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AIBU?

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Original poster

for feeling smug when mothers of school-agers describe themselves as "Full-time mums" or "Housewives"?

794 replies

CareeringAlong · 29/11/2010 16:22

Name change...

Following from the threads about life at home when you don't do voluntary of paid work, although your children are of school-age, I was wondering if anyone else who does work can't help feeling a tad superior? Oh yes, I know I'll be flamed for this, but there it is.

These housewives seem to do all the things that working mothers do (cooking, cleaning, planning etc, etc, etc) but don't have any purpose outside of this. They seem to think that doing the supermarket shopping is a reasonable replacement for a 'real' career. I can't help but feel prejudiced against them.

I'm currently a SAHM as DD is pre-school, but will do paid (and voluntary) work as soon as she's in school. I'm looking forward to building-up my career again and working for the family.

Oh, and before anyone jumps on this, I've always cooked decent-quality meals from scratch, even when I worked v. long hours; my dogs are walked in the early hours; and my house is always clean and tidy. I argue that ironing is for losers, however!

OK. Hard hat on!

OP posts:
marantha · 29/11/2010 17:38

Having an EXTRA child could make a great deal of difference. It might not but then again it might. Point is this; she won't actually know how she'll feel until she gets there.

Original poster
CareeringAlong · 29/11/2010 17:37

Sorry, I mis-read.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 29/11/2010 17:37

i took a work call in recovery!answered diligently and then told em to not disturb me again

marantha · 29/11/2010 17:36

that's a very good point, carrotsandpeas, how can a person feel smug about something which hasn't happened yet? Confused
For all the opening poster knows, the extra strain of working with a child will be something she hates.
She simply does not know yet. Puzzling.

Original poster
CareeringAlong · 29/11/2010 17:36

No, why do you think DS was 5 weeks old? He was school age.

OP posts:
psychomum5 · 29/11/2010 17:34

so after your first DC, you waited until he started school, then went to work, yes??

ok, I got you beat.....I went back to work when DD1 was just 5wks old.

ner....I am smugger than you!

LivinInThe80s · 29/11/2010 17:32

yawn Biscuit

scottishmummy · 29/11/2010 17:32

yes!so we have met...

GetOrfMoiLand · 29/11/2010 17:31

Summary of polarisation of these threads:

WOHM - selfish, unfeeling, unmaternal, money obsessed evil bitches.

SAHM - lazy, idle, stupid, unambitious cupcake baking ingrates

carrotsandpeasifyouplease · 29/11/2010 17:31

i dont feel smug i feel jealous - jealous that they are living an actual life without the daily grind of going of working for someone else, they are not reliant on their wage at the end of the month, they dont have to fit all the cleaning into saturday morning while missing time with ds, they can do what I would do if I didn't have to work - the fact is you dont even work so how can you feel smug for a possible scenario that might happen in the future?

scottishmummy · 29/11/2010 17:29

not antifemale at all to discuss this.no topics are no go areas least of all not whether of not housewife's fanny about all dayWink

seb1 · 29/11/2010 17:28

OP, here is 20p go and phone someone who cares about what you do with your life, I am quite happy with my mine Grin and feel no need to be smug.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 29/11/2010 17:27

Well i'm a rebel without a cause then, most mornings my friend drags me out for breakfast, in the PUB Shock

BeerTricksPotter · 29/11/2010 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
CareeringAlong · 29/11/2010 17:25

Certaintly not anti-female. Many on threads recently have said that they spend their days cooking and cleaning.

I have done it before - gone back to work when DC starts school.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 29/11/2010 17:25

i have a chilly chuff,is freezing today.need mair warmer simmits

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 29/11/2010 17:24

Yes, and what of it ?

LuvLee · 29/11/2010 17:24

No, OP, I don't feel smug at all. Why would I? I go from being stressed at work, to being stressed at home. When I think about it, I'm quietly envious at those Mum's that are able to spend quality time with their children.

Surely at the end of the day we're all trying to do the same thing: raise the next generation of good, honest, hardworking people.

Ormirian · 29/11/2010 17:24

I don't feel smug. I feel as if I have survived 13 years under direct fire. I feel frazzled, exhausted, dishraggy. But as we have pulled through in one piece I am quite pleased. Actually quite proud of myself. But would I have chosen this path? No. Yes, I'd have worked. Yes, I'd have had my children. But I'd have also had enough money throughout to pay someone to take some of the burden off me - someone else to clean, decorate the house, perhaps pick the DC up from school, do the ironing.

As it is I am still working, enjoying it, earning enough money to ensure we are comfortable, and I have 3 happy healthy DC. Why should I not be proud? That isn't the same as smug. No-one else is going to pat me on the back so I'm doing it!

snugglepops · 29/11/2010 17:23

I just loved the assumption you made about people that you do not know having no purpose outside cooking and cleaning. Ouch!

So very anti-female darling.

Hope your career is still there for you when you try jump back into the workforce, although you just might have left it too long by then... never mind.

nellieisstilltired · 29/11/2010 17:23

Actually whats really bad about this thread is that OP is smug about something she hasn't done yet and everyone else is getting irate over ops delusions.

Bear Bear Bear

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 29/11/2010 17:21

Isn't it someone elses employment that allows you to stay at home?

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 29/11/2010 17:20

Oh and I also picked the sausages out of a tin of beans and sausages, didn't grate the cheese tho, that came READY GRATED

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 29/11/2010 17:19

I can't help but feel prejudiced against judgemental smug santimonious people like you OP.

Figgyrolls · 29/11/2010 17:19

Do you know, I was listening to single girl in her 20's this weekend and laughing to myself - obviously she must be important if the boss sends her 35 emails before 9am. Must be, company can't possibly work without her. Hmm I would suggest that her boss is sending her the work whilst he is at home having fun with the wife!

I say this because I find it highly amusing now to see the self importance people with a job seem to accumulate. Unless you run your own company - you are just somebody elses money making machine. Well done you.

And then you have to run around after the family at the weekend.

Don't start on SAHM who have no pre-schoolers, school isn't that long a day and you will find you will still have to pay someone in the copious school holidays, days off etc etc which then begs the point as to whether or not it is actually worth going back to work if you have to pay so much in childcare. But that topic has been done to death too.

I'm bored now so might go off and walk the dog or perhaps do something immensely enriching with my dd.