To hate it when midwives say "good girl" when women are giving birth

More than this I remember midwife picking up baby and saying, "She wants to be with Mum" and me thinking/confused Huh? My mum's here? Oh no! Took ages to twig that I had morphed into Mum

...only comforting, empowering things...

Would love examples - I am a midwifery student, and although I never say 'good girl', I either stick to 'well done' or get into too much detail when trying to be encouraging, I fear.

I really can't get worked about about it TBH.

Cant remember what my midwives called me but I do remember the ones that were kind.

I didn't particularly "gel" (naff word but true) with the MW who delivered DD - but I wouldn't have cared if she'd called me a good girl - although I might have snickered and said "you clearly don't know me"

The lovely MWs and Dr who came to stitch me up (yup, two MWs, one Dr, ten ton of gas and air and local anaesthetic that didn't work) were great though. Mind you they were there an hour and a half - I was less than an hour start to finish having DD, so maybe I just had more time to bond with them lol!

Had I not been off my nut on G&A I might have cared.

Actually no. I still don't think I would.

Another who wouldn't mind it, it is a caring statement. If it was used in a belittling context then yes, I would take offence but surely "silly woman" or "be quiet woman" would be far worse than "good girl". Caring statements often don't make sense. I still clearly remember holding my newborn getting his vitamin K drops and whispering "clever boy" - why would that make him clever . Tbh the equivalent for a man getting a vasectomy might be "well done" - what has he done well other than lie there? a

Interesting point about the group of women: I remember doing a diversity course and learned with shock that it wasn't done to call a woman a girl - but to me "girl" is just the opposite of "guy" in addition to its meaning of a very young woman (and I use guy/guys frequently).

Still laughing at floradix fido comment

at saying "good boy, just relax, good boy, you're doing really well" to a man enduring an invasive procedure.
A couple of days before my elective caesarian I had to see the anaesthetist and she got me to bend over so she could look at my spine properly, then as I stood up she patted me on the bum and said "Good!" She seemed quite horsey, so maybe when i bent over she forgot I wasn't a horse or something.

the doctor said this to me when stitching me up after DS2's birth. DH thought he had said 'you have a girl' and said 'what, it's a girl?' when we knew DS2 was going to be a boy

I liked it, it felt very caring and not the least patronising esp after a quick ventouse labour.

I have no idea what was said to me while I was giving birth. I was focusing in DH as everyone else was irritating the hell out of me. If they were rude or dismissive towards me, I'm pretty sure I gave as good as I got...

I really never cared if they say things like that, I'm sure they don't mean to annoy you and its intended to be encouraging so I would just take it in the spirit its intended - some people get offended over anything!

I put it in my birth plan that I didn't want to be called good girl, and to be fair, none of them did. They probably called me far worse out of earshot

Couldn't give a shit as long as they're good at their job

I don't really remember them saying much - just 'stop shouting!'. To which I replied 'It's helping!!!!'.

the MW never had time to put gloves on never mind say anything :)

being called a good girl would of had me in fits of laughter. ( family joke)

All I can remember was lots of soothing, positive encouragement. I was very grateful.

I really would have rather the midwife didn't say a word during the pushing stage, the whole "push, push, push....." got right on my wick. TBF the midwife was generally great apart from that.

I would have preferred some semblance of niceness as opposed to the cunt I got as a MW.

Frances - the job of a midwife is to make a woman comfortable. Whilst I don't like good girl, formal isn't the way to go either. Depends on the woman!

OP you should have had my midwife. After one especially painful contraction my DH said 'good girl!' to which I replied f#%k off! Midwife said that she was glad I had said that because if I hadn't she would have

I hate hearing midwives and nurses talk like that and it's very common. It's hard to take them seriously as professionals when they do so - they ought to adopt a more formal way of communicating imo.

Midwife took one look at me with DC1 (I was 20) said, go home you silly girl, you're not having that baby for two weeks. It was great fun walking past her two days later with said baby!

'disenpowering'

For gods sake not everything is a feminist argument.

I was in fecking agony, they could have called me anything they wanted as long as they got dd out, quickly!