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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be petrified at how quickly life goes by?

108 replies

wimpofawoman · 08/08/2011 13:25

Seriously, have been thinking about this far too much the last few years, to the point where it can cause shivers of fear to go through me. That's not normal is it? I'm 37. I consider myself a very lucky person with a happy healthy family with no more problems than the usual ups and downs of life. It's a cliche that the older you get the faster the years go by, but since our first dc was born I feel like I've blinked and 10 years has passed. So why spend time worrying about how much time I have left, and how to stop?

OP posts:

Goatsarebest · 08/03/2026 23:28

bruffin · 08/03/2026 23:08

You do know this thread is now 15 years old. My DS and DD , not sure why it's been bumped.,
My year 11 Ds is now 30!

Show quote history

Just saw that. Great that everyone is still around and doing well. I'll sign off now. Those 15 years flew by😁

Goatsarebest · 08/03/2026 23:25

StoopidBint · 08/08/2011 16:09

I worry about how fast time is going too. And then I worry how on earth I'm going to avoid death until I'm a reasonable age so I can see all my children into adulthood.

I think if you have children this is a huge milestone. We never discussed it, but getting all ours past 25 healthy and happy and independent definitely changed our perspective as parents on aging and mortality. It's almost a relief that you can face the inevitability that you die, without the stress of leaving dependent children. Now it's all a bonus and life is to be lived kind of thing.

Wiseplumant · 08/03/2026 23:16

Try reading some Proust, every flaming minute lasts a day! There's a man who knew how to slow time down.

bruffin · 08/03/2026 23:08

Goatsarebest · 08/03/2026 23:04

Do you think at the start of a film or a book that you know it will end so it's pointless watching it or reading it. You watch or read because you get something out of it, it enriches your time, it stimulates emotions, it connects you with others or with your beliefs or desires. Whatever time we have can be exactly the same. Life doesn't have to have huge meaning, why should it.

Show quote history

You do know this thread is now 15 years old. My DS and DD , not sure why it's been bumped.,
My year 11 Ds is now 30!

Goatsarebest · 08/03/2026 23:04

Sausagesarenottheonlyfruit · 08/08/2011 13:52

Thank you for starting this thread. I never realised others felt like this, thought i was alone. Other people seem to bowl through life as if they don't understand that one day they will die. The very thought of no longer existing gives me cold shivers and makes living at all seem rather pointless.

TennisLady · 08/03/2026 21:17

Yes I’ve been feeling a lot like this recently. I find modern day phones where you can look back through photos from this time x years ago makes you feel as though life is whizzing by.

Original poster

wimpofawoman · 11/08/2011 11:29

Sue52 that is EXACTLY what I need to hear - thank you! Not planning on the baby at 44 though, although I guess if it happened it would be welcome, once we got used to the idea....

OP posts:

goinnowhere · 10/08/2011 23:10

I feel like this. I don't mind being older at all, but I really mind hurtling towards death, and being able to do nothing about it. That is what really gets to me. I am constantly amazed that everyone dies. I spend time working out how long I have left. That's not healthy is it?

wompoopigeon · 10/08/2011 22:45

I must be the only person on MN who is enjoying getting older! I am more confident, I know myself better and I have less patience to do things I don't want to do.
I don't feel life whizzing past at all. It's not that I'm relentlessly happy, more that I don't freak out that years are passing in some out-of-control way.
I sat with someone this year as they died. It is not that scary honestly. We all just need to hang onto the carpe diem feelings, but why so much anguish? I don't want to live for ever. I would be knackered.

A1980 · 10/08/2011 22:31

But 40 is nothing these days, A1980 ! Have you looked into going it on your own?

I know 40 isn't old but I have fertitily issues: prolactinoma. I also can't afford to go it alone

CheerfulYank · 10/08/2011 21:27

I think just not rushing around and really remembering everything, Stagnant . It's so cliche, but really looking at the colors of the flowers, etc, is helpful.

StagnantRabbit · 10/08/2011 21:18

This thread is just how I have been feeling since DS was born 4 years ago... that's when the realisation hit and I've thought/pondered the passage of life at least daily ever since. I've been desperate to find a way to slow life down but to no avail. I wondered if time slowed down if things weren't going well of if a miserable/difficult time was being had.... but DP who has spent a period of time in prison says that even when you're locked up, time zips by. If anyone has any life-slowing tips, please post!

Sorry for jumping on the thread late - I wanted to read all the posts before I posted.

sue52 · 10/08/2011 10:06

Time does seem to speed up as you get older possibly because we have so many memories. There are compensations. I find myself more in love with Dh now than when we married 30 years ago, we can afford better wine, holidays and our daughters are great people of whom we are proud. I also don't give a damn what other people think of me anymore and that is a great thing. There will one day be an end to my life but until that time I will do my level best to keep happy and not worry about things I have no control over.
A1980 I was a mother again at 44. Those trips to Top Shop with my teenage daughter help keep me young(ish).

CheerfulYank · 10/08/2011 03:03

But 40 is nothing these days, A1980 ! Have you looked into going it on your own?

Portofino · 09/08/2011 23:17

I was brought up by gps who were early 40s when I was born. I am early 40s now with a 7 yo and it is entirely different. I am no old fogey. My dd is happy as larry. Don't write yourself off just yet.

A1980 · 09/08/2011 22:51

You are 33. Your life is not finished yet. I had dd at 35 and got married at 37. And there are plenty of people older than me doing these things. You have plenty of options to explore still.

I know, I know. But I don't really to be an older mother. My mother was a much older mother and I never ever got to know her young. I don't want children i have to only ever know me over 40. I wish I'd had them in my 20's but i wasn't with the right person.

Portofino · 09/08/2011 22:22

A1980, I don't think anyone said they were depressed about it. I think the point is more that when you HAVE children, the saddest thing ever is thought of leaving them.

You are 33. Your life is not finished yet. I had dd at 35 and got married at 37. And there are plenty of people older than me doing these things. You have plenty of options to explore still.

A1980 · 09/08/2011 21:58

Also, I watched the John Lewis ad and it made me sad in a completely different way.

I'm single and will prob never had children now at 33 and with known fertility issues. While seeing that ad makes you realise they grow and move away and you get old, you lot actually have that. I would love my own little family to raise and see grow and develop and have families of their own. Someone you met at uni, marry, have a family with, etc.

If you were to make a John Lewis ad about my life, it would be wandering around alone until old age wondering what to do. That's much more chilling and depressing that having your children grow up. You all need a kick up the butt and need to realsie that what you have is something to be in awe of, not be depressed about.