Four events this week at school during working hours…

I didn’t ignore the call - it woke me up. The school were at fault as DH was listed as the first number and they had ignored that.

You need to earn more money to pay for everything you outsource that I do myself.

I disagree with our tax system anyway, it does not reflect the breadth of parental choice in the way that other countries do. Some countries choose to give tax breaks and incentives to families where one parent stay at home. Unfortunately, the UK prefers to reward an individualistic, money-grabbing mindset.

We also don’t agree with my husband paying tax into free childcare hours for others people’s babies/toddlers. So I’ve already got rid of my income, then he’s paid again for other parents where there are 2 higher earners than us anyway? No, we do not agree with that one bit. If you have 2 earners then you pay!

No, apparently her DH is saving for university fees for them 🐓 Perhaps the plan is they will meet husbands there.

I have options and opportunities which I fully exercise, my preferred option opportunity being to spend as much time as possibly with my own young children, during this most beautiful chapter of my life so far. I’m very happy with my choice, it was always my first choice.

Yes, but you wouldn't need to save for university fees for the girls would you, as they're all going to be mummies?

Time rich. Different priorities. You’d certainly never catch me ignoring a call from the school whilst at a hotel in Singapore! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Most schools have a priority 1, priority 2 for contacts. If you are number 1 they will always call you first. If.you speak to the office, they will be able to swop so they call dh first.

But what you’re describing goes far beyond strong family values? I have strong family values, I’m raising my children the same, but the inescapable truth is that money gives you options and it gives you opportunities. If you don’t want options or opportunities,
then good for you and I hope it works out, but you can’t sit back and denigrate an entire demographic of people who have a different mindset.

Minimal existence

Exactly. Even the basics, especially in the SE, would put pressure on a £40k salary that's supporting 4 people (and saving for multiple university fees and a pension for the parent who isn't working). We all know how much things cost and what £40k gross buys you.

Unless you're topping up that income with benefits (which are paid from the wider tax take from working people), it really is the equivalent of the MN chicken.

Minimal existence

Schools definitely have agendas. The senior leaders at their school are so judgmental about parents who don’t work, despite the fact they can sustain working 14 hour plus days because not one of them even has children!

I’m absolutely making sure my children grow up with strong family values, not endless career and money worshipping.

Well we’ve done it for the first 8 years just fine. Bought our first home aged 25, always paid to lock into excellent 5 year mortgage deals with lower rates. We managed fine as 2 teachers on the main pay scale. Once DH reached UPS1 he earns what it took both of us previously earning as early career teachers, so I could afford to resign. We strategically bought a home near both his and our children’s school so we can car share. We’ve always saved and never use credit cards. We planned ahead from our early twenties extremely carefully.

I’m honestly just baffled! Assuming it’s a legitimate poster, I physically don’t see how £2500 ish can support a family of 4 as comfortably as she’s alleging.

Schools definitely have agendas. The senior leaders at their school are so judgmental about parents who don’t work, despite the fact they can sustain working 14 hour plus days because not one of them even has children!

I’m absolutely making sure my children grow up with strong family values, not endless career and money worshipping.

I genuinely have no idea how any family at the moment can survive on £40k for the whole family, and have any meaningful quality of life - although maybe I’m wrong and it’s possible! But how would they be going on day trips / enriching activities / holidays / eating more than just the absolute basics?

That said, I’m not sad that someone who openly admits their biggest ambition for their daughter is to get married and have babies is no longer educating the young children of the day.

(Obviously this is aimed at Nigel, not you, but just a continuation of your thoughts about providing more than the bare minimum!)

I genuinely have no idea how any family at the moment can survive on £40k for the whole family, and have any meaningful quality of life - although maybe I’m wrong and it’s possible! But how would they be going on day trips / enriching activities / holidays / eating more than just the absolute basics?

That said, I’m not sad that someone who openly admits their biggest ambition for their daughter is to get married and have babies is no longer educating the young children of the day.

(Obviously this is aimed at Nigel, not you, but just a continuation of your thoughts about providing more than the bare minimum!)

And save for multiple university fees - and hopefully (for Nigel's sake) pay towards either the full state pension or a private pension for her. It's like the MN chicken.

I genuinely have no idea how any family at the moment can survive on £40k for the whole family, and have any meaningful quality of life - although maybe I’m wrong and it’s possible! But how would they be going on day trips / enriching activities / holidays / eating more than just the absolute basics?

That said, I’m not sad that someone who openly admits their biggest ambition for their daughter is to get married and have babies is no longer educating the young children of the day.

(Obviously this is aimed at Nigel, not you, but just a continuation of your thoughts about providing more than the bare minimum!)

Some of us want to provide more than the minimum for their DC’s

Whether you agree with it or is irrelevant @ThankYouNigel As a net tax payer, I don't agree with my tax paying for state pensions for people who could work but choose not to, for example, but there you go.

Funnily enough babies can’t perform, sing, show you their work or show you their sports.

Some of us want to provide more than the minimum for their DC’s

But plenty do who earn more than us even if we both worked full time. My DH earns around £40K. 2 parents who both worked could bring in a combined income of £99K and qualify.