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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bored by full-time motherhood

338 replies

boredtodeath · 25/05/2011 15:18

I was made redundant last year after 12 years in a very demanding job. I decided to view it as a positive thing (I got a decent redundancy package so was not in financial dire straits) and throw myself into finally having time to be with my children aged 6 and 2. The only trouble is that I am unspeakably bored. Has anyone else felt this way or am I just a horrible mother? I adore them both but I feel like the household maid rather than the Mary Poppins-esque woman I had hoped to be. Where am I going wrong? Is there anyone out there who feels the same?

OP posts:
SarfEasticated · 25/05/2011 15:48

I made friends with other irreverent slack harridans like-minded mothers, kept in touch with my work friends and also arranged to go out once a week to the pictures with old non-mother friends. I also listen to radio 4 which gives your brain a work out too.

It is tough though, doesn't make you a bad mother to find it hard.

mrspat · 25/05/2011 15:47

I'm a SAHM, and there are days when I feel just like this, I can't wait untill I can go back to work, It's not practical for us at the moment, but I miss being more than just mummy somedays :(

porcamiseria · 25/05/2011 15:46

everyone is different, DP is a SAHD and he really enjoys it

you dont.

err, maybe...GET A NEW JOB!!!!

twinmam · 25/05/2011 15:43

Oh and if you still don't get what you need from being at home all the time then maybe look for a part time job/ take on some freelance work if you can.
I work part time and I really think I have the best of both worlds.

twinmam · 25/05/2011 15:41

Oh god, totally agree. There are parts of being at home that are incredibly dull (and that is not to belittle or demean SAHMs at ALL)!
I suspect from your comments that the thing you are finding really boring is the domestic chores etc which is totally understandable.
I think the following things can make it more bearable:

  • organise yourself so you're only being a drudge at certain times not constantly; have time with the kids and play with them.
  • Leave the house at least once every day: park etc
  • make friends with other mums and meet up with them to chat whilst the kids play
  • mumsnet!
  • try and force yourself to enjoy doing things with the DCs. That sounds awful but it's not always automatically fun to spend time with little ones, no matter how much you love them. I put on music and dance with the DDs, make tents with them etc.
  • don't be too hard on yourself. It's a big adjustment and you are probably having to reassess who you are and what's important to you.
WoTmania · 25/05/2011 15:39

YANBU (I say this as a SAHM by choice.) It can be the dullest of jobs

Spudulika · 25/05/2011 15:39

There's a lot of gruelling skivvying involved in being a SAHM.

I moan about it all the time.

My part time job stops me going completely loopy.

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/05/2011 15:38

Oops, Sqee

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/05/2011 15:37
IndigoBell · 25/05/2011 15:34

There is absolutely no way I could stay at home full time.

Start to work out what job you would most like to do now that money isn't such an issue......

Sqee · 25/05/2011 15:32

I think even the most happy SAHM would have to agree with you in some way or another! YANBU you are just being human.

(BTW I am Mrs Terry Pratchett! :o)

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/05/2011 15:24

I know what you mean but I predict you will get lots of posts that are less than understanding. The phrase, I didn't have kids for someone else to raise them will be used.

DaisyLovesMetronidazole · 25/05/2011 15:23

I wouldn't even attempt stay at home motherhood.

Maternity leave was too long and boring for me!

It doesn't make you a bad person or a bad mother.

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