I am not sure what to do.
My parents and I have not spoken for over a year. The history (as briefly as I can put it) is:
My childhood was fraught with verbal and physical abuse. My mother was depressed and resorted to drink. My father was violent and often hit my mother and sometimes me. I saw lots of hideous fights between them ? most often drink fuelled, I used to cower away for the most part, but if I did try to intervene, I often got hit/dragged about by my hair or verbally abused by one or both of them. I witnessed a suicide attempt by my mother. My parents broke up and reconciled many times.
When I got older it eased off. My parents calmed down, made some money and became quite respectable. I moved overseas and during the years we lived on separate continents we were all quite happy with the relationship/status quo.
My father is a controlling man. He likes to do things his way and does not conceive of putting himself out for anybody else. We had a huge falling out in 2004 because I felt that he doesn?t really care. This falling out followed on from my parents? move back to the UK ? they had lived overseas for many years. They moved back to the UK under duress to escape financial ruin and restarted their lives in the UK. It made my father very bitter and he had a huge sense of entitlement. My mother is a shell of a person. She has put up with years of my fathers? narcissistic behaviour and hidden behind a wine bottle. The problem is that she is an aggressive drunk ? it exacerbates her depression and makes her very unpredictable. She tried to commit suicide again in 2001. By 2004 in the face of a myriad of my own personal problems, I cut contact with my parents for 2 years. We reconciled in 2006 but it was tentative and never felt natural.
In 2008 I moved with my DH and kids to Australia. We maintained a ?relationship? with my parents, it was tense though and never really felt natural. We were all going through the motions. Despite this, I made plans in 2011 to visit the UK to see my parents and grandfather for Xmas. My parents made it very clear from the beginning that they didn?t think it was a good idea. They thought it would be too cold ? unfortunately December is the only time my children get a long holiday and I couldn?t imagine coming to the UK for 2 weeks. I decided we?d make the most of a winter holiday and booked us to go to Finland for a week on the way there and to finish the trip in Paris on the way back. We had accommodation in a lovely part of London for the duration of our stay in the UK. As we were arriving in the UK on 23rd December, I proposed that my parents visit us in London for a few days (2 hour drive), then we?d all go back to where they live for another 10 days ? with us staying in a hotel. My parents refused to travel to London. I then offered for my parents to accompany us to Paris for a week ? we thought it would be lovely to share the time together as a family ? my father refused ? to quote him ?he couldn?t think of anything worse than going to Paris?.
This was the last straw, I had spent $20k on this trip and they wouldn?t even let us stay with them. Let alone participate! I cracked and told my father that we wouldn?t be seeing them. We ended up going to the UK, we did not see my parents and we have not spoken for more than a year.
My father sent me an email last week ? asking if we could reconcile ? no questions asked. I don?t want to. AIBU?