for feeling smug when mothers of school-agers describe themselves as "Full-time mums" or "Housewives"?

Oh fuck me now we are blaming capitalism.

I had two full time working parents and I hated it, never got to do after school activities, they never came to school events, never got to go to schoool friends for tea or them to mine, any of that sort of thing due to their jobs

Well, I had this from my Dad. My parents had a very traditional setup, housewife and breadwinner working 50 - 60 hrs a week.

I'd wager that my own parent's setup wasn't ideal either, really. My mum was always the one to attend school related activities, took us to the dentist, etc - it meant that when my nan got ill one year and had to leave us for 2 weeks my dad truly didn't have a clue with what to do with his own family. He didn't even know what our teacher's names were, whether we had homework, what days we did after-school sports - you go from one totally overly involved mother vs. a totally loving but uninvolved father (who, if he'd been honest about it, knowing the man he is, I'm sure he'd have loved to become more involved had it ever occured to them, to veer from the traditional setup).

So, it doesn't make it better, having 1 working fulltime parent and 1 work at home parent. Normally it just means that you notice dad's involvement less. I certainly did, until mum went to stay with nan...

So, yeah - I'm not sure my upbringing was any better than your own, really. A lot of missed time with my dad, you know?

exactly scottishmummy, no trail, no smuggery, it's just another choice we all make. No right, no wrong, no superiority. I think the OP is bang out of order.

Yes, I long to work full time at home and also work full time outside the home. I am hugely proud of the way capitalism has exploited women to engender the double burden. Congratulations on seeing no issue with this while polishing your shiny halo. ;)

Mdthoh, she was a great great mum, and we always told her that. She was just really bored by being a housewife. It was the 60's though and she was wife of a doctor - and good wives didn't work. Thank God we now can choose. I love my SAHM friends for loving their choice as much as I love mine.

nope,im not there as i work,no trail.realistic.

scottishmummy, I will never be at the gate too, but I, unlike the OP, don't think of myself as a trail blazing go getter because of it. Its all about choices surely?

Getoifmoiland, I am an Air Traffic Controller and have a geeky side interest in aircraft design...I'm trying to flirt with you now....

Bickie, I would happily go part time again to help my children with my grandchildren if needed to, I feel sad for your mum to have resented it so much and not going to work when you were kids!

Just saw Rivens up yer bum post on page 5. Loved it. Bloody OP, I work full time but am damn jealous of the SAHM's. It is not a lifestyle that would suit me but flipping heck I wish it would. I love my job so so much but still sometimes crave the SAHM stuff. You, my dear, are a full on twunt. Judgemental so and so. Don't namechange, own up to your smuggery.

I had a SAHM and she hated it. She said she used to think as my father left every morning - why am I being punished? Before children she had a job she loved, a great degree and then ended up mashing potatoes and ironing clothes. Probably because of this my sisters and I are all WOHM - and have to say all love our careers and our children. Don't feel smug - just very different to SAHM.

i am never at school gate.never will be.no big deal

"never got to do after school activities, they never came to school events, never got to go to schoool friends for tea or them to mine, any of that sort of thing due to their jobs!"

This is what happens to the children at DD's school whose parents who work full time.

I have made friends at the school gate and will miss the social aspect when DD goes to high school.

I am wiser for it, I would not change or regreat for one moment the time spent with my children bringing them up. There are some voluntary jobs I regret partly, mostly I got a lot from them. There are many jobs I have had that I regret wasting my life on.

You are a long time dead, and your children are only young for a short time, and they go off and have a life of their own as it should be!

I had two full time working parents and I hated it, never got to do after school activities, they never came to school events, never got to go to schoool friends for tea or them to mine, any of that sort of thing due to their jobs! Rarely had day trips as they were catching up socially, with the house etc.. I have loved doing that sort of stuff I missed out on with my children, and would not change it for the world.

If you manage to find that job you're "looking forward to building-up my career again" with

Good luck with that - bugger all going round here even if the sahms decide to work again :(

Mummie - so sorry you've had a horrible time of it You did well to escape by the sounds of it.

Hussy is the word. Her and her fancy schmancy airplane wing fixed trailing edge blah blahs...your dh will no more look at her than she'll have him reeled in. Take heed.

i pay a lot of money to dump my dc,guilt free.if staff do think im a avaricious boot they smile sweet til im gone.good thing since i pay their wages

Now this is quite worrying but I would LOVE to work on earthquake planning protocols.

I used to have dealings with a company in Florida and as part of a contract had to intimitately get to know their Disaster Recovery Plan (as they were in a hurricane zone).

DAMMIT that we live in such an area of meteorological safety!

interesting I worked 4 days a week whilst DS was pre-school and have taken some time off when he started school. He has benefitted way more (IMVHO) from me being around more whilst he's been in school than he did before.

I have worked part-time, full time and not worked at all (all without the aid of a partner or claiming any benefits) and I have been an unpaid trustee for a significant charity. AIBU to feel unbearably smug compared to you?

My DH does a very good impersonation of someone who is interested in earthquake planning protocols and their impact of business interruption patterns.

But he is actually interested in aeroplane design, so I will keep him well away from you and your fiendish wiles, and scintillating anecdotes, you hussy.

Masie, the sad fact is that I was such a doormat, he left and I was devistated I would have gone on like that

I'm only going to answer the OP: personally, i'd rather not leave my children in breakfast club and after school club and holiday care. I'm rather smug that i am able to look after them myself instead of dumping them on others.

(disclaimer: i don't actually think this at all, because I'm not a judgemental, cowardly name changing cow.
Everyone does things differently. I don't judge those who go out to work and it would be nice to be offered the same consideration.)

OOh.

There's a thought.

Can make Jane Asher style cakes with planes on.

Who needs to contribute to the mortgage! Let them make cake.

Masie, he told me at one stage during divorce process his now wife was pregnant and she was going to give up her job and be a sahm, it made me giggle actually after the nastyness about me being one from her... anyways I think it was a lie as no baby ever appreared and he is a known liar and the timing was all for use in court!

Mummie - is that why he's an ex?!