This is my first post and please forgive me if someone has already asked the same thing... and if I ramble on too much.
My OH goes out early in the morning to commute by train to work (about an hour and a quarter before I go to work) and gets back around the same time as me in the evenings. He also runs a small business from home which takes about an hour of his time every evening - that's his estimation BTW. He has a couple of hobbies - in the football season he is out all Saturday pm and on Sunday mornings. His other hobby involves one or two evenings out a week from 7-11.30pm. He is also involved in running a team for hobby No. 2 - sorry not to name this hobby, but I am concerned it will make him easily identifiable if anyone we know is a member here! - and some admin activity for a club he used to chair. I go to college one evening a week and sing in choir another evening. Every 8 weeks or so, we have a concert which will usually be in the evening on a weekend.
I get up before him in the mornings and get his breakfast & lunch together then he grabs his stuff and goes out. I do all the cleaning, all the food shopping and cooking (I quite like shopping and enjoy cooking0, all the laundry (apart from ironing - he pays someone to iron his stuff), 90% of the pet feeding and clearing up after. I empty the bins and put the recycling and rubbish out. He mows the grass and I do all the other gardening. When it comes to ad hoc tasks, I often find I end up doing them because I would have to wait months to get things fixed/a shelf put up, etc or get accused of nagging. When I ask my OH to do things like empty the bins around the house or put used crockery in the dishwasher, 99% of the time he forgets I have asked. The other 1% he rolls his eyes if he doesn't think what I am asking is necessary or puts it off for as long as possible - sometimes on the pretext he is too busy.
We have different attitudes to housework - he says I am a neat freak and the place doesn't need cleaning as often as I want it done - which is only once a week and we have a long-haired dog and a cat! For him, there is no need to have a routine, you just do things when they need doing.......
AIBU asking him to do more around the house? I feel as if I have relatively little time to myself and that it's not fair of him to say he's too busy and I have more time in which to do these things when his time is taken up with his hobbies!
Please advise.... We have so many rows about this and I am really resentful of this, IMO, inequality.