for feeling smug when mothers of school-agers describe themselves as "Full-time mums" or "Housewives"?

What a shame that you feel that working is the only thing that will give you a purpose in life, and that people who SAH after their children are in school have no purpose. Basically that is bollocks.

Like psycho I have no choice and am unable to do paid work but love that I can be around for my dc after school and be involved in their school a lot. Purpose isn't something you can only find by having a 'job'. Look elsewhere.

I (have to) work part time and have a clingy 2yo. Yep I feel smug as buggery every morning when I drop her off somewhere and hear her sobbing as I get in the car. Puts a real spring in my step. If we have another or when dd goes to school I will have to give up work. My job is too far away and my new bosses are bastards. I can't bloody wait.

yes Figgyrolls! You get to feel guilty that you aren't devoting enough time to two things

definitely

Don't you think the ones who can be really smug are us part timers? I mean don't we have the best of both worlds?

busted!

JLC ![GRIN]

JLS- yes, that was what I meant.

For all your smugness OP, it is rather lovely to be well off enough to not have to work outside the home though isn't it?

I am jealous as hell of SAHM's and I don't even work full time, or need holiday childcare, and am still exhausted. The only thing that annoys me is if someone claims that being at home with no pre-schoolers is 'the hardest job in the world'. Fortunately, hardly anyone here has said that.

Why on earth can't mothers do what suits them and their families without feeling guilty?
I don't understand any of this thread at all. You just can't win can you?
Smugness is a nasty trait in anyone. Anyone who feels smug needs to get a life and grow up!

My two are only 3 and 2 - Im counting the days until they start school - i love them dearly but I'm really looking frorward to doing naff all! Might start studying, meet friends and family for long lunches, take up hobbies, spend more time with my pets, i keep threatening to start going to a gym but that sounds like too much hard work.

Dh doesnt earn a fantastic amount, but we dont hanker for expensive things either so it doesnt really matter.

I have every intention of becoming one of the women you state in the op and i cant bloody wait!

Except for going to the supermarket - Ocado delivery darling!

@JamieLeeCurtis

I can understand that - my wife does some volunteering as well and, being volunteering, there's no pressure from the boss, no worries about the DCs being sick, and no worries about care for the school holidays. And she is finding the volunteering that she does is incredibly rewarding.

I noticed your post scurryfunge - It strikes me that far from "having it all" some working mothers also have to "do it all", which is obviously unfair. Is that what you meant?

CareeringAlong - will you please give us some 'clue' about your wonderful profession and how 'easy' it will be to slot back into it whenever you choose - I wish you luck.

chocoholic - way to go.

Put down the op's smugness by er....being smug.

Thank God you are so superior to all those working women out there.

My youngest child is going to school next September so returning to work or not is on my mind.

I don't think I would feel smug about working if I was struggling with childcare, having to palm kids off during the school holidays when really they want to be home with me, ringing into work when kids are off school sick. Especially if you are planning a return to a real career and all that entails.

Are you sure returning to work is going to be the picnic you think it is? Have you got a fantastic childcare already sorted?

I assume the SAHMs feel their kids are getting a better upbringing and feel smug about that of course.

at typo

i meant sNug

i'm feeling really smug right now.

got the heating on, house is warm and toasty

Good for you what do you want a medal? or just approbation from strangers?

@scurryfunge

I can't tell if you're agreeing with me or not - when I get home from work, I spend time with the DCs, I help bath them, read stories, settle them into bed, make dinner and clear up. We do things together in the evening.

@whitethorn

nanny/cleaner?? Not sure whether or not you think that is what I want. If that is what you think, then no. In the same way as if I was at home and my wife was at work, I wouldn't be a male nanny/cleaner - I just think it's called being a team.

Why do you feel smug about the fact that I get to take and collect my DS from school, spend my time with him in the holidays and am not stressed if I have to stay here with him when he is poorly?
I also get to look after my home, my family, my dog! I also get to spend some of my time doing things for me, shopping, studying, meeting friends.

I wouldn't be swapping that for commuter hell, followed by a stressful day at work. Worrying about who looks after my DS when he is poorly, finding before and after school clubs, barely seeing him during the week, no time to take him to out of school activities or see his friends.

I've chosen to be a SAHM rather than put a career above the time I spend with my family. I'm not forced to do it.

If you want to feel smug about the fact that you work, fine, but please don't think I sit at home wishing I was you.

mrmister - sounds like you have the same setup as us. But my DSs are 10 and 7 now, and I am a bit bored at home - (I think if I did bake cakes etc it would be different), so now I am doing voluntary work with a view to getting a PT job. I feel lucky to have been in this situation up 'til now and it has been the best thing for all of us.

OP you do what's right for you, and the rest of us will attempt to do likewise.

CareeringAlong if this is truly your opinion, then you should have the courage of your convictions and not name change.

I have been a WOHM and a SAHM. Both experiences have had their good points and bad points. It's swings and roundabouts in that whatever you do, you will gain in some ways and lose out in others. In the end we all just try to do what we feel is best for our particular circumstances. There is no right or wrong way to live wrt this.

I do have to say though, that I find plenty to do during the day. A school day is honestly not that long tbh. I also think you should be careful with the smug attitude. As has been pointed out, you may not be able to waltz back into your careet when it suits. These thing do have a way of biting you on the arse.