To not want all our weekends eaten up by ds's football playing?

But surely the sisters will have their turn when it comes ,I think this is an age thing ,in my experience 7 is about the age that children start to develop their own social life,interests etc.Up until that stage a lot of their friends are influenced by parents but now they start to take their first independent steps,this is healthy,this is what we are there for as parents to help to develop our children and to support them to be the adults that they want to be.

What a shame if Jaqueline du Pres' parents had said" no you can't learn the cello your sister isn't interested in tagging along to lessons or concerts",or Rebecca Adlington,"no you can't swim thats not fair on your siblings" .

When your nephew is sitting his GCSEs will he not be allowed to stay in and revise because its not fair on his sisters.

I do have a lot of sympathy,i was so relieved when ds1 finally gave up Rugby in some ways it did dominate but now he is 17 I sort of .look back on the camaraderie of those days with affection,it really is only a short stage in life.Now I spend sundays at chess tournaments with ds3!The key is balance ,one interest fine ,maybe two but somewhere you have to make sure they do still have family time .

On another note it does sound as if the interests of mother and sisters are trumping the sons.

I think that parents should be thrilled if their DCs want to do something healthy and sociable-they would soon moan if they lock themselves in front of the computer and never see a friend or want to hang around down the park because they are bored and there is nothing to do!
It needs every encouragement.

His sisters do not have to hang around football pitches! You dont have to watch only one parent does or not even that. The sisters will be doing their own thing like ballet/dance classes and competing in competitions.

My son went to football and I hated it but I still took him he only went for the one year, you are assuming that this boy will go all the time, I doubt that, he might not want to do it after the first season.

What do they gain? Comradship, exercise, competition, friends a social life and not being dragged around stately homes with the parents on the weekend even though it is boring as shit.

My nephew takes part in amateur dramatics-that takes massive time when there is a play on. He got into National Youth Theatre-not something he could have done with parents saying 'we want our time free' and 'his brother will be bored'!
Children don't need possessions, but they do need your time and commitment.

They will gain friendships, fitness, discipline, FUN, responsibility, passion, pride, teamwork, self confidence.

Many men continue sports throughout their life. Most of dh's friends are through rugby.

The posters who have said it's not for everyone, no, it's not but if your dc expressed an interest would ypu not encourage them to at least try it? If they are not interested then there's no issue.

We still have plenty of time for pottering in the garden if at the park or walks with the dog.

Surely this is all about compromise and encouraging your children to grow?

Cost needn't be an inhibitor, many clubs are sympathetic and willing to help with costs kept as low as possible

It is part of being a sibling. Surely it works 2 ways and he hangs around with them? I found that younger siblings went off to play-there was often a recreation ground nearby. The other reason for developing a local network-share lifts and share child care-leave the sisters with a friend, have the friend the next week.
I can see that ging down well at inteview too
Q Have you taken part in active sport.
A I would have loved to play football, but my sisters would have been bored!

It's about balance. Of course you should support your child in their hobbies but family time is important too.

My dds do ballet and I often spend weekends ferrying them to festivals with costumes/props in tow, doing their hair and make up and driving home again. All for their 5 mins on stage!

Dd1 auditioned for London Children's Ballet this year. She wasn't successful this time but her friend was and I was really impressed with the commitment of some of these parents. The rehearsals are in London every weekend and then daily nearing the performance. My friend lives in London suburbs so not too bad but some of these children travel from all over the country to take part in the show. I think one even flew down from Scotland every week! Don't think I could go that far myself but yes you should support your child in their hobbies and activities. Who knows where it might lead? And even if it doesn't lead anywhere and they just have fun that's really important too.

I know that one interview my DS came back from and he said to his , much younger, brother 'you need to start doing things now-they went back to about 12yrs'! The expectation was that they would have had a busy extra curricular life-from their own interests.

Sorry-left out you-have you taken part in regular sport?

I can't believe that people are so selfish that they have children and then don't want to support them in an interest. Much better than hanging around or being forced into something by the parent.
Perhaps it should come with a warning-life won't be the same and you will need to put yourself out a little!
I think theyhave gained a great deal for later life, emkana and they will need things to go on personal statements and job applications etc. Active, regular sports is a good one to have on there.
If it isn't football they need music, Scouts, community work etc-regular things that generally need a taxi service. Life is competitive-they can't do a personal statement from nothing!
I'm just imagining the interview.
Q Have taken part in any regular sport.
A No, I would have loved to have joined my local football team, but my parents refused to take me to training and matches-they wanted their weekends free.
Get a good network so that you can have weeks off-share lifts.

'So they do this until they are 15/16 then give it up. What have they gained from it for the rest of their lives, provided they are active without football?'

It's just something enjoyable to take part in with the benefit of competition and camaraderie. It shows you have some discipline off your own back too which isn't a bad thing to say about yourself in the wider world.

I guess they do it for as long as they REALLY want to do it (which may only be 6 weeks....)

And they have gained - well, they have had FUN (hopefully), and gaiuned the habit of being active, and are able to play a game which many men continue to play through their lives, even if they are not "real footballers".

And they have had the socialising which is part of being involved in team sports....

If the child wants to do it (and it is affordable) then let him, surely a child wanting to do any sort of sporting activity is good for them? And it doesn't really take the whole weekend does it, still plenty of time to do other things as a family.

When I was younger my parents ferried me all over the country when needed for my St John commitments, at times I was out all weekend doing things. I am sure there were times they really couldn't be arsed but it was always done without complaint and I am thankful for that. When DS is old enough I hope I can have the same attitude as my parents did and support and encourage him in what he wants to do.

two lots of cricket, band practise, two lots of football, Scouts, youth club, karate and a birthday party are getting in the way. But hey, this is what parenthood is all about.

It really really isn't what parenthood is all about

what if you can't afford all that?
Or are at work?

A kick about with your mum or dad in the park can be just as good you know
really it just seems on mn that everyone does everything
some people just like to take the kids up the allotment in a Sunday morning or to church or to the woods

It is what you do if you have DCs.Just be pleased that they have a healthy interest. I hate football but can't tell you how many hours I have spent on the sidelines. The sensible thing is to get together with others, share lifts and have tie off. The years go quickly-nice to look back and think that you fostered an interest.

Oh and if you are friendly with other parents you can share lifts so you might only have to do every second or third week.

It is not selfish though - and it is not ESSENTIAL. My parents didn't spend all their time ferrying me from one activity to another. And many children today don't either. However, it is an "extra" which may well greatly benefit your nephew.

Football season's over now. You can all now enjoy the free Saturday or Sunday mornings so much more now.

Well I do grumble a bit about the to-ing and fro-ing to activities I must admit , football being only one on the long list of many as we have 3 dc.

There's dancing, swimming, cubs etc. But dh does loads and loads of helping with it too. It's the impact on mealtimes and the general pressure to be places that's difficult. But having said that I don't really mind. I want them to do these things - I know they appreciate and enjoy it.

I do see it as part of being interested parents. Not a sacrifice as such, just part and parcel of wanting to help dc try things out and getting involoved in what interests them. If we didn't do them, yes we'd have some days out. Sometimes. We do still do all that, but I doubt we'd be able to replace the activities the dc do with family stuff every week and it's not the same. They've made lots of friends, feel committed and are part of something bigger.

And when I think of my own childhood... Well that's not what I want for mine. I did nothing. My parents weren't engaged, didn't offer and I never asked. We had the occasional day out and that was it, and looking back I think what a waste

I am really sitting on the fence here.

On the one hand most of my dd's friends Mums are all horrified that I spend my weekend taking my children to various activities - apparently they are strongly of the opinion that weekends are for relaxing and kicking back, so to speak. Although most of them do go to church on a Sunday (which I don't).

The flip side is that most of my ds's friends all go off to play football on a Saturday morning and Rugby on a Sunday. I actually bowed out this year (football practice was changed so it was the same time as my daughter's pre existing dance class - and rugby is late in the evening and too f*ing cold - and as my son was still 5 he wasn't allowed to play matches anyway, just train - he is old enough for matches this year though) but strongly suspect we will be doing it all next season. Frankly I think being competent at team sports is just too important as a playground skill nowadays.....

But ops nephew does want to play football oddboots, yours enjoy other activities which you enjoy with them. See it as a chore, it will be a chore. Embrace it and it won't seem so bad!

An yes I like a lie in and bacon sarnie as much as the next person and still get the bacon part regularly though often it's from the van at the football pitch! And no washing up!

Haven't had a lie in since 2007 but not a priority for me. dh works most weekends anyway. A couple of times a year we have a night away and boy do we love that lie in!

Surely children should be encouraged to find interests? To take part in those interests. To interact with his peers. He won't play football on Saturday and Sundays and it does only take two hours leaving plenty of time for family activities.

I think your SIL should find out how much time it will take up first, childrens interests should be put first, not last.