Bored by full-time motherhood

Oh i go there as well but the work carries on to home so it merges. I think its sad you cant have moments in your head where you are just you and the kids arent on your mind. :(

ah,ok i have a workplace that i travel too.and its blessed relief to finish and get home sometimes.

I cant switch my work off like that as my job permeates home life..its not 9-5 engagement.

i easily compartmentalise but cannot switch the dc off.they are always on my mind on some level.but its up and down like a volume control.

work i have to be able to switch off (never completely) to retain sanity if i didnt id be switched on thinking 24-7

Really scottishmummy? I reckon I get switch off times....like first thing in the morning before they wake and after bed. I know they are safe and well and tucked up and so can "switch off" in the same way I "switch off" from my paid employment.

Dont get me wrong, its a large and valuable contribution to the family. A job, however, it ismt imo.

no sahm or oarent isnt a job at all
i can switch off from work, i have changed posts, moved about. i love work but its incomparable to being parent.im never switched off to my children.

Im sorry, Im not one of the "sahm is a job" believers. Its not a job, its looking after you kids and family.

I work out of the home 3 days a week. I am a sahm 4 days a week. I do not acknowledge that the sahm days are difficult or equal in my case.Not by a freakin long shot

no one is disputing its hard work, but its not a job.

you asked is sahm a job?
no emphatically its not a job
no one comes round anyone else house and acknowledges the laundry done,dinner cooked,support and nurturing given to dc. LOL i could equally ask do you come to my house and congratulate and acknowledge on our parenting. errr no of course not. so hardly likely im going to single you or anyone else out for acknowledgement

and yes of course we made a lifestyle choice to both work ft.that how we planned it.

So you do not acknowledge the hard work SAHM's like me put in?

Being a dual income family is also a lifestyle choice.

no sahm isnt a job.daft to suggest otherwise.its a lifestyle choice

Of course it is job, and it is a job that those who work pay someone else good money to do.
Granted it doesn't have the bureaucracy that childminding has but when you peer through the mound of paperwork a childminder/ nursery worker does the same job as a good mother who stays at home. (good as in does stimulating things with children, feeds them healthy food etc etc)
The thing is all parents don't do it all of the time - SAHM's do do all of the time and get little respect for it from people like you. Because it cannot be quantified.
The 10 hours a day I would be out of the house if I worked outside the home are spent working hard - school runs, making freshly cooked meals, cleaning and tidying, and of course doing things with my children.

of course sahm not job as in employment.risible to suggest otherwise
its the stuff parents do. all parents. the emotional and practical tasks that parents do.some parents do it at weekend and evening after work, and some dont work and do it at home

What is SAHMotherhood if it is not a job?

you're way of mark.cm are registered, inspected and self employed.have to demonstrably work to certain standards of childcare.it is a job

a sahm has no standards to adhere to - does own thing and there is no external legislation enforced. it is not a job and doesnt attract a salary

oops

'What about childminders they are effectively SAHM's for other peoples children.
Are they mugs?
Or are they, because they earn a salary for doing it they are somehow valued more?'

was supposed to read:

What about childminders they are effectively SAHM's for other peoples children.
Are they mugs?
Or are they, because they earn a salary for doing it somehow valued more?

I hate the idea that if you are a SAHM you are a mug for doing womens work.
I am a SAHM for financial reasons - I don't earn enough to pay someone else to look after mine.

What about childminders they are effectively SAHM's for other peoples children.
Are they mugs?
Or are they, because they earn a salary for doing it they are somehow valued more?

SAHM are not valued by society and are not given credit for the good work we do. Yes they are my kids I look after all day - but why would it be more highly thought of if they were someone elses?

When frustrated by being at home, I have found it useful to attach a monetry value to the services I provide -
Childcare £980 / month
Ironing £60 / month
Cleaning £60 / month
Seeing as though everything in our society revolves around money.

I view my relationship as a partnership, although my choice to stay at home was mine and mine alone, he totally respects me and realises that it is in no way his decision to make. It works for us, although I might have to get a job in the future and have worked part time before when DS1 was a baby up to DS2's birth.

Like you say nothing is set in stone.

I hated being a SAHM (maternity leave) and i would not choose to do so again for all the tea in China. It was a thankless task and bloody hard work.
OP, continue to look for another job.

yes i do judge that woo hoo nonsense,doesn't mean you have to accept it. and i imagine you have strident views on capitalism and pursuit of consumer durables as empty and worthless. doesn't mean i have to accept it.or think shes taking about me when i read it

thats the point words on a screen -manonymous discursive forum

scottishm - your earlier post re "sag aloo", gurus (and also a much earlier one i noticed while re-reading this thread about this not being a hippy commune) - did make me feel just a teeny bit judged for having a different perspective to yours, if i'm honest...
also loving this thread though.

Also for some people life just changes
I had an improbably successful career and am now retraining in something completely different
It was weird being at home at first. Weird filling the days. Weird finding my feet with the children
Now I'm enjoying it and getting good at appreciating things I would never have noticed before. I don't think it's easier to be at home but I'm enjoying it.

I find not having a title hard tbh. When people ask what I do it still feels weird to say I'm a mum at home. I feel judged by that and it makes me question what judgements I have made of others and what having that job really meant to me.

I think you can enjoy different things at different times. I agree that nothing is set in stone.

no one should feel challenged or got at,we all make our individual choices
i knew id never sahm,nursery booked at 12wk pg.and ive never wavered from that. wasn't until antenatal group when i met the precious moments mamas who berated it that id encountered such views.ime in real life no one discusses this stuff or sweats it

and yes it is an stimulating thread

sorry, scottishm, not meaning to be precious. i do find my hackles go up easily when challenged on this subject. might be that as a sahm my sense of priority is a little skewed [disingenuous]