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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect not to be taunted by neighbours when I run up the street

141 replies

Babieseverywhere · 28/10/2012 21:16

I'm fat and I run.

I run for my health and because I enjoy it.

I am over 13 stone and a size 16 (down from 18 stone and size 24).

I now can run continuously for 2 hours covering 8.5 miles and I am proud of this and enjoy running :)

But I get a lot of negative comments from strangers, normally from young males who wind their windows down to shout comments at me as they drive past. Luckily I am hard of hearing so I miss the actual words screamed at me but it is clear from facial expressions and tones that the comments are negative...I ignore and keep on running.

A few weeks ago, new neighbours have taken on a house which needs a lot of building work done on it and hence are frequently outside the building and their young son has taken to pointing laughing and making various remarks about running and my weight, to and at me, which I ignore as he is a young child (around 8yo) and knows no better.

Then I 'met' his father, who joined in with his son and shouted so loudly across the road that I heard him clearly, despite my deafness/hard of hearing issues. He pretended to speak in the affections of a person with special needs and screamed 'Run Forest, Run' at me.

I crossed the road and asked him not to call me names in the street. He sneered and said he was only singing as I ran past and didn't get 'my fucking problem'. When I explained that I received enough comments from strangers and expected my new neighbours to be more courteous. His wife screamed from an upper store window, that I was 'fucking over reacting' and that I should 'expect comments when I run outside'.

Should I AIBU to expect neighbours to be polite to each other, not to mock them ?

I accept strangers might be nasty but is it acceptable to be pointed at, laughed at and name called on my door step....as I am fat and I run outside.

I may be old fashioned but I operate on the 'if you can't say anything nice, say nothing' policy and would never shout at strangers on the street.

Sigh, this won't stop me running but it just makes it harder for me to get out there. Why be nasty for no reason ?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
graceinspace999 · 21/03/2025 13:33

Say ‘I love running’ and give a big happy smile every single time one of those stupid losers make a comment.

Their under resourced brains won’t be able to process it but when they realise they’re not bothering you they’ll get fed up and stop.

Enjoy yourself!!!

RunningJo · 21/03/2025 13:27

First let me say well done on your running, you are bloody brilliant, 8.5 miles is amazing!.
Unfortunately people can be dick heads, and the way they are acting says everything about them and nothing about you. I can already see the kind of person their son will turn out to be. If they aren't taking the mickey out of you, it would be someone else. Because they don't get why people would insert anything they don't do, their response is to laugh about it & make fun. Idiots.

Do NOT let them stop you, put some loud kickass music on and mutter for them for fuck off under your breath as you smile past them.
Join a local parkrun, I guarantee you will make lots of running friends, then perhaps some of them can join you - see how brave these gobby twats are then!.

Original poster
BabiesEverywhere · 21/03/2025 13:11

These things happen, to be honest considering I 'broke' during Covid times, it really made me realise how lucky I am to be able to still be here on earth, I can work full time from home, enjoy our kids, who are young people now and love and be loved by my awesome husband, who does so much for me. There are so many people worse off than our family. 😁

OP posts:
Dontlletmedownbruce · 21/03/2025 13:03

@Babieseverywhere Oh no i am so sorry to hear that. Life always throws something, doesn't it. I hate running, but at least it's my choice, it must be so frustrating for you. Good luck

Original poster
BabiesEverywhere · 21/03/2025 12:58

Dontlletmedownbruce · 18/01/2025 21:21

I'm curious what weight OP is now 12 years on. Come back @Babieseverywhere and let us know.

No more comments were made by the neighbours, they ignored me from that point on and once the building work was completed I didn't see them outside the house anymore

As for me, I continued to run and enjoy running outside for the next few years, until I developed a rare neurological condition and I now use a wheelchair outside my house and double crutches inside.

I really miss running. I am glad that I didn't quit because of those neighbours comments and enjoyed my running time, whilst I could do it.

I am still fat because I pilled on more weight due to lack of activity. But I am trying with an adaptive seated exercise bike with pedals I can strap my feet into, but it is nothing like the freedom I got from running. I find it very frustrating to do, I did three months straight of regular exercising and stopped due to getting a bad cold, I need to get going again.

So enjoy running, if you run and run a mile for me!
And if you don't think you can run, just try couch to 5K it is a miracle program 😀

OP posts:
LittleRedYarny · 18/01/2025 21:31

Sigh, this won't stop me running but it just makes it harder for me to get out there. Why be nasty for no reason ?

Why? Because you are doing something they can’t and it’s intimidating and they couldn’t muster up the courage and commitment to run up the stairs let alone go running.

I want to, along with everyone else, tell you how amazing you’re doing and keep going!

Dontlletmedownbruce · 18/01/2025 21:21

I'm curious what weight OP is now 12 years on. Come back @Babieseverywhere and let us know.

Cherrychristmas · 18/01/2025 21:16

Out of interest and on the off chance that OP might get notified about the new responses… did you carry on running OP? Did the neighbours continue to comment?

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson · 18/01/2025 21:05

I'm so sorry you've been on the receiving end of this. What utter cunts they are.

2 possible responses come to mind depending on how confrontational you want to be...

  1. wear headphones and play loud music so you can't hear them (ideally bone conduction ones which mean you should still be able to hear traffic etc, you'll hear that they're talking but not what they're saying)

  2. Get a t-shirt printed that says "I'm a fat runner. I can lose the weight, you'll always be a cunt". And if they take offence tell them they're overreacting what makes them think it's directed at them?

And if you live anywhere near me I'm happy to come for a run with you, pm me if you like

Edit: just spotted that this is 12 years old. Still, anyone who is on the receiving end of this is welcome to pm me for some company argyle they build up their confidence. And I suspect the OP is now for and feeling great whereas her neighbour is still an angry miserable cunt

FlibbertyGibbitt · 18/01/2025 21:02

🧟 thread !

KTheGrey · 18/01/2025 20:58

beancurd · 28/10/2012 21:27

You are fabulous, they are charmless turds whose limitations don't make them any less contemptible.

Quite right. Remember it’s worse to be an awful person than to have to put up with them. They never get a break from their ickiness.

LegoBingo · 18/01/2025 20:55

I now can run continuously for 2 hours covering 8.5 miles and I am proud of this and enjoy running :) that's bloody amazing. I can only dream of running for that long

Fountofwisdom · 18/01/2025 20:54

Absolute arseholes, the lot of them. Makes me furious. You are doing brilliantly, so don’t let these lowlife stop you. I am also overweight and decided to try jogging about 18 months ago. On the third time I was out, a complete stranger (male adult, obviously!) shouted across the street, “You look ridiculous.” I was absolutely mortified, jogged home, burst into tears and never went out jogging again. I have joined a gym so I am able to exercise in peace now. So I greatly admire you for persevering, as I didn’t have the resilience to do that.

My only suggestion is never to react to these idiots as that is they want. Best of luck, don’t give up!

ExtraOnions · 18/01/2025 20:48

Irridescantshimmmer · 18/01/2025 20:46

Report them, all 3 of them including the child to the council for harassment.

You have the right to run without recieving prejudice from these wierdos.

This thread is 13 years old … i’m sure it’s all sorted

Irridescantshimmmer · 18/01/2025 20:46

Report them, all 3 of them including the child to the council for harassment.

You have the right to run without recieving prejudice from these wierdos.

sheeplikessleep · 30/10/2012 09:41

OP - you're an inspiration. Seriously, if I got comments like that, it would really knock me (from strangers as well as neighbours). You're strong and taking it all with a pinch of salt. I wish I was more like you.

They are morons. Keep going!

QueenofDreams · 30/10/2012 09:18

What I don't get about these people is this: how do they expect people who are overweight to lose weight without getting exercise? This genuinely bemuses me! You're getting exercise, you're losing weight, why are they taunting you for it? I guess I can only conclude that they're a bunch of morons.

Well done btw. I'm just under 13 stone, and desperate to get exercise and lose weight, but I can't due to a lingering pelvic injury from DD's birth nearly 2 years ago.

VolumeOfACone · 30/10/2012 09:13

I only run at night along the river so I don't have to deal with shitty comments from men either leering or being nasty. I'm moving soon and I won't have anywhere similar to run. What am I going to do?!
Some people are so awful! Well done for standing up for yourself though OP. Very brave!

girlinagirdle · 30/10/2012 08:36

I am fat. And I run.

I have been getting a bit meh about it recently because of the dark and the rain.

Tonight I'm going to put my high-vis on (nice), plug my ear phones in and go for a trundle round my block all the while sticking metaphorical vees up at your neighbours.

As the Spencer Davis Group said (shows my age): Keep on Running!

ernieandbert · 30/10/2012 00:03

Gosh, I can't believe there are people like this out in the world. It sounds like school yard behaviour. I think the best thing you can do is ignore them. If you react in anyway, then they might keep doing it, but if not then they'll get bored and stop.

Euphemiaaaarrrrgggghhhh · 29/10/2012 18:19

Next time, when your neighbour makes a comment about you being fat, go all Winston Churchill on his ass and say "I may be fat, sir, but in a year I will be slim and you will still be a baldy bastard."

Pictureperfect · 29/10/2012 17:45

Completely wrong of them,

If it starts getting to you remember the lady who came last in one of the Olympic running races but who got the hugest cheer as in her country she had to put up with people shouting horrid things as she ran- she showed them and you will too

shriekingnora · 29/10/2012 13:29

While out running I have been called a 'fat fucking cunt' and many other things. That was the one that really hurt, though. I also had two teenage girls say 'Go on then, start running' as I walked past them on my cool down lap round the block. I took great delight in saying 'I've just done 10k is that enough for you?'

I do find I get fewer comments when I have a good attitude - if I hold my head high and don't flinch when I approach people. Don't know why this changes things but it really does.

Don't let them get you down and well done on your amazong weight loss. You'll have a longer happier life than them.

5Foot5 · 29/10/2012 13:07

their young son has taken to pointing laughing and making various remarks about running and my weight, to and at me, which I ignore as he is a young child (around 8yo) and knows no better.

When I first read this I thought good grief as I would definitely expect a child of that age to know better. However, having read how his parents behaved I suppose one shouldn't be surprised. They sound like horrible people, please don't let them put you off.

EllenParsons · 29/10/2012 12:40

YANBU, what utter arses. You should be proud of yourself with your brilliant weightloss and tbh I doubt those shouting at you could run 2 hours themselves!

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