told me they were discussing whether or not facial hair suited the new P.E teacher. 'What did I think'?!!! Mmm could't say really. Not saying all SAHMS have fuck all to talk about ... just saying ...

mn is awash with posts from those whose dp do sweet fa chores at home as never did
consequently they then expect their own dp to skivvy about like their own mum
you're not setting good example or developing autonomous adult by doing everything

Personally, I'd hate to put myself and my family in such a vulnerable position. If something happened to your DH so that he could no longer work, you'd be screwed - all of you. Not to mention if he ran off with a younger model. Being SAHM mum is a valid choice, but never to have worked, to have no qualifications, no skills to fall back on? Very dangerous.

I also think everyone should contribute positively and practically to society outside of their families, be that in part-time paid or voluntary work like running a toddler group, being on the school board of governors, volunteering for a local charity etc. To focus all your time and energy solely on your family is selfish and teaches your children that they are the centre of the universe. Not healthy and a nightmare for their future spouses.

So I'm baffled as you why you'd start a thread like this. Are you bragging? You say you want to start conversation but don't actually say what you want to converse about.

I studiously avoided advancing that theory. Personally, I can see quite well how SAHM-ing activitiis could easily expand to fill a day. it's just not the sort of day I enjoy spending, not on a regular basis, anyway.

Because we have so much more time to kill?

I do wonder why it always seems to be SAHMs who start these kind of passive-aggressive threads. Perhaps it's because they are aware that they are not respected by parts of society for their lifestyle. I don't blame them for being fed up with this but I do wish they'd find another outlet for it, these threads are most tiresome, as are assumptions that stable home life cannot be provided by working parents etc.

I am a SAHM but not a housewife. If that's what you mean by traditional, then I am most definitely non-traditional. Not letting your children do anything around the home is really bad for them, for different reasons for either sex. At its most basic, it actually works to stop them truly being part of the family; being a family is about everyone pitching in and supporting one another, be that in trad roles like breadwinner + housewife, or otherwise, and children need to learn about that sort of reciprocity. They won't suddenly magically learn to pull their weight or not view future partners as the ones who should be responsible for domestic matters at some random point in their adult future, you know.

Above all, not doing any sort of chore is actively depriving them of some very positive things; feeling helpful and useful, being able to do things for their parents, showing their appreciation and understanding of what their parents do for them, taking pride in small achievements, and so on. There's nothing wrong with being a trad SAHM, but you're not actually being traditional if you do everything for them - in the past, when nearly all families worked along your model of domesticity, children most certainly had to pitch in, boys and girls!

God it tough being a sahm and keeping up with these threads.

everlong you can round and ' bottom' here if you like, I could pay you in cake n chocolates, sorry booze in garge

when working mum says she likes working,mn armchair psychiatrist says jealous
how so?it's wholly possible to not want to do something whilst not denying or projecting
hard as it us for some of you to believe,not everyone wants be a housewife

What works for you works for you. Personally I was a very happy sahm until my dh was unemployed and then I had to get work. I did and managed and enjoyed it.

Now I work and feel its quite good for my self esteem and love earning my own money.

BUT each to their own aye..

OK.

Permanently, I posted what grandmas etc said just to show how attitudes about working mums have changed. Not to do an oooh get me pat on the back!! I get the impression that my fellow mums thinks I'm a bit nuts to stay at home. A few have said they couldn't do it, and prefer working. I don't think I could remain sane juggling child and a job. But that's just me.

Which was exactly my point Cockypants. If you're bored of the infighting (I know I am) then why perpetuate it?

Since you are bored of the infighting that is a rhetorical question. You don't have to answer it!

Lol at the comment which tries to make a correlation between 'stable home life' and not working. Since when has having parents who worked meant that children aren't provided with stability?

And to take that to it's logical conclusion, you would expect to never have family breakdown or lack of harmony in families where one or both parents aren't working!

What utter nonsense.

I wonder where the op has gone? I also wonder why she started this thread. Boredom I reckon

Frankly I'm more bored of the in fighting.
Didn't feel patronised by the girls grandmas at all.
I'm happy with my choice, and I hope that all the other posters on here are happy with theirs, too. I haven't got anything else useful to add to the discussion, and I don't want to be drawn into daft point scoring!

Xenia will be at work :)

Cockypants But what do you think it means when the grandmothers say 'good' and 'well done'? Is it because they think you have made a more valid choice than their own daughters and DILs? Would you expect them to say "Well, what a waste of space you are!" if they didn't agree with your choice?

I too am longing for some Xenia action Kim. She needs a call button...

Unless anyone has actually said that to you (and I highly doubt it), you've just proved the oversensitive comment true.
And well done for being a sahm? I'd find that patronising personally.

Do you really get a lot of comments to that effect cocky?

I have never had anyone comment to my face about my choices- not that I would care if they did!

Over sensitive? No just sick of being regarded as an anti feminist uneducated gold digger layabout who does fuck all!!

I'm one of the few SAHM in DDs class, there are GPs, oncologists, 2 lawyers, business women etc. Their mums(ie the grandmas) have often said 'good' and 'well done' when I answer their question as to what I do for a living. Interesting how social attitudes have changed.!
I enjoyed reading your post, fluffy. Thought provoking.