for feeling smug when mothers of school-agers describe themselves as "Full-time mums" or "Housewives"?

PS: Jolly good luck with building up that career again after 4 years out, when both children are in school, it's so easy to find a job that fits in with childcare, after school activities, illness and holidays. With hubby drop everything from his mega minted job to go look after them? Or will it be you?

When you have done that Ms Smuggy Smugtons come back and have a chat with us and tell us all about it. We wait with baited breath to her all about it.

And one last thing, I bet the charity that gets you doing some voluntary work will be so thrilled to have such a sniffy smug snob making judgements all day long.

whoops forgot to say doors to manual

its me.aye honest tae god it is

Quattro - just because it is possible to work and have children, that doesn't mean it is the right thing for everyone. I didn't choose this life because I am lazy, I chose it because I think it is what works best for my family. I like what I do and I don't think it is less important than my previous paid employment.

When my youngest starts school, I will most definitely not be bored. I will have time to decorate my house, go to the gym, read books, learn French. I will get all the domestic stuff done, so that when my DC come home from school I can do nice things. The school day flies by and I can think of stacks of things to do during it.

I know my choices are not for everyone, but on the whole it works for me.

some people never mature and you see so much evidence of it the more you mature and experience all sorts that life has to offer us all. shame really as it only makes me feel for the children they are bringing into this world - that's why the human race never really improves. personally I envy those working mums and sahm who manage everything with ease.

enjoy feeling smug op. after all don't we all have our own smug moments whether working outside the home or not.

I think the OP is Sinitta.

Or Kate Middleton's mum's friend Marjery.

She is a div, whoever she is.

having an opinion isnt antiwoman,nor is op antiwomen.should we only be affirmative and puppies

mn is heaving with women disagreeing with each other,thats not necessarily antiwomen

Is the OP Samantha Cameron?

Has she said was he smuggington job is?

Does she pick them up from school every day as well as drop them off?

What does she do with them in the holidays/illness?

To the op, yes you are indeed being anti-women because the role that you are putting down is most often occupied by women.

Thefentiger makes a very valid point. If you were happy and fulfilled you would not come on here and put down other posters.

Oh Dear !
If you are happy and fulfilled in what you do why would you feel the need to put down others ?
I love my career -when I had DC I took a year off with each and returned to work on a very partime basis,DP looked after the DC whilst I was at work.I think there is a huge difference between "a job" and a career. I dont just go to work for money -Its exciting to feel I am progressing and my chosen career has lifelong learning at its centre
I loved being mostly at home when my DC were little but i didnt see it as a longterm thing-if others do -fine -totally up to you we are all different and get satisfaction doing different things.

if two individuals living off one wage and not drawing from benefits.if that woman never claims it is cost neutral to state eg no benefits paid.no cost borne.no state intervention.no need to means test or set a criteria

every adult who claims benefits incurs a cost to the state,eg benefits paid by state.they will therefore likely to have comply with govt benefit regs.and if the regs change they need to continue to meet criteria

if state pays financial benefits,it can and will set eligibility criteria.and as at moment set criteria and threshold for claiming benefits eg savings limit

one is a non state financial arrangement
the other is a state involved financial arrangement

and when public purse involved,public and politicians have opinions on how benefits are distributed and spent

I don't feel 'smug' but I also don't understand how SAHM's don't go nuts with boredom once their children are at school full time.

Having said that, it's their choice.

I would love to be a sahm, but as have previously said I work pt, which means actually I have no career prospects and I don't see my children/have time to myself so I have all the shit that goes with working plus all the childcare etc when not at work. Wehey! For us it is a financial choice - I can't afford a full time job but we can't afford for me not to work. I would love to say I was smug and sahm, but I am stuck working for someone else, etc etc etc. Obviously the sarcasm of my previous post didn't come out!

I know exactly what you mean Valium! Good luck with your course .

Well I sort of agree with the OP. Apologies and all that but I honestly can't see why women (or men) can't work and have children. I mean why can't they? It's honestly not impossible. If I can do it, anyone can.

So I sort of think a bit of laziness is coming into play. A little bit of laziness is good for the soul of course, but too much of it can be bad for one.

I suppose I have to caveat by saying that parents of SN children are exempted from my judginess. And disabled parents. And parents who've been either so abominably successful in their careers pre-children that they never have to work again. Or those with massive trust funds. Not forgetting of course those parents who have been diagnosed with clinical lazyitis and are henceforward exempted from ever having to do a day's work again.

I agree bunbaker. I did a good few years work before my first DD at age 30. I travelled to 8 different countries and lived and worked in several different ones and worked hard for my money, independance and education. I would be interested to know what job you are in OP to feel so smug about and about your life experiences that make you look down on the SAHM'

because you can kick people when they're down mindthegap. I have had people with everything grudge me a bit of one parent family allowance (as it's called where I live).

My children are at school now, and I'm doing a course, except that their schools are shut this week but my college isn't shut, so instantly a huge logistical problem!! it is hard fgs. NO WAY could i have started this course a moment earlier. And even though it's not ideal of course you can miss a day of college but when I have a job I will be so stressed. It had better not snow again ever after I get a job!!

don't even

I'd like to know why it is seen as ok for a woman in a couple to stay at home with the children and live off her partner's wages, but not ok for a single mum to stay at home and live off the state.

Well I'm a SAHM AND a Full Time working mum doing 55 hours per week min and I know what I'd prefer.......to be 100% SAHM and have more time for one to one time with my children but I have no choice. They are happy enough but I feel like I miss out (although with the work I do, they do gain a lot). I hate judgy people though, why dont' you worry about your own life and leave others to worry about theirs eh!!

As a long term single mum who has struggled with keeping a roof over our heads, pay the bills, juggle childcare..and all he rest!! I've had any ideas of a fullfilling career knocked out of me!! and I do not feel in the slightest bit smug over sahm's..quite honestly I would LOVE to be a SAHM..I know one SAHM mum, she loves her life..and good on her!

When my oldest was preschool age I used to go around telling everyone that i wanted to go back to work when the children were in school ( i have three younger ones as well) bu when she started school i realised that actually I enjoy going to the school events and all those little things they need volunteers for, i love picking her up and going home via the park and actually you know what I am just going to say it I LOVE spending my days growing my plants, baking, sewing, crocheting and just running our house how i want it run. My mother did this my grandmother did this and no one stood behind them saying " when are you goign to get a real job?" Every 5 minutes. My husband tells me constantly how proud he is of the things i do with the children and the things i make etc....and he has the freedom to work without worrying about the children or the house.

I do at the moment have three preschool children as well and so it would be pretty difficult for me to have a job outside the home even if i wanted but i do half own a business with my husband that i do work in when i have spare time.

As things are now (I.e as long as i can afford to) i won't be seeking employment outside the home. I just dont want to and have no reason to.