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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be pissed off with OH

180 replies

Nannyto2 · 18/08/2012 12:47

I'll try to cut a long story short

Me and OH are both big football fans & agreed we would go to the first home game of season . When speaking about it before tickets came on sale (weeks ago) we agreed we would until they go general sale so we both could go. OH is a member so could of got his ticket before the general sale. OH basically ignored what we'd agreed and went ahead and got his ticket in the members sale and then lied to me and said he didn't get any in the general sale as they had sold out.
This morning when ask OH what he's doing he informs me he's going to football.

AIBU to have a go at him and be pissed off?

AIBU

OP posts:
CakeBump · 19/08/2012 11:58

I think you're right to do it today whilst your feeling strong.

I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight without at least telling him I know, and seeing what he says. I think you do need an initial conversation about what's going to happen over the next couple of days at least.

If you've got no reason to think he'll turn nasty then I would do that.

Nannyto2 · 19/08/2012 11:57

I've asked him for his plans for today and got a reply saying home shower then going to mums for afternoon I'll be home by 7pm for dinner. Which is perfecto!! Getting locks changed today so he'll return and no get in!! His stuff will be going out a window!!!!

OP posts:
MrsTomHardy · 19/08/2012 11:51

I just wrote you a long reply then lost signal and lost it Sad

Text back and say "won't be having dinner later as I'm at mums for the night. I suggest you make the most of the time I'm away by packing up your shit and getting the hell out of my life you lying cheating wanker'.....then wait for his response

WhereYouLeftIt · 19/08/2012 11:50

Excellent suggestion from UserNameNotAvailable. I really wouldn't want to show my hand in this situation until I had my preparations (locks changed and my home secured from anything he might do) in place. The whole ticket thing shows a capacity for spite.

UserNameNotAvailable · 19/08/2012 11:41

Since you've taken what you want to a safe place I would just text back saying you're at your mam's and won't be back, then text him later saying something like you've had a drink so will bee staying over tonight. Thengo home tomorrow change the locks then let him know you know everything. If you say something today he might get in before you and change the locks/trash the house etc.

confusedpixie · 19/08/2012 11:41

Good luck Nanny, how fucking awful of him :( Though you might be better off sorting out locks and things so that he cannot get back into the property after you've spoken to him.

Nannyto2 · 19/08/2012 11:39

He wouldnt hand over the keys so I'd have a fight on my hands which I don't want in a public place. I'm happy for him to stay there tonight and then sort locks etc tomorrow

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 19/08/2012 11:35

If you really must do it today (and I'd personally prefer to deal with the locks/packing up his stuff first) it might perhaps be best to do it by a means other than text.

Your idea of a text for him to meet you in a public place is good, but you're still forewarning him with " be prepared to talk lots" - and forewarned is indeed forearmed. Don't hand him the advantage. Maybe text him along the lines of "let's eat out - meet you in x at x pm". You could take him an overnight bag for work tomorrow, demand his keys (save on changing the locks if he complies) and tell him to come and pick his stuff up after work. Would that work for you, do you think?

Nannyto2 · 19/08/2012 11:18

I'd rather get it done and over with today while I feel a little bit strong

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 19/08/2012 11:15

Oh yes, but not today - let him know tomorrow when he gets back from work. :)

Nannyto2 · 19/08/2012 11:13

I want him to know that I know what he's doing,

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MrsTomHardy · 19/08/2012 11:10

I agree, i wouldn't let on yet, and i don't think i would meet up with him either...whats the point!!!! Hes a lying cheat

Nannyto2 · 19/08/2012 10:58

I've already taken what I want from the house - iPad, laptop, pics etc. all I left was clothes and things I can replace if he does take them

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TerraNotSoFirma · 19/08/2012 10:57

I would not let on that you know anything as yet, txt back saying your mum needs you today so you are staying over, then get all his stuff out whilst he's at work tomorrow.

He is a lying scumbag. Am sorry this has happened to you.

Nannyto2 · 19/08/2012 10:56

I've printed everything I've found on facebook - comments on statuses, messages. He's not no chance in denying it

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 19/08/2012 10:52

Nanny - I wouldn't piss him off just yet. Save it for when you've got back into the house and sorted the locks - if you haven't already done a reply, then just say "I don't know what you're having, I'm at Mum's" and leave it at that. No need to let him know you've rumbled him just yet, or you might find more missing than you'd like tomorrow when you get home.

ImperialBlether · 19/08/2012 10:51

But what happens when you talk? He persuades you that you haven't seen the things you've seen and that he's behaved entirely reasonably?

OP, he's a lying cheat. You will be wasting your time if you have a talk like that with him. You need to knock it on the head.

I would pack his stuff up, ask my mum to be there and then when he gets home I'd give him his stuff and ask for his key. If he asks why, say it's because he's a lying, selfish, cheating bastard and does he want you to go into detail?

Nannyto2 · 19/08/2012 10:45

Mum did make laugh, im going to reply saying meet me In x pub at 8pm and be prepared to talk lots

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 19/08/2012 10:45

Just don't reply.

What's he like when he's angry? If you let him go home to pack while you're not there, do you think he'll just take his stuff and go?

CakeBump · 19/08/2012 10:43

If you don't want to reply, and you're not going to be there all day then leave it, by all means.

Then reply when you're feeling a bit stronger. This is about you, not him!

CakeBump · 19/08/2012 10:42

:) @ your mum, glad she is supportive.

I would need to speak to him face to face soonish though, otherwise it would play on my mind.

Oh well, see what he says! He'll know you know straight away though, presumably.

Nannyto2 · 19/08/2012 10:40

Not replied yet and to be honest I do t really want to

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Nannyto2 · 19/08/2012 10:40

He won't call in sick as he is strongly against it if your not actually sick.

Mum is keeping out of it and letting me sort it although her words when I told her were 'what a lying twat'

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 19/08/2012 10:38

Have you sent it yet?

Could perhaps come up with something different if you haven't.

CakeBump · 19/08/2012 10:35

What has your mum said?