for feeling smug when mothers of school-agers describe themselves as "Full-time mums" or "Housewives"?

YABU. I've done both WOHM and SAHM. I don't get the feelings of smugness. Everyone is an individual its up to them how they choose to live their life. I was a SAHM for a shortwhile with one child in school and I hated it, it was actually quite depressing. However I have friends who are SAHMS with school-age children and they love it but then they have the finances to join the tennis club and lunch etc and are happy to live that lifestyle.

You sound as if you are "perfect" and I expect you feel smug about lots of things. I'm far from perfect and whether I am a WOHM or a SAHM I could never live up to your standards.

Bravo to GetOrf.

People should concentrate on their own family and happiness.

I admire SAHMs.. I go to work for a break.

Lets see how easy you find it once you've got a job

who will look after your kids in the holidays?

Yes YABU and I say that as a full time working mum of two, who also keeps house fairly well. How dare you presume to be better then others for anything at all. We all have a right to our individual choices and the options that work for us and our family without the predjudice, judgement, ignorance and relentless competitiveness some women feel is appropriate. Can I suggest you get back to work as soon as possible, in order to provide you with something considerably more important to consider then the lives and choices of other mums. Sheesh.

Mumsnet is full of wankers at the moment.

A wanker on another thread was all Mrs Smug of Smuggsville earlier saying 'I look after your children when they are ill because you are all working bitches'

Wanker working mums slagging off people who stay at home.

Who gives a shit really? Do what you bloody well like.

actually just thinking about it. my mum and dad work full time and have done through-out their lives. i guarantee neither of them feels smug about slogging their guts out for soemone else just to put food on the table. tehy would far rather have been able to come and see our school plays or collect us from school, spend holidays with us, actually get to know us as people rather than jsut mouths that needed fed every evening before going to bed. and i sure as hell wish they could have done all that too.

I would love to work. I tried it once mine got to school, sadly tho, due to two having immune deficiancies and me having had a stroke, working is just not possible anymore, so I feel all smug and warm knowing that I am not having to rush and stress and further my career to make me feel as tho I have a purpose in life.

I have a purpose.....staying as stressed free and relaxed and healthy as possible for my children, and knowing that if they are ill, I am able to let them be ill and stay home, rather than sending them to school to share the bugs while I have to go and please my boss!!

would much rather please my children.

so there!

Not at all smug, but I do sometimes think that couldn't be my life. More than happy to let others have it if it suits them though AND I think you'll find actually that it can be harder to work when the DC are at school. Pre-school you can make their arrangements for them, once they're at school you have to fit around their social life, or accept that they won't have one.

I knew it was time to go back in to work the day I stood dithering in the supermarket deciding what colour washing-up liquid to buy. I actually believed (briefly) that it mattered! So yes I do wonder what fills the hours the DC are at school, but IMO being there where they come out of school is just as "meaningful" at being at home when they're tiny.

Well, I'm just jealous as I would love to stay at home and look after my family.

I slightly see your point, in that I work full time but still manage to cook decent meals from scratch every night, shop, clean, iron, whatever and sometimes wonder what I would do all day if I didn't go to work. On the other hand, I would probably be less knackered, less moody and stressed and look better and my family would therefore be happier.

I still think it's got to be better (or would be in an ideal world) for a family if one parent is at home to be there for the children when they get home from school.

I have my hard hat on, though!

Guess what op... I left my very good job a week before I got married!!! Shock, horror! I've been a kept woman for the whole of my married life.

I'm happy, dh is happy, my boys are happy.

You feel as smug as you like. I'll think of you next time I take a holiday at the drop of a hat because I'm not constrained by an employer.

I don't think doing the shopping is a replacement for a career. I don't need a career replacement thanks. If work is your main purpose in life then I actually feel quite sorry for you.

My youngest is still just 9 months (I have a 2yo too.) I will probably look for part time work once she is in school, but I may choose not to so that I can take my children to school, pick them up again, and have some quality time before it's time for them to go to bed.

Your post is offensive, and to think yourself better than SAHP's because you want to work makes me very

do you have the sort of career that allows you to pick up and drop it? Because many many people find that, having taken a break from their career, they cannot return.

I worked in IT. The software's moved on so much that I would be unable to move back into my career. My sills are obsolete. SO yes, could start a whole new career at 45 competing against a glut of recent graduates and school leavers for minimum wage job. I could then spend my entire salary on wrap around care. Then when I get home, my house would probably be cean as no one is ever here. I would use up all my annual leave doing exciting things like covering half term, or dealing with sick children. Or school plays.

I have done both - I gave up work after No 3. My life's far richer now I have connection with the people and place where I live. I knew no-one when I worked full time.

There are just so many jobs out there which let you start after you've dropped the children at school, And let you finish in a timely fashion for picking them up again.

And of course everyone knows how understanding the management are about you being off when the children are sick etc.

What with all the free childcare during school holidays as well!

Can't think why I won't (be able) to return to work when the youngest goes to school.

YABU and a twat.

Yes YABU

NEXT!

Well this is clearly designed to be an argumentative post, so i'm not sure if i should bother taking the bait!

it does secretly annoy me no end when someone proudly states "I'm a mum" when you ask what they do - I'm a mum too. I just happen to work outside the home for part of the week. Doesn't mean to say I'm less of a mum than the person I'm speaking to

You spoiling for a fight then? Sheesh.

IMHO you are BU. Each to their own though. I would prefer to be a SAHM or to at least work less hours. My job is OK I just don't see it as my 'purpose' in life and if I could afford it I would stop working. Who wouldn't?

And for what it's worth staying at home with the kids all day is bloody hard work IME. You are raising a child - that's quite a purpose.

at BOF.

You feel smug because you're planning on not being a housewife once your children are all at school? Your life must be remarkably empty. No wonder you're looking forward to getting a job.

My kids are at school all day, and DP can work from home when he likes. I have an awful lot of sex. I do feel quite smug about that.

Booyhoo & Go, say it all!
Brilliantly put,Go.