...to want to never, ever see my step-daughter again as long as I live?

im sorry but shes 11, how can u get off calling her awful

'She is cold, unkind and humourless' She is 11 years old and has to put with you, whom this description fits perfectly btw, how the fuck do you expect her to act around somone who quite clearly dislikes her ?

You sound very bitter. I hope that if my DH and me ever split he would be the same.

"So instead of having a family of my own"

You HAVE a family of your own as you have 2 daughters.

'love him, not his children.' leave him then, for the sake of his children. I have two friends who have both been very damaged by having step mothers like you.

how old are the children

tbh if anyone told me they didnt like my kids, their arses would hit the door on the way out

It is your dp who is at fault not his dd.

Digs out barbecue and marshmallows, a light toasting should suffice

Heats pan for popcorn

'Should you split up with someone you love because you don't like their children?'

Err yes, because parents should put their children FIRST! They don't have a choice in who is their father - but you have a choice about what man you want to be with.

Does your DP know how you feel about his kids? If he does I am surprised he hasn't given you your walking papers already!

"Should you split up with someone you love because you don't like their children?"

If it's so bad that you never, ever want to see her again as long as you live, then yes, I think you probably should split up with him. Easier all round.

has the step-daughter done something particularly horrible?

If they're a package, YES. There's no way around it imo.

And if you want children of your own and he doesn't want any more, then he is still very much seeing himself in his old family situation and has not mentally become part of You And Him with a future together. Do not stay with him in hopes of changing his mind some day, while your biological clock is ticking.

Wishing he was different, wishing his DCs away, wishing he would change his mind and wanting something fundamental that he does not want are very corrosive to a relationship.

He is not available to you as a family man prospect because he is still completely immersed in his first family.

Sorry but you should not be together. You need to accept his children. If you want your own kids and he does not want anymore, then find someone who does.

"Should you split up with someone you love because you don't like their children?"

Well what is the other alternative? He isn't going to stop seeing or loving them, so either you put up with them, learn to like them or leave him.

1. Why dont you like her? It does make a difference on whether YABU or not! A axe weilding maniac for a SD would not be popular anywhere!

2. If you dont like having step children then why did you get with a man who has his own kids?

3. Why are you saying that instead of having your own DC you have to put up with them? He wouldnt (or shouldnt) just drop them if you got pg, they would still be in your life if you had 10 babies with him!

4. Why did you post on AIBU because, assuming you are a regular, you must know that you will get a right pasting?

5. Why is he still with you if you hate his kids so much and presumably have made no secret of it?

My knee jerk reaction to this is to finish your relationship and give him and his kids a chance to find someone nice!

you sound so callous!

The man you love comes with children, they are part of the package, and if you can't accept them both then don't be with him.

You don't have to be best friends with your SD, just try and be polite and respectful and include her.

If you want children with this man, and he doesn't want more children, again you should probably split up. It's a big deal. If you are desperate for your own children, then find a man who can give you them. Don't rely on your boyfriend changing his mind.

how old are your DC and how old are his?

i think it would be a huge mistake to try to blend your families and have more hcildren when can't stand his daughter?

you knew he had hcildren when you met him, so you can hardly expect him to pretend they don't exist now

"Should you split up with someone you love because you don't like their children?"

If you love him, how can you not love his children?

Oh, of course YANBU. It's incredibly selfish of the child to have had the bad manners to be born. How very fucking dare she If you want children and your partner doesn't, get a new partner. And if you hate his 'awful' children, you really do need to be out of their lives.

Good on him for saying it!

Find someone who does want children with you.

Disagreeing on whether to have kids or not is a deal breaker for many people. From what you've said it sounds like this will be a big challenge and starting again in a different relationship might well be the best thing for all of you. Think about it carefully.

Can't even understand the post. Could you possibly punctuate it?