'he went to far this time' (warning: upsetting content)

I haven't read the story as the thread above is upsetting enough. Poor, poor woman. I agree both that we should not blame the victim but also that we need to understand the mind set in order to help others.

But, having relatives in prison, and having heard a very moving talk by a prison governor, I do not wish the perpetrator to be met with bullies in prison however appallingly he has behaved. An eye for an eye is not right. How we treat prisoners is a mark of our civility. The punishment is being in prison, not in being locked up with nutters out to harm you. We need to make prisons safe (not cushy, not luxurious) for all. Not least as some people in prison are innocent, and some not yet convicted, or some convicted of trivial offences. I for one would rather campaign for basic human rights for prisoners - imagine never having a fresh vegetable again, never walking on grass, never hearing a bird, not being able to see a dentist when you are in pain, never being able to choose your friends or your bed time, never getting away from the noise of other people screaming, and self harm (I am thinking particularly of women's prisons). So please condemn this man's actions as unspeakable but do not make the mistake of wishing for an inhumane prison system. You, or someone you love, might one day be there through some tragic mistake in the court system.

Perry, you must have read a different piece by the Telegraph than me, then.

Deciding when to leave is very complicated.

Often these things escalate and the victims have trouble deciding what is the final straw when they have essentially forgiven all the minor steps leading to each event.

I told ex that I'd leave if he ever laid hands on me again after the first main incident. But it was not easy to really decide what would make it. Was it the little push he gave me? Only after another significant incident?

Abusive relationships are often complicated and it's difficult for someone outside, and even when going through it, to understand and make final decisions.

Those words really struck me too.

The poor woman has been ground down.

One hit, punch, spit is too far. Gouging her eyes out is so very far beyond going "to far this time".

The guy must surely be mentally ill, but this case has tested my long held belief against the death sentence.

:(

God how does anyone gouge out an eye - let alone two?

Absolutely tragic story.

I watched the interview on the BBC news website and what struck me was heartbreakingly sad she sounded. She worried me really, doesn't sound like she has been able to come to terms with her loss of sight at all.

I feels so desperately sad for her and I hope for her and her children's sake that she is able to find some peace and move forwards.

Perry - the DM referred to her as the 'pretty blonde'

Yes its the woman's fault for staying with him mentality that I find sickening as well.

I recently left an abusive relationship and I only found the courage to leave after six years, its not easy and the perpetrators are often very clever at twisting your sense of reality and in my case I honestly thought I could change him and that it was my fault.

Poor poor woman, I hope he gets what he deserves

Perry, did they? Fucking hell that is reminiscent of when I was growing up and tabloids would refer to rape survivors as, "attractive, young, busty blonde aged 22"

just heard someone on the radio who really tried to get the point acreoss that we too often try to blame the victim.
Not sure it helps to ask why she stayed with him :(

Also incredibly angry that The Telegraph referred to her as "the blonde" while reporting on the piece

That is shockingly sad. That poor, poor woman.

I wonder if other women in abusive relationships will now find the courage to 'leave the bastards'.

Or will they stay thinking it won't happen to them?

It really is disgusting.

Was really saddened when the reporter said that she(victim) thought she could change him - there had been a history of domestic violence.

Oh. I hadn'theard this story on the news.

Terrible. What a horrible man - I hope he gets his!

God this is sickening, I hope someone in prison treats him with the same contempt.

I hope he gets the maximum sentence possible and not some lightweight crappy sentence for being "sorry".

A person capable of this is very, very dangerous.

Sickening story..............

Women stay in abusive relationships for all sorts of reasons. They think they can change their partner....and they lose their confidence. They end up believe the carp they are told about themselves.

I think losing your sight must be awful....must be a very lonely world.

*an

I haven't seen this story, and i don't think I want to seek it out

I sincerely hope karma finds him in prison

"any eye for an eye" ?

yes, bring it on

Apparently she thought that she could change him, as do a lot of women.

DV is minimised by both the perpetrator and the victim.

He won't get life, because of the charge, but i should imagine that there will be numerous attempts to blind him, in prison.

what on earth did she consider to be not going too far previously?

I didn't listen but did she really choose to stick by him or was she always terrified and only managed to access help after this horrible crime?