To have children and pass down a genetic disorder?

I disagree Olivia, I think it's a perfect place for it.

I also have Factor V Leiden, I was the first in my family to get blood clots, I've had two DVTs, both when 17, triggered by the pill about 4 years before Factor V Leiden even had a name! I have two DSs they will be tested when 13 I'm told by my GP. I don't know about you but even though I have severe Chronic Venous Insufficiency and suffer from Post Thrombotic Syndrome, I carry on my life as normal, it doesn't stop me doing anything as such. I certainly didn't think about not having children, why would I?

What a lovely 'friend' I dont' think anyone can really judge until they've walked a mile in your shoes. But as others have said, if you went down that route where would it stop?

My dad has depressino, that can be genetic but touch wood I don't seem to be a sufferer. what about breast cancer? Should ugly people not have kids incase they pass on their looks? (Not the same I know). But what I'm saying is there are no guarantees in life and I would hate to live in a world where only 100% 'perfect' people shoudl conceive.

Olivia - i actually think AIBU is exactly the right place for this, as the OP isn't asking WWYD, just venting that her friend was being UR. It isn't even a question, as the unanimous response on the thread has shown, but of course, in your wisdom, you know best about how these threads go.

I often wonder how I would have felt had I known my DD would develop Type 1 diabetes at 3 years. I now know that my DH and I have produced two children who are genetically pre-disposed to develop the condition but neither of us had any idea that we would. There is no type 1 in either of our families at all and I feel incredibly guilty about it every day. I don't know why because I know that we couldn't have known but it still bothers me. All things considered, if I had known would I still have gone ahead? Yes I would because she is the most joyous, wonderful child and deals with it fantastically.

I'm currently pregnant and recently saw a haematologist about a possible Factor V Leiden status. He said he was infuriated by the number of patients being worried by their Factor V Leiden status.

Essentially, 25% of the population have the gene. For most people it's a slightly increased risk factor but is really a very minor thing, not everyone who has it needs warfarin/fragmin etc.

I was told not to worry about whether I had it or not.

Your friend would be appalled by me: I have another dodgy gene that has a 50% chance of being passed to my baby - but won't necessarily manifest as anything nasty.

Try not to worry :)

YANBU, but I'm biased because I also had children knowing that I have a genetic disorder.

It's very easy for your friend to get on her high horse, but she hasn't walked in your shoes. Your condition may be serious, but it's also treatable. I know several people with Factor V Leiden, and all have children, many of whom are also affected. All these people work in useful jobs (two are doctors), contribute to society and are fabulous parents.

Why does your "friend" think that she is justified questioning your right to a family life? Most people don't know what's lurking in their genes, you do and so you take treatment to prevent further clots. I know that Godwin's Law states that Internet discussions inevitably reference to Hitler or Nazism, but really...

Honeytea has any blood specialists been in touch with members of your family? I know that factor v is a grey area with doctors, it would be cool to know if your family has developed some sort of immunity to it?

No, my Grandad had a pulmonary blood clot about 10 years ago and asked for the tests then (he was a vet so knew about it from reading biology magazines I think, it wasn't a commonly offered test) He has the gene. My aunty was tested and she also has the gene, he 2 kids both have it. My mum and uncle were not tested but lived as if they do have it. I was only tested because the midwife flagged up blood clot problems on both my mum and dad's side of the family, my paternal grandpa died when he was around 40 of a blood clot so there was a risk that I would have a double copy of the gene and that would be a possible problem in pregnancy. My family is very sporty and fit apart from me so maybe that is why the gene hasn't caused too many issues.

OP I'm so disgusted with your 'friends' comments who is she to judge?! People like her make me so cross, how dare she say what is right or wrong to do given she is not in that situation? I'm in a similar situation and I dread the day someone passes comments on my life choices I don't think I could control my response. Don't doubt your choices based on someone uneducated opinion please

How is it inherited? (just interested) Presumably your children may or may not have got it, and it's only by chance that they both have it.

It's also clearly not that bad, as you are here posting about having two children. It doesn't sound as if you and your children are "not living a normal life".

I think it depends on exactly how life restricting it is. Injections? well, anyone might be struck with diabetes at any time. It's not a whole big drama these days.

When you say knowing they would have something that has caused me so many health problems do you mean life restricting or just inconvenient?

FWIW, I know someone with 6 children. Knowingly she has passed a congenital heart condition to all 6 children, who periodically undergo open heart surgery to correct defects and replace valves.

No one with an ounce of compassion would say those children shouldn't be here, but I do kind of wonder why she didn't call it quits after 2 children. I don't think that in a harsh or unkind way, but to sit day by day, month by month watching your children be operated on, knowing it was you who passed this on, well I don't think I could live with the guilt that I was causing such pain.

FWIW again, those children have enriched my life beyond belief. They are the loveliest set of teenagers you could ever wish to meet.

Ethel is right - more and more genetic mutations are being discovered that will make you more likely to develop certain conditions, cancer being an example. The eugenics brigade would have some sleepless nights!

I have no experience, but it sounds like one of those things that is a lot easier said than done. YANBU and she's a judgy cow who needs to learn when to keep her fat gob shut about stuff she knows nowt about!

Horrible thing for your friend to say. Your children are here in this world and very much alive. Even if she thought such a mean thing, she should not have voiced it. If children are loved and happy it is never a mistake.

I'd also say that most of us have something we feel guilty about, my husband feels guilty he's passed on his (relatively minor but not ideal) health condition to one of ours, I feel guilty I've passed on my nasty temper. Don't let momentary guilt get to you. Your friend is mean and should keep her thoughts to herself.

I have a dominant genetic condition which causes kidney problems and deafness. It killed one of my babies at 20 weeks' gestation. My DD also has it but thankfully my two DS' are clear.

It's an intensely personal choice. I wouldn't be without my children.

she is a bitch, so in effect she is saying yoiur dcs are not worthy to be here and you are a bad person for having them. I wouldnt class this person as a friend

To stop you reproducing would be eugenics, and im pretty sure thats not allowed.

Why should you be denied the right to have children because a genetic disease that you could niether avoid yourself, or prevent.

Plenty of people have kids knowing the risk of the child having diabetes, so were is the difference?

Your friend is completely out of order. If we all wanted to have genetically perfect children, none of us should reproduce. Of course, if it's a condition that either shorten's life or massively compromises life, you may want to think that through, personally I would not put a treatable condition like Factor V in that category. Ask your children if they would prefer to never have been born!

Is it a double dose of the gene you have? I just don't think it is that serious a disorder most of my family have not been tested and they just act as if they do have it, so wearing flight socks and not taking the pill.

Your friend had no right to get shirty with you. How can she know what she would have done in your position?

Would your children honestly rather they had not been born? Or do they get a lot of joy and interest out of their lives, despite their medical condition?

My DS has very severe allergies which affect pretty much his whole life. I thought long and hard about having another baby, as there is a good chance that siblings will be similarly affected. In the end, when I looked long and hard at DS, I realised that he is a happy, sociable and well-adjusted little boy who enjoys being alive very much indeed. I didn't want him to be an only child simply because of my fears. I am now 28 weeks pregnant with DC2.

Don't let your friend's judgy attitude get to you. Perhaps she should have thought harder before she spoke.