To not want all our weekends eaten up by ds's football playing?

I would also dispute it is selfishness. Since when did children get to say how a family spent their weekend? It wasn't like that when I was a child and I don't like the way that so many people now feels the need to make the children the centre of everything and make all the spare time about them.

I have to say I wouldn't want to make the sacrifice either. DS2 is currently doing football training on a Saturday morning. He can't join a club as we go to church on Sundays but if he did it would be one training evening and the match on a Sunday. He enjoys it but I doubt he would want to give up 2 evenings to training sessions - that seems excessive. Of course children should have their own interests but they shouldn't be so all consuming that everybody else suffers. What is the DDs do want to do something? The family are going to hard pushed to find the time if they have to fit round so much football.

Everybody should get the chance to do something not just the DS. Don't pretend its only an hour at the weekend. DS's training is an hour but with getting ready, getting there and back it is the entire morning gone with the rest of us waiting to get on to do doing something else. We do it, we do it without letting him know its not what we would chose to do but it is a bind and having had Saturdays free to do what we please until recently, it does feel like we have had our wings clipped.

It's not just weekends. I was hoping to get to the Beer Festival this week, but two lots of cricket, band practise, two lots of football, Scouts, youth club, karate and a birthday party are getting in the way. But hey, this is what parenthood is all about. One day I'll miss all this, but I'll be able to spend more time at the Beer Festival to compensate.

But surely you can do this as well? Its about a balance I think. We do go places like castles because we are members of National Trust Scotland and time is precious as I work Mon-Fr and DH works all day Sat so its just Sunday for us. If my DS2 wanted to play football I would be the first to admit I wouldnt relish taking him etc because I have no interest in it I would probably bribe DS1 to take him but I would guess have to make the effort.

As it is he goes to Scouts and has now said he wants to go to the local dance class to learn tap dancing.

When they're young, you don't travel far - the league will cover local clubs and a longer drive will only happen occasionally. The matches are short. A well organised club will "rest players" to ensure that those who make the journey get a decent game. If the coach insists on the whole squad going and your DN only gets to play for a few minutes, tell your SIL to find a club with a better attitude. The length of the match for U7s will be no longer than 2x15mins plus 2x7.5 minutes. If it's a Saturday morning, that leaves the rest of the weekend for "family time". Plus, as many have mentioned, the season doesn't go on the whole year.

If your DN likes football he should be given the opportunity to play matches. It is a competitive sport afterall. But do tell your SIL to make sure there's a well-behaved, well-grounded set of parents who are keen that the boys and girls enjoy what they're doing.

A seven year old's football commitments won't take over the whole family's weekend. It's only when you get to Academy level you clock up the miles and have to invest a lot of time to this.

Is this actually your SIL, or you?!
Either way, I don't understand the point of the question. Either she is going to compromise on what she thinks constitutes family time (and I can't believe 2 under 5 DD's get much out of a steady diet of stately homes, and museums...god when I think about all the similar places we used to take DS1 to, and he really would have been just as happy mucking about in the park...obviously different with DS2, as he has to fit in more with DS1) and take him to football, or she isn't, and will justify the choice.

duckdodgers - by the way dodging ducks sounds like an excellent family weekend activity

Different priorities as in go to the cinema as a family maybe?

My neice is in her late teens now

she hated being dragged out to watch her brother play football every Sunday morning
she still bemoans it now

compo I know you corrected it but I had a wee laugh there at what on earth a cootie game was

Or work at weekends

Different priorities? Explain a bit what you mean then. And do you think it would be different if it was an activity she was interested in?

There's something very mumsnetty about this
in rl most mums I know don't ferry their kids about all weekend
most like lie ins and bacon sarnies
or moan about hungover dh's

I'm afraid I'm in the "welcome to parenting" club! My two boys play, rugby/football/cricket and swim. We have at least one school match a week during the week as well as the extras they do outside.

Almost every other saturday this term has a cricket match - yesterday we were lucky and they were both home so we could watch together - they then practice on Sunday morning.

Winters are spent Saturday afternoons at football and Sundays at Rugby (although DH often takes them)

This is family life in our house - I pray our DD is non sporty!

So I think your SIL is BU and should let DN enjoy it while he can

ps what you think is going to be a cute hobby takes over your life

once your/her ds signs on the dotted line, they own all your asses

ime

Lol at cootie sorry footie

I remember in reception i didn't take ds to every party as there was one on every Saturday and Sunday practically
people thought it odd but with dh working poor dd would have had to sit and watch
I preferred taking them both to the park tbh

I'm with your SIL on this one

ds did it for years- match on sun, training two nights after school and an optional (!) saturday morning

at the time, the dds were small, and it took up a lot of everyone's free time. The matches were awful- all in far flung corners of London, freezing our tits off and listening to pushy dads swear and shout at their sons. Dreadful.

I didn't tell ds so, but was very relieved when he quit

I can see where you're coming from
for example my dh would rather take our two dcs swimming with him on a Sunday morning than take ds to a cootie game and have dd just watch
I work weekends so can't help out, I take it all the posters ferrying around all weekend have lovely 9-5 jobs in the week

Is it just because shes selfish generally and cant be bothered taking her DS to an activity he would enjoy or is it because its football and she would ahve to watch something shes just not interested in despite her Ds being there? And would it be different if she was taking her DDs to dancing and getting involved in all that entails if shes more interested in that?

It's not automatically part of being a parent, it's a way some people choose to parent, it suits some families and doesn't suit others. All children need to be active but only some suit and enjoy sport.

Neither of my children want to play sport although they are both involved in scouting so spend occasional weekends camping/hiking/canoeing but most of their activities are in the week giving us weekend time together to go walking, swimming, going to church, visiting family, playing in the park, having friends over.

ah there is nothing like driving 40 miles across the county to stand by a wet and muddy football pitch on a freezing cold december morning.

If he's in a club that is starting to play in leagues, then yes it will take over more of the weekend than you can imagine. They might only play a short time each way, but you have to ferry to obscure away venues ahead of kick off and then hang around for the duration. They'll want a squad bigger than the number of players (will substitute so everyone gets a bit of a game), so it'll be every fixture. The club will expect participation, even though you can decline fixtures, and DS will want to be doing it. It's a pain, and I was so glad when mine gave up! Even footie mad dads find it demanding.

That said, I got DH to do most of it, and we did find ways to do it as that's what the boys wanted. It is a sacrifice you have to make if you want to support your child in club football though.