To not want all our weekends eaten up by ds's football playing?

It's a nightmare. When both of mine were squad swimming I was at the pool for 9 training sessions a week - 3 of them started at 5.45 am. Every weekend was taken up with galas, competitions or training sessions in a bigger pool

You do it because they clearly have potential but it's hell on earth

you try cricket

how long does it last for?
my dad said " its ten years of you life, then you never do it again, your kids are gone and youll miss them"

Thebride, I am the same although I have fingers crossed he wants rugby rather than football so at least I understand what is going on!

Football is nothing compared to the impact squad swimming has on family life!

That's true. I play tennis with a woman whose girls are competitive swimmers. They are always going overseas to comps and stuff.

True, Jins. Neither or my two are good enough into that, but I have friends who are involved and WHY ON EARTH are the galas on Saturday nights, fgs????

I am really looking forward to DS getting into his "own stuff". Am I just delusional?

Football is nothing compared to the impact squad swimming has on family life!

In the rain and mud I used to think 'oh for a girl and ballet'!! Unfortunately you have to go with what you get.

Your not selfish for being glad x

The OPs SIL is selfish for not considering it. I am glad my daughters are not into dancing and all that comes with it, but I would have done it if I had to. That's the difference.

I thank the Lord that my DS (in particular) has never been into team sports that would have necessitated me standing on the touchline in the cold. Before you flame me, however, I've just done a mental calculation of all the activities that I have ferried both DCs around to over the years: beavers, cubs, brownies, swimming lessons, drama, ballet, fencing, table tennis, tennis, choir, badminton, karate ......... plus supervising music practice in flute and piano. Plus all the social 'playdates' and parties and so on. Most of the above, however, take place during the week, with the exception of drama, so on the whole our weekends can be a little more relaxed. So I entirely refute the suggestion I might be selfish for being a little glad about that.

We have a caravan on the coast that we go to most weekends throughout the spring/summer.

I should make the most of this and enjoy the stage-there will come a time shortly when they won't want to do it!

'When people say 'I want a baby' they should realise that that stage goes in a flash-what they should really be saying is 'do I want DC and teenager with a life of their own ,which will mean that I can't do what I like, when I like'

Wise words.

When you are lying awake waiting for your 17yr old to come in, when he is having a lift from his friend who has just passed his test, you will think 'oh for the days when I just had to do football training once a week and a match on Sundays'!!!
Parenting is never easy-never has been.

i have often wondered about adults who have no interests at all, who just work and go home and watch tv and then spend their weekends mooching about or doing housework or shopping.. i wondered how they ended up like that...

now after reading this thread i know, and it makes me

OP please listen to the voices of experience

I'm glad that we have the voice of common sense!
What is so important that you want to do in the time? Probably doing nothing much at all-is my guess. There is plenty of spare time around it.
It does mean that you have to stop being an island and thinking that you are the only one who can do things with your DCs. You have to network, have people's DCs so they can have yours, share lifts. Even if you don't know the person you can approach them and say 'I see that you live 2 roads away, how do you feel about lift sharing', they will probably jump at it but the worst they can say is they would prefer not to. At a push, if you really have something you must do, you can say to the manager, do you think x could have a lift-they won't mind as long as you don't make it a regular thing.
I have a big age gap and so if DH was away I had to take a baby and toddler off to a game-we managed.

OP has got a big shock coming! Even if you refuse to let your 7 yr old get involved you will find that the teenage years are different. They may be picked for school teams, they will go on trips where they need to be at school before 7am, they will go to parties and want a lift past midnight. Much safer to give the lift than say 'I can't be bothered, get a taxi' -do you really want to go to bed worrying about your 16yr old getting a taxi at 2am?

When people say 'I want a baby' they should realise that that stage goes in a flash-what they should really be saying is 'do I want DC and teenager with a life of their own ,which will mean that I can't do what I like, when I like'?
If they don't want 10yrs or so of ferrying around-think seriously!

I feel really sorry for your nephew. The excuses you are giving basically mean he is being penalized for having younger siblings!

It is part of being a parent. I think it is very healthy for children to enjoy sports and club outside for school. Clubs of their choice. Of course it is not always possible for financial reasons, but if it is then they should be encouraged.

I sometimes don't know my arse from my elbow, running my kids all over the place, but I do it for 2 main reasons. Firstly, because my parents never would and I resented them for it! My children will always get support and encouragement from me. And secondly because like most parent I get much more pride and satisfaction from my childrens achievements than I did my own!

To deny a child of an interest they would love for the reasons you have given is IMO lazy parenting.

Too true exoticfruits 'I never understand people who don't want their DH to have hobbies outside the home and don't have any themselves' - after 10 years on Mumsnet I still have little sympathy for people who say that they can't make friends - its often becuase they have no outside interests or hobbies and just haven't had the experience of socialising with other people.

Taking your kids to sports/scouts/guides/etc etc is just the beginning of ensuring that they have lots of interests and get used to meeting other people (adults and children) - so many people lead isolated lives these days sat on FB/computer etc etc - getting out and about is essential in my opinion.

My DS does lots of activities and there is still plenty too much family time. I feel desperately sad for kids who don't get the same opportunities. Equally my DH and I have lots of hobbies, interests and friendship groups that we both together and separately.

To the OP - sorry if I missed this but is there a Dad in this situation who can get involved?

THis may seem a big problem just now, but as children grow older, they start to do more and more of their own stuff and family life evolves around everyones own interests.

If he is very keen AND good at footy, then I would definitely let him do it, and work family stuff around it. It is good for a child to have an interest and pursue it.

Both my DC's do sports which eat into the weekend. They love them and are good at them. DS does footy - training on Sat, matches Sun. But there is not a match every week, and very occasionally he misses them, for family reasons. We can still go out on Saturday and Sunday afternoons / evenings and in the holidays.

Exotic I think that is nonsense. To talk about personal statements when your child is Seven!

I didn't mention 7yrs! I don't think they will be in the least interested in what the parent decided the DC ought to do!
I said 12 yrs, and they will be interested in what the DC decided to do for themselves in the way of interests.
However most under 13 teams have been playing together from under 6 teams. Of course you can join later, but they are missing out, sad if it was just because you wanted time to yourself. (it doesn't take that long-especially if you lift share). Mine played from under6 to under 17yrs but the youngest only did to under 9yrs-his choice, we would have carried on had he wanted. He did however go onto other things, with almost as much ferrying around.
I never understand people who don't want their DH to have hobbies outside the home and don't have any themselves.

Dd is 6 and currently goes to Ballet, Tap and Swimming. I purposely chose classes that took place after school as I didn't want our weekends taken up.

We have a caravan on the coast that we go to most weekends throughout the spring/summer. If she had weekend classes we wouldn't be able to to this. We also have 2 sets of elderly/unwell grandparents that we see regularly at weekends, one set 2 hrs away, one 6 hrs away. Again a Saturday club would jepordise this.

DDs wants are important, but not to the detriment of the rest of the family.

However, she's 6. IF she gets better as she gets older, IF she still enjoys it and IF she wants extra classes then we will rethink (she recently asked if she could join the modern dance class as well, but I said no).

I think asking a 6 yr old to commit to such a busy football schedule is a bit much and maybe SIL should see if there is a compromise to be had.

I think this requirement for 4 sessions of football per week for a 6/7 year old is ridiculous and unnecessary, it eats up too much of the child's time, too much of the family's time. That's why my DS (age 6) doesn't attend a football club.

He kicks a ball around in the park with us and his younger sister, and he has a tennis lesson for an hour a week, and a half hour swim lesson.

The rest of his time is unstructured sport/swimming/playing. But I'm not prepared to subject him, or us, to the obligation that these football clubs, for young kids, seem to demand. And I think spending that much time in such structured activity/classes, being told what to do and when to do it, is actually harmful for young children - they need to fill up their time and motivate themselves.

If he wants to swim/play tennis/play football in a club every day once he is ten, I'll support that as he's making the choice and taking on the commitment.

I'm afraid I take the view that makes me a good parent. Not a lazy one.

In fact, I tend toward the view that ferrying children around to classes at a very young age is more about the parents ticking a 'good parent' box that the child's interests.

Swan my point about farm trips was an example of where other dc's have their time. It was suggested one dc playing football meant the others missed out.

The farm is dd's favourite thing to do and as a result we go a few times a month. The train rides are ds3's current 'thing', his elder brothers come along because it means a lot to him having them there. similar to ds2 enjoying his siblings watching him play football.

These could be classed as hobbies.

What's wrong with a 3 year old doing things at the weekend? It may not be a regular club but its an activity he enjoys regularly with his family.

So it's wrong to encourage an older child to play a sport incase younger ones are bored but also wrong for those younger children to enjoy a regular activity?

Sorry but if he is 7 now and really wants to play youth football he does need to get into a team now, Next season he will be playing under 8's so only 2 years before he will be playing 11 aside with offside rules ect.

Plus he wants to play now not when he is old enough to take himself.