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AIBU?

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Original poster

for being so devastated about losing this friendship?

36 replies

superv1xen · 30/01/2011 11:40

i posted in relationships a few days ago re the actual falling out, so i won't go into all the ins and outs. but basically my best friend has fallen out with me, she won't speak to me, i have tried to text her, call, send facebook messages to try and sort things out but she won't respond :(

and i am heartbroken. i have barely stopped crying for about three days now.

i feel pathetic, i feel like its juvenile how i am feeling, that i shouldnt be letting it affect me so much. but it is. it feels as bad (in a different way) to when i have had relationships end (ie with men)

she isn't my only friend but i don't have that many to be honest, and she was the one i saw the most, and the one i could fully be myself with. my DS is also best friends with her DD and he keeps asking when he is going to see her next and its breaking my heart.

i get married this saturday and i am so devastated over all this that i am not even excited about it. because i havent got my best friend to share it with.

tell me to get a grip, this can't be normal surely?

OP posts:
manicbmc · 30/01/2011 12:27

What LadyThumb said. Just be there for the fallout.

ajandjjmum · 30/01/2011 12:23

I think Quintessential is right - try and put it to one side, and concentrate on your wedding and your family.

I noticed that your friends works. Can you contact her through work after your wedding, and see if you can't maintain some sort of contact in that way?

LadyThumb · 30/01/2011 12:21

I had a boyfriend who did this to me - he isolated me from my friends, my work, my Mum. But, I couldn't see it at the time as it was gradual. In the end I had to leave my house and my job to get away from him.

Your friend is in the 'denial stage' - just try to be there for her when she finally realises. You have no idea what he has threatened her with if she tries to escape.

trixie123 · 30/01/2011 12:15

I lost a friend I had known all my life when I split up with my ex (she felt I behaved v badly and sided with him). We were still not friends all the time she was pregnant and for the first 18 months of her DD life but she got back in touch and now we are very close. It is a shame that this has happened but it is possible that you will resolve it. DO try not to let it spoil your wedding, which is not about her and you.

QuintessentialShadows · 30/01/2011 12:12

Put this friendship in a locked container for now. Focus on your man, your wedding and your marriage.

Your friend will realize what she has lost, and your falling out may even in time give her the right perspective to move on.

prettyfly1 · 30/01/2011 12:07

Oh I am sorry. I fell out with my best friend over something similiar. We went out last night for the first time in two years after I contacted her in december and it was like no time had passed. The pain of not being with your best friend, who is closer to you then anyone in many ways and knows you like noone else does is sooooo awful and in many ways like a break up, so you need to go through the same process, but try and leave it till after your wedding, which is a happy day.

Friendship like yours doesnt die but it does go through changes and difficulties like all close relationships - give it time and you may well resolve it.

bubblewrapped · 30/01/2011 11:55

Ah, I did read that one.

Your friend is probably feeling like shit too, but in no position to be able to do much about it until she manages to get rid of the control freak who she is with.

Please dont let it ruin your wedding day, because that really isnt fair at all your husband, or yourself.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 30/01/2011 11:51

here

and Blush I have read your other thread. I posted on it. Blush

There's nothing you can do. She's made her choice and it's Fuckwit Bastardpants.

You cannot let this ruin your wedding day.

bubblewrapped · 30/01/2011 11:49

is there a link to the original thread. that would help to make a balanced comment..

HecateQueenOfWitches · 30/01/2011 11:48

Haven't read your other thread so have no idea what the falling out is about.

But.

You are getting married. Focus on that. Surely marrying the man you love is more important than this falling out (and a reason to be happy) ? Can't you tell yourself this?

You are getting married. Don't let a falling out with a mate ruin this for you.

taintedpaint · 30/01/2011 11:42

I'm not sure if this is going to help you, but I'd be feeling the same as you. Horrible situation.

Was she due to be involved with the wedding?

YANBU. Not at all.