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AIBU?

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Original poster

to hate being told how thin I am?

55 replies

blue2711 · 21/03/2011 11:30

It happens all the time and it's getting to me. I am really tiny but it's just the way I am. I'm only 5ft 1 so I'm pretty in proportion. I've always been very slim but I know since I had DS, who's 18 months, I'm even smaller than ever. My DH and close friends tell me I look lovely but acquaintances - particularly if they've not seen me for a while - often exclaim about how thin I am and I feel awful, really self-conscious and insulted. One woman the other day said 'Just look at your thin face!'

Surely this is just downright rude? I would never ever comment on how fat someone has got. What should I do or say to show people that they are hurting my feelings? Usually I just try not to react and change the subject but then their comments replay in my mind afterwards and make me feel dreadful.

Am I being over-sensitive? And does it really look that dreadful to be really slim? The media seems to be full of praise for 'real women' who have curves, but just because I haven't really got any I'm still a real woman! Anyone feel the same way?

OP posts:
Claz1001 · 21/03/2011 11:37

YANBU. It is indeed rude! I've had the same problem for most of my life, although since having my dc2 I'm a bit bigger but still slim. As a teenager and throughout my 20s I used to desperately try to put weight on by eating myself silly but it never worked. Some people are just naturally slim. I know see it as a great thing, being able to eat what I like, but when you struggle to put on weight yet lose it really easily (and unintentionally) it can be just as tough as the other way around. As it seems to be quite rare most people don't understand it, I guess.

GetOrfMoiLand · 21/03/2011 11:36

My BIL said I looked too thin at the weeekend - I haven't seen him for about 2 months. I have lost about a stone recently but certainly don't think I am too thin - feel great, actually.

He told DP 'I prefer her with a bit more meat on her Hmm'

I was pissed off because he said to dd 'your mother is looking too thin, she looks like she has got anorexia' which made DD worry, and she asked me if I had an eating disorder. I was eating a great big plate of nachos at the time.

GeekCool · 21/03/2011 11:35

I've been told I'm 'too thin' by others, when at my own personal happy size. Which is a size 10. I'm 5 feet 7 and a size 10 for me is 10-10.5 stone, so not exactly light.

I agree that it can be rude to say things like that to someone, I think some people will see it as socially acceptable though.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 21/03/2011 11:33

DD was told she looked frail the other day. I was furious because it was the school nurse.
OP, do you think the commenters may be jealous? I am the build of Robbie Coltrane so I don't know where DD gets her frailty from.

Chil1234 · 21/03/2011 11:32

YANBU to be offended at personal remarks but is there any merit in what they are saying? 'Naturally thin' is one thing but 'chronically underweight' can be dangerous. Do you eat adequately? Have you lost more than 14lbs in the last 6 months? Are you in good health physically with regular menstrual cycles... or are you falling prey to viruses?

It is OK to tell people. 'That hurts my feelings and I'd prefer it if you didn't make personal comments'. But do think if there is any basis for their concern.