to hate being told how thin I am?

I had this for a while last year - turns out I was ill I was also very grumpy at time and acted out sorts but no one said

Yes it is rude - I kept thinking to myself, you should see how much I eat all day, it was getting on for 4000 calories in the end, and I was gaunt.

I had no idea at all I was ill...until I was rushed to A&E

YANBU. I get it all the time and it makes me feel quite uncomfortable at times. It also makes me cross when people imply that I am trying to lose weight when anyone with any sense would see that this could indicate illness.

People who know me well know why I am currently slimmer than my usual slim self. Others shouldn't really comment.

I hate feeling I need to justify myself to people who really don't know me very well.

It's probably just a case of being more busy/stressed with a baby than previously and if you're B/F or similar, that also eats up a lot of energy. Thinner people tend to overestimate the amount of food they eat or they fill up on too much low-calorie food like salads and fruit. It could be worth keeping an accurate food diary for a while and calorie-counting it, just to judge if you are undereating. Weight-gain programmes usually start at about 2500 cals/day in a 'little and often' pattern (meal or snack every 2 hours), selecting calorie-rich, low-bulk foods.... nuts and nut butters, avocados, oils/fats, red meats, eggs, grains etc.

"Look at your thin face"????! RUDE!

Your BMI is 18.5 which is borderline for clinically underweight and well below the 'normal' range of BMI 20 - 25. The BMI number itself is not as important, however, as the history leading up to it. You said at the start that you've lost a lot of weight in the 18 months since having your baby. Unintentional weight-loss is always worth checking out. If it's because you're not eating enough, for example, or that your diet is poor or irregular then you could have nutritional issues.... not apparent immediately, but over time. Some medical conditions make themselves known through weight-loss.... diabetes, for example, and the thyroid condition mentioned earlier.

If you'd always been 7st and in top condition it might not be a problem, but since you've lost weight and are having difficulty regaining it, it could be worth talking to your GP>

people shouldn't impose their weird distorted perceptions of body size and shape on others, somehow it's not ok to talk about needing/wanting to lose weight unless you are actually morbidly obese even if you could perfectly safely lose a couple of stone

I think there is a difference in commenting on someone's weight in a positive way versus a negative way. I.e. if someone had told OP 'I'd kill to have a waist that small', this is very different to the eating disorder comments.

However, I do agree that if a lot of people are commenting then you may need to make sure that you are feeling healthy and that you are within an acceptable weight range. It is not healthy to be tto thin - and it apparently does age you!

YANBU. It is only after having two children that I've filled out a little and don't look super skinny. In my teenage years I used to really hate how thin I was because of the comments but there was nothing I could do about it. I was eating as much as I could but stayed thin. When I got to my early twenties I realised that much of the comments is down to jealousy from fatsos so embraced it!

I have recently lost a stone in weight, which has brought me down to a size 10-12 (I used to be a good size 12), so I'm hardly skinny. An acquaintance told me last week that I was looking 'like a lollipop'.

My BMI is about 23. I would imagine her BMI to eb about 33. Of course, I had more manners than to point this out to her.

My Dad says I;m too thin. I'm 5"4 and 8 stone so a size 6-8 through regular exercise but I eat a lot to make up for that.

I HATE the 'real women' things, it's horrible, I don't think that becasue I'm under at size 12 I don't count as real.

YANBU - I don't understand (as others have said) why it's generally seen as rude to comment on somebody being overweight, but if you're underweight it's fine to be called 'skinny' etc (it's not!)

I might have been thinking of horses and dogs when I assumed it was healthier to be a bit leaner rather than sport extra podge (mild despair at own podge).

Blue - have you had your thyroid checked? \just a thought as my slim friend had this happen and it was noticeable for people to comment - turns out her thyroid was buggered....

But yes it is rude - people think it is ok to comment on thinness but wouldn't dream of telling someone they had put on weight

Yes it's rude, it's not nice to your appearance commented on in a negative way at all, especially if it's something that you don't have control over

but ask anyone who isn't thin and they think the media is full on against 'larger women' that is anyone over a giantly massive size 12

Saying that it's difficult for many people to see people who are very tiny to see it as something that happens out of their control as it's a very unusualy thing to occur

I get told this all the time, OP. I'm 5'6" and 8st9 - a healthy size 8-10. It's just the way I am - I eat like a horse and I've never put on a pound. We're just lucky, think of it that way. Although I envy my friends' boobs and hips!
I've been accused in the past of being anorexic! To which they got told to piss off, I eat three times what they do.
Take joy in eating chips when everyone else is avoiding carbs like the plague :)
What's annoying me now is that I'm 19wks pg, is everyone saying that I look like a python (I've got a nice neat little bump, and I'm not putting on weight elsewhere) and that I shouldn't be scared of putting weight on - I'm really not - and that the baby will be underweight if I am (I'm not underweight, I always thought putting on too much weight was a bad thing when you're pg, and the baby's measuring 22wks already - huge babies in my family!)
Chin up. Tell them to get stuffed. As long as you feel you're healthy, you are. They're just jealous.

"it is surely worse for your health to be a bit over rather than under weight?"

Actually, it isn't. Being slightly overweight, ironically, means you are likely to be healthy and more resilient. Being clinically underweight - BMI below 18.5 - can be quite dangerous by contrast, because if you lose a few pounds due to illness you have no reserves. There is a difference between 'naturally thin' and 'chronically underweight', as I mentioned earlier but if people are actually shocked enough at the OP's new appearance to mention it, it could be that she has slipped from one to the other.

a couple of years ago at a party, a random woman i'd never met before that night told me "you're very nice, for a thin person". suspect she'd have been appalled if i'd replied, "and you're very nice too, for a fat person"

People don't seem to think that commenting on you being thin is offensive, but they would think twice about commenting if you'd put on weight. Part of it might be surprise as we are expected to struggle to lose weight after pregnancy, part of it might be a tiny bit of jealousy. Either way, your weight has nothing to do with how much of a 'real woman' you are! I lost weight when I split up with my ex and a colleague called me 'scrawny' although I was still 9 1/2 stone (don't ask what I am now!) if someone comments using that sort of word just smile and say " I prefer the word 'slender' myself"

people (friends I mean) never say 'you're piling on the pounds, steady on, don't want to end up obese/diabetic whatever' but they feel much more comfortable commenting on weight loss, even though it is surely worse for your health to be a bit over rather than under weight?

now, not know!