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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think all men are basically pervs?

390 replies

mrsluvvaluvva · 01/03/2012 13:49

Hi there

Felt compelled to ask this as just lately I have really been seeing men in a different light when in social settings. Perhaps I am just getting old and grumpy or reading something that isn't there.

I have been to a few parties recently and have been really conscious of men eyeing up very young almost tartily dressed teenagers. These girls were dressed very glamorously but waay too old for their age. I saw a couple of girls probably aged 16/17 and a couple over 18's, but not by much.

What I found worrying was middle aged men blatently eyeing them up and more worrying men in my group of friends/family. Men old enough to be their dad's. Not necessarily gawping but craftily staring when they could. Now I'm talking not just about a pretty girl but proper tarted up, hot pants the lot.

It made me feel quite sick to see middle aged men perving like this, so am I being unreasonable here to think even nice guys are secret pervs and although they may not be happy with their daughters dressed up like that, they will happily ogle others?

OP posts:
Honeydragon · 02/03/2012 23:13

I got propositioned by a young gentleman at Christmas practising the art of leering with his friends, whilst onthe way to the post office.

The charmer informed his friend "MILF, I'd do her"

I turned round and told him if he could spell misogynist I'd let him Grin

LovedayPan · 02/03/2012 23:12

well SQ stop boring yourself, and read what is being posted? Again, with respect.

SardineQueen · 02/03/2012 23:12

Yes I do think that leering at a picture is different to leering at a real person

A painting can't feel scared, threatened or uncomfortable.

LovedayPan · 02/03/2012 23:11

no, I mean gay men don't 'leer' other men in groups. It's a bit more delicate. And a damned site more bitchy.Smile

TiggyD · 02/03/2012 23:10

Art perving is totally acceptable. Looking at models or picture of naked ladies/men is fine. If Brian Sewell or the little nun lady perved at real people the way they perve at arted people imagine the fuss!

SardineQueen · 02/03/2012 23:09

Markets as well, market people do that
Also men who drive vans and lorries, they usually have a "mate" so that's 2 against 1 . And they are often 3
Also cars generally with the shouting

Really I get bored of pointing out that this happens when it is on every high st every day

SardineQueen · 02/03/2012 23:07

Um.... eh?

Of course it happens in groups.
You have clearly never been a 13 yo girl walking past a macdonalds. Or a games shop. Or a cinema. Or anywhere else where young men congregate.
Oh that's been a great thing about the smoking ban, groups of men outside pubs ...

Maryz · 02/03/2012 23:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LovedayPan · 02/03/2012 23:05

'shabby chic' - really good! (wonders for how long we will get away with this before a deletion happens).

SQ - try building sites...or posh offices.or arty centres...no, it doesn't happen in groups - that's women on hen nights. Men are much more respectful of each other. Women are, generally, a bit more rough toward each other, ime.

SardineQueen · 02/03/2012 23:05

Tiggy you are missing an important part of perving.

If they don't know you 're doing it, they won't feel uncomfortable. And that won't be any fun, now, will it Smile

TiggyD · 02/03/2012 23:05

Perving in mirrors works quite well. It means you can be facing away from your chosen pervee. Nobody will suspect.

TiggyD · 02/03/2012 23:03

Sunglasses are fantastic for perving with. You can even pretend to be asleep on the beach while perving like crazy at ladies in bikinis. You might possibly need to casually rest a sun hat over any tenting areas.

SardineQueen · 02/03/2012 23:03

But your DDs aren't men Confused

SardineQueen · 02/03/2012 23:02

I'm a bit foxed too, maryz.

Seems to be a rather circuitous way of condoning lecherous men?

Maryz · 02/03/2012 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Honeydragon · 02/03/2012 23:00

OP: All Men are Pervs

MEN: No we are not , we're to busy doing Gay Lite.

Mumsnet rational debate at its very finest.

Maryz · 02/03/2012 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiggyD · 02/03/2012 22:59

Some of them are quite decorative.

...In a 'shabby chic' kind of way.

SardineQueen · 02/03/2012 22:58

Men don't stand around in groups eyeing boys up Shock

It doesn't happen.

The only times I have felt that men were being eyed more than women were when I was in gay clubs. Otherwise it's generally females of all ages getting boggled at.

LovedayPan · 02/03/2012 22:58

We let them on a sort of indulgence.....Grin

TiggyD · 02/03/2012 22:56

They are aren't they Panny. Minds in the gutter. I'm not sure why we let them on the site.

LovedayPan · 02/03/2012 22:55

yes Tiggy, the number of 'lavenders' is a bit shocking, but women do struggle a bit to appreciate this. [controversial]

LovedayPan · 02/03/2012 22:53

SQ - we weren't discussing full sex.Shock We were talking perving and some homo-erotica stuff. Trust a woman to go straight to the sex thing. Vulgar.Smile

SardineQueen · 02/03/2012 22:53

Um but where were you meeting these men who said they were straight?

bog standard high street on a sat night in a bog standard bar?

TiggyD · 02/03/2012 22:49

1 in 3 seems realistic. The amount of chaps I've slept with but were straight is ridiculous. "It doesn't count as gay if one person is wearing a dress", "It's not gay if you don't swallow", "It's not gay if you don't move when Mr Winkie visits Centreparks", etc.

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