To want to stick his twunting hairdryer up his bottom?

is this what happens to married men? they become unable to read messages, then they start being mean to their partners and using hair dryers to do a towels job?

forget insertion. this geezer needs a kick in the nuts!

now blokes don't usually go around condemning another fellows jewels to a beating but this defo warrants a blow to the balls. do it and then explain your actions whist he is on the floor. negative reinforcement. if he wants to behave like a doofus he should be treated as such.

I can't sleep now because of the crazy image of your DP with a hairdryer. But i agree that its not the issue - he's clearly selfish and disrespctful. I'm wondering if his routines leave any time for you to spend together, and i'm imagining that he can't be doing his fair share of chores or even spending time with the kids.
I am disgusted that he would deliberately stomp about and shout at you when you are asleep - am i alone in thinking this is abusive?

I tell you, Mumsnet has opened my eyes over the years, but this...

Seriously,I think that he needs professional help.Surely you can see that this is not normal behaviour.I don't mean to sound unkind but why do you put up with this ?Please take the advice that's been offered to you on this thread.I'm worrying about you now, not sure why but something about his wierdness is making me uneasy.Good luck to you for the future. Mx.

Huh. I just...well, huh.

I'm stumped.

Yeah but, I bet he wouldn't do taht to you at 10pm gone at night, would he Apocalypse? Which takes him out of the Complete Fucking Arse category, unlike the OP's H, who is a fully paid-up member.

Towels are great. OP, your H is a knob. A selfish, immature knob at that.

This guy has OCD. I bet he thinks towels are dirty so he is not going to use one. Using the hair dryer to dry is stupid and please tell him I said so. Also a 15 minute shower? That's long. He warms his clothes before putting them on? He needs to toughen up. Be a man, not a namby pamby.

He has two showers a day? So he spends two hours a day drying himself?

God how boring.

Can you get an industrial tumble drier and just pop him in for 15 minutes? He might shrink a bit the first few times.

I once went out with a guy who showered before going to bed at night but didn't bother drying off because he didn't "trust" towels. Said they were full of germs. Instead he would just get straight into bed, dripping wet. He couldn't see why this was odd. He said fidgeting around in the duvet had him dry in a few minutes and what was the big deal?

I got there in the end

Plus i'm a wee bit squiffy thanks to the bottle of rum sat next to me

selfish bastard.

selfish to you, such applling behaviour and sense of entitlement.

selfish to the children

selfish to the rest of the planet with such profligaate use of electricity, probably so selfish he would not care if ti was pointed out to him.

Apocalypse- it only took you four hours to cave and admit. You'd be no good under torture!

The first time my partner had a shower at my place he paraded out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, as is normal and accepted - but he'd accessorised with a natty cape that he'd fashioned from a second towel. He looked like Sherlock Holmes, if the great detective favoured white-ish cotton.

I pissed myself. He still does it and I still laugh. If he'd whipped out a hairdryer I probably would have given myself some sort of laughter-induced injury.

Ok, ok.

Dp os hairy, very, very hairy. Because of this when he gets a shower he doesn't dry for some time, it's especially awful if he gets into bed straight after, like cuddling up to a damp sponge.

Anyways, because of this I dry him

With the hairdryer

As he changes direction like a chicken being basted on a spit

I also LOVE warming my feet up with the hairdryer

My ex used to dry himself with a hairdryer too. Well, just his bits, actually. It was part of his morning routine. I'd be in the bedroom getting dressed and doing my make-up, and in he'd walk with a towel wrapped round his waist. He would then pick up my hairdryer, switch it on (I'm not sure what setting he preferred) and aim it up his towel skirt, all the while looking at me as if daring me to object.

As I say, he's my ex.

Erm....my dh sometimes dries off with a hairdryer.....never struck me as being particularly weird, but there you go....

OP - hairdryers aside, he was a fucking arse to you.

c'mon Apocalypse, spill

OMG and I thought Ex-DP was weird! No, OP, YWNBU to insert said hairdryer in a convenient orifice. AND I would have tipped his dinner over his head. Your DH has big ISHOOS!

Just read through this and cant stop laughing. The cotton bud thing in particular put the toenail clipping I found under the coffee table into perspective.

OPs hubby does sound strange. Hes also had a bad day and hes lucky he isnt married to me or he would have had one less hairy bit to dry for waking me up and shouting at me.

However Im sure I remember some celeb of the Paris Hilton ilk getting a huge walk through drier installed in their bathroom cos they were worried about the cleanliness of using towels (it looked like a huge hand drier or one of the step in driers they have at Alton Towers and my local swimming pool).

Is it a hygiene thing with him?

bump for more laughter

Ah men are strange sometimes. But really? Waking you up? That in itself allows insertion of something. My husband knows better than to wake me up. he does some wanky things sometimes but waking me up would have dire consequences.

Surely he must burn himself occasionally with the hairdryer? I'm going to try it tomorrow, it might be fun.

He does deserves some praise though for being able to multi-task, hairdrying AND fiddling with mobile............................

Obviously
The cotton bud thread seems to have been deleted. A poster's husband had an itchy bottom and was relieving himself by sticking cotton buds up there and then leaving the soiled cotton buds around the house (including on her bedside table).

It was horrible.

YY film it covertly and put it on Youtube