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Four events this week at school during working hours…

422 replies

Breakfromschoolrequestsplease · 22/10/2026 17:56

…followed by an email “have a great half term…here’s some homework plus a half term project”…and no doubt another virus.

OP posts:
Parker231 · Today 11:19

ThankYouNigel · Today 11:14

Plenty could manage with less and have more time with their own children, if they truly wanted to, yes.

Some of us want to provide more than the minimum for their DC’s

SirChenjins · Today 11:19

ThankYouNigel · Today 11:12

Funnily enough babies can’t perform, sing, show you their work or show you their sports.

Toddlers and pre schoolers can.

MistyMountainTop · Today 11:18

ThankYouNigel · Today 10:37

You need to earn more money to pay for everything you outsource that I do myself.

I disagree with our tax system anyway, it does not reflect the breadth of parental choice in the way that other countries do. Some countries choose to give tax breaks and incentives to families where one parent stay at home. Unfortunately, the UK prefers to reward an individualistic, money-grabbing mindset.

We also don’t agree with my husband paying tax into free childcare hours for others people’s babies/toddlers. So I’ve already got rid of my income, then he’s paid again for other parents where there are 2 higher earners than us anyway? No, we do not agree with that one bit. If you have 2 earners then you pay!

Well back in the past, until the 80s, the man of the house had to submit a tax return for both him and his wife and they were taxed jointly. This meant that all the woman's financial information had to be transparent to him. The then prime minister, Margaret Thatcher, thought it was wrong that Denis, her husband, had to fill in the head of the country's tax return.

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SnowflakesandSlippers · Today 11:16

ThankYouNigel · Today 11:14

Plenty could manage with less and have more time with their own children, if they truly wanted to, yes.

For many people that simply isnt the case. Also, there is no more time I could spend with my dd than I already do.

ThankYouNigel · Today 11:14

SnowflakesandSlippers · Today 10:48

So anyone who chooses to work is money grabbing and individualistic? Interesting.

Plenty could manage with less and have more time with their own children, if they truly wanted to, yes.

ThankYouNigel · Today 11:12

MidnightPatrol · Today 11:01

IMO the schools are the ones creating the opportunities for the children’s disappointment, by constantly orahbsjng unnecessary middle of the days events that the children parents will struggle to attend.

Nurseries aren’t like this.

Funnily enough babies can’t perform, sing, show you their work or show you their sports.

ThankYouNigel · Today 11:11

Parker231 · Today 10:44

High earners don’t qualify for free childcare.

But plenty do who earn more than us even if we both worked full time. My DH earns around £40K. 2 parents who both worked could bring in a combined income of £99K and qualify.

MidnightPatrol · Today 11:01

ThankYouNigel · 22/10/2026 18:23

One of the many reasons why I decided to be a SAHM…none of this stuff is new or a surprise prior to deciding to have children, it’s always been the case that parents are invited in to school events and expected to support their child’s learning. I saw firsthand as a Reception teacher how upset children are when nobody shows up for their events, and knew that would never be the case for mine. Children require emotional support and genuine interest to thrive.

Parents expect schools to pick up way too much stuff nowadays, including changing nappies and teeth cleaning! Schools should however give parents adequate notice about events, as many will rearrange things where they can. This stuff is important.

Edited

IMO the schools are the ones creating the opportunities for the children’s disappointment, by constantly orahbsjng unnecessary middle of the days events that the children parents will struggle to attend.

Nurseries aren’t like this.

SnowflakesandSlippers · Today 10:58

SirChenjins · Today 10:55

They will - but not enough to sustain the entire education system of the UK. We need as many people as possible to work and pay for eg core services and benefits for people who need them.

Edited

Oh I completely agree with you, but I do think people sometimes forget that they also pay their taxes and also often have their own families.

SirChenjins · Today 10:55

SnowflakesandSlippers · Today 10:52

To be fair, the teachers and support staff will also be contributing from their frankly not brilliant salaries.

They will - but not enough to sustain the entire education system of the UK. We need as many people as possible to work and pay for eg core services and benefits for people who need them.

SnowflakesandSlippers · Today 10:52

SirChenjins · Today 10:50

Apparently so - whilst simultaneously contributing to the coffers which pay for teachers and schools, healthcare , social care, roads, emergency services, libraries, cleansing, community centres....Hmm

Edited

To be fair, the teachers and support staff will also be contributing from their frankly not brilliant salaries.

SirChenjins · Today 10:50

SnowflakesandSlippers · Today 10:48

So anyone who chooses to work is money grabbing and individualistic? Interesting.

Apparently so - whilst simultaneously contributing to the coffers which pay for teachers and schools, healthcare , social care, roads, emergency services, libraries, cleansing, community centres....Hmm

SnowflakesandSlippers · Today 10:48

ThankYouNigel · Today 10:37

You need to earn more money to pay for everything you outsource that I do myself.

I disagree with our tax system anyway, it does not reflect the breadth of parental choice in the way that other countries do. Some countries choose to give tax breaks and incentives to families where one parent stay at home. Unfortunately, the UK prefers to reward an individualistic, money-grabbing mindset.

We also don’t agree with my husband paying tax into free childcare hours for others people’s babies/toddlers. So I’ve already got rid of my income, then he’s paid again for other parents where there are 2 higher earners than us anyway? No, we do not agree with that one bit. If you have 2 earners then you pay!

So anyone who chooses to work is money grabbing and individualistic? Interesting.

SirChenjins · Today 10:44

Whether you agree with it or is irrelevant @ThankYouNigel As a net tax payer, I don't agree with my tax paying for state pensions for people who could work but choose not to, for example, but there you go.

Parker231 · Today 10:44

ThankYouNigel · Today 10:37

You need to earn more money to pay for everything you outsource that I do myself.

I disagree with our tax system anyway, it does not reflect the breadth of parental choice in the way that other countries do. Some countries choose to give tax breaks and incentives to families where one parent stay at home. Unfortunately, the UK prefers to reward an individualistic, money-grabbing mindset.

We also don’t agree with my husband paying tax into free childcare hours for others people’s babies/toddlers. So I’ve already got rid of my income, then he’s paid again for other parents where there are 2 higher earners than us anyway? No, we do not agree with that one bit. If you have 2 earners then you pay!

High earners don’t qualify for free childcare.

ThankYouNigel · Today 10:37

Parker231 · Today 10:26

So your family is a lower contributor than a family like mine where both parents are working full time and paying huge amounts of tax.

You need to earn more money to pay for everything you outsource that I do myself.

I disagree with our tax system anyway, it does not reflect the breadth of parental choice in the way that other countries do. Some countries choose to give tax breaks and incentives to families where one parent stay at home. Unfortunately, the UK prefers to reward an individualistic, money-grabbing mindset.

We also don’t agree with my husband paying tax into free childcare hours for others people’s babies/toddlers. So I’ve already got rid of my income, then he’s paid again for other parents where there are 2 higher earners than us anyway? No, we do not agree with that one bit. If you have 2 earners then you pay!

MrsMurphyIWish · Today 10:35

TheOutlier · Today 08:53

School is a service provided from taxpayers’ money so the parents are the customers. The fact it is run on a conscription basis does not change that basic fact - the parents (the working ones anyway) are paying for this. So it would make sense to run it on a basis that adapts to the changes in society - such as both parents working. Lots of random events held at maybe a day’s notice make life impossible. Just issue a calendar and don’t expect the parents there too often (or judge them for that) because they do have other places to be. Needing to earn an income is a basic economic fact and anyone concerned with “safeguarding” would try to work around the need for parents to provide for their kids.

I can never get my head around these conversations as a teacher parent. I’m both a client and a service provider at the same time? Tax payers pay my salary but I am also a tax payer so can I give myself a payrise?

Mumof2heroes · Today 10:27

SirChenjins · Yesterday 10:08

Oh you're back Nigel - excellent! This should be fun 😂

Edited

...and we all know which Nigel she is thanking...

Parker231 · Today 10:26

ThankYouNigel · Today 10:23

That’s their Dad’s responsibility. We have clearly demarcated, shared, different but of equal value, tasks we share responsibility for. The government do pretty well out of him as a state teacher in a deprived area who does hours of unpaid for those kids because he genuinely cares about them.

So your family is a lower contributor than a family like mine where both parents are working full time and paying huge amounts of tax.

ThankYouNigel · Today 10:23

Parker231 · Today 10:21

As you don’t work you aren’t paying any tax so not contributing to the financial support needed for your children’s education.

That’s their Dad’s responsibility. We have clearly demarcated, shared, different but of equal value, tasks we share responsibility for. The government do pretty well out of him as a state teacher in a deprived area who does hours of unpaid for those kids because he genuinely cares about them.

Parker231 · Today 10:21

ThankYouNigel · Today 10:17

You all seem to understand things in economic terms and are interested in monetary matters. Well less children obviously means less tax to pay for their schools, because there will be way less.

As you don’t work you aren’t paying any tax so not contributing to the financial support needed for your children’s education.

strawberrybubblegum · Today 10:21

ThankYouNigel · Today 10:17

You all seem to understand things in economic terms and are interested in monetary matters. Well less children obviously means less tax to pay for their schools, because there will be way less.

Well someone has to think about the economics, and where the money is coming from. You obviously see it entirely as Someone Else's Problem. 🙄

SirChenjins · Today 10:19

I agree @strawberrybubblegum I also know, having 3 adult children, that it make not a jot of difference whether one or both parents worked. There are many models of family life nowadays, and providing that children are provided with things like security, love, stability, encouragement, opportunities for development and play, and enough money for the basics and some extras, then they will turn out just fine - it is literally impossible to tell whether an adult had one or two loving parents, other loving adults who raised them, or a sahp or a wohp, if these things are in place. Nigel can post whatever nonsense she likes, it's just one person's extreme view - and it's certainly not based on fact. It makes for amusing reading though 😂

Parker231 · Today 10:19

ThankYouNigel · Today 10:16

Again, it’s about showing interest. It’s interesting to get to know the staff teaching your children better, and to learn more about school life. My children love seeing me doing walk rounds etc, their friends like seeing me too, as many spend time at our home regularly. It creates a lovely sense of community,

What relevance is that to my post ? DT’s school didn’t have parent governors. I provided support to a local school using skills I developed because I worked.

strawberrybubblegum · Today 10:19

ThankYouNigel · Today 10:13

State schools also receive funding per pupil. Lots of families at our school have 4-7 children, so their larger families, which require a parent at home to manage, do bring far more money into the school than a family who only has 1 child, for example.

No, you still don't get it.

I'm not talking about disbursements from the state to individual schools, according to a formula set by the government. That formula is based in how much money is raised in taxes, so available. And the formula can change, obviously, if less tax income is available.

I'm talking about where that tax money comes from, how it's generated. Which is productive work.

UK people working less -> less tax income -> less money available for schools.

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