for feeling smug when mothers of school-agers describe themselves as "Full-time mums" or "Housewives"?

Im a SAHM with no pre-schoolers (apart from my brothers kids who i look after twice a week)and I absolutely love it. No ridiculously early mornings - no rushing about like a blue arsed fly trying to fit everything in. If my kids are ill I'm there, if they have something special on at school I'm there. I'm truly never bored.

My HB is self-employed and brings more than enough in for me to SAH. I don't get anything from the state. I've helped build my husbands business up - and do his books, etc but other than that I'm Lady Muck and loving it. I've done night shifts, early mornings, long shifts - I've done leaving the house in the dark mornings to get to work in the depths of winter. I know which life I prefer.

Not sure why you feel superior to be honest. I've never understood the argument between working mums and SAHMs, if you are happy with your set up why do you care what other mums choose to do? live and let live and all that - Merry Christmas

Here's a question for you, Careeringalong.

If you had more money than you could possibly hope to spend, and therefore could spend that 6 hours a day fulfilling whatever leisure activities your heart desired, and outsource all the bits you didn't like (perhaps cleaning, or ironing, or whatever - hell, you might like the ironed look if someone else was doing it!) - would you still work?

Or would you do different work to what you are likely to do?

Well I have a preschooler and I've been back at work since she was 7 months old, no waitng around for her to start school. I have way more reason to be smug than the OP.

Seriously love, get over yourself.

Isn't it sad that as women we still can't make our own choices about deciding to work or stay at home without somebody looking down on that choice, be it to work (selfish) or not (lazy).

I'd quite like to know what jobs the OP thinks we ought to be doing once our children are at school? How many magic jobs are there that fit around school drop off and pick up times? Anybody who has ever used childcare knows there are never enough childminder spaces to go around for wraparound care and even if you do manage to find reliable wraparound care then is often wipes out any extra money you make once you have factored in any loss of tax credits, and commuting costs.

"working bitches"!i love that.Yo in da hood as dem working bitches they are Taxed to the max

Those of us who work also manage to be relaxed, healthy and stress free, and our children do just fine, thanks, with both parents working. In fact, the majority of families in the UK now have both parents working.

at SM's precious moments mamas.

It aint a WOHM/SAHM mumsnet row without the precious moments mamas.

but the thing is op children are for life not just the first five years.

What is it with the idea that once the c are in school life starts again?

Anyway you sound like a mug from your post, since you phrase it in a way that suggests that you were responsible for the tidiness of your house and home cooked meals despite working long hours.

Well, personally I feel really smug when my WOHM friends tell me how tired they are, after a lovely day of sitting on my arse watching the telly.

I do all the things you do, but I have extra time to do things just for me too.

Actually I don't feel smug at all. I'm content with my choices; I hope others are content with theirs. Smuggery is for twats.

Not read all of this!

But you'll be wanting lots of 'homemakers' if your own DC enter the workforce at a time of high unemployment.

I know of 3 very well qualified young graduates praying that some new mum won't return after their maternity leave.

I don't feel smug, no. If they're happy then I guess that's enough for me.

But to be honest the smugness shown on this thread towards working women is equally unattractive.

There seems to eb a consensus that women who work are complete mugs who would be better off dog walking and reading.

It's a good job not every woman MP, surgeon, film director, social worker, police officer, farmer, teacher feels their work is pointless. Or we'd all be truly fucked.

Well I'm a SAHM with 2 dc in school and feel no need to justify it to anyone ( though could if I had to). Some working mums at school do make veiled (ish) comments sometimes but I think it says more about them than me. Ah well.

Presumably you will use your college aged child as childcare
lucky you

I feel smug about very little. To be honest I think most of us work as hard as we can to do the best we can for ourselves and our family.

Actually, I am smug about one thing. I make better curries than EVERYBODY on this thread.

So you and dh are teachers?

CareeringAlong you could still let us know whether you consider all careers to be superior or just some :)

i dont actually care what anyone else does,as I know what I do works for my family

it really is a case do what suits you,and be aware no one will approve anyhoo

for every housewife there will be a detractor,tutting they dont have owt deeper than fluff and fold to occupy them as their brain mass diminishes

for every working mum a precious moment mama will snort at least they dont leave the widdle ones with feral daycare staff.or miss precious widdle moments.or feeding duckies

So if you have a teenager, then presumably you've been at home the entire time. Therefore you know exactly what it's like being a SAHM. I'd love a career like the one you're planning to have. You know, the one that runs from 9.30 to 3 pm, 5 days a week. Except for 2 weeks at Christmas. And 2 weeks at Easter. And 6 weeks in the summer. Oh and 3 other weeks. Oh and of course all the days that your children are off school for sickness/teacher training etc. Please can you tell me where you've found this fabulous career that you can do "while your children are being educated"?

I suspect that if I knew you in RL I'd hate you and that big, big chip you have on your shoulder.

Anyway, must dash, as I have to file my nails and watch repeats of Jeremy Kyle.

"I have a purpose.....staying as stressed free and relaxed and healthy as possible for my children, and knowing that if they are ill, I am able to let them be ill and stay home, rather than sending them to school to share the bugs while I have to go and please my boss!!

would much rather please my children."

psycho has it nailed.

Erm, anyone?

I dont think you have anything to be smug about, really. You dont actually work at the moment, and you are home with kids. You are basically saying that you plan on going back to work and dont really understand those that dont.

That's fine - most people make the decisions they make because they see the good in that decision over the alternatives.

Those who stay at home undoubtedly see the good in staying at home over that of getting a job, and have made that alternative decision.

You dont need to wonder what they do all day, because its none of your business! But dont assume they dont do "anything" or that everything is house/cleaning/child related.

There are umpteen ways you can kill off 6 hours in a day that dont involve making money for someone else. If you dont know what they are, its not surprising its getting a job that you turn to. And that's fine.

I do think its a harsh post OP, but I can relate to your thinking - purely because I'm a WOHM. This is partly through choice and partly due to being a lone parent.

I do manage to fit everything in - BUT have started DS off on school dinners as time cooking a nutitious meal was time I could spend with him or mn. He does swim 2 evenings so does get clubs.

I often dream of being able not to work - but then I'm doing my degree to get a better job .

Its just one of lifes little mysteries - I wonder how SAHM don't get bored and other people wonder how I fit everything in.

YABU to post about it smuggly tho as everyones choice is personal.