Four events this week at school during working hours…

I'm not talking about people living beyond their means. I am talking about people that have a higher income to provide their children with a decent quality of life rather than selling their low income as 'character building' to their children.

You could be a lunch time assistant to see your DC during the school day. That's what the SAHMs did back in the day. Or a TA. You could home school as PPs have said. But you would rather be at home, away from your DC so it is unfair to say the sacrifices they make are for them or judge other mothers.

Ha I said that from the off!

If I had my way, we would both be at all events.

Parents shouldn’t have to justify attending these things in my opinion, but as they do, I opted out of that.

Nobody gets to tell me what I can and can’t attend relating to my own children! I love the freedom.

Ahh, so it's ok if one parent or other loving relative or close friend turns up. What you're actually crying for are children who have no-one there. Got it.

Ahh, so it's ok if one parent or other loving relative or close friend turns up. What you're actually crying for are children who have no-one there. Got it.

Not for our kids, I’m there, and usually my mum. It is a shame if nobody turns up.

It’s not my problem most people have lost the ability to live within their means
and budget properly. Schools really need to up those skills for the next generation- personal debt levels in the UK are a national embarrassment!

It’s not my problem most people have lost the ability to live within their means
and budget properly. Schools really need to up those skills for the next generation- personal debt levels in the UK are a national embarrassment!

But not events during the school day. What a shame.

I'm surprised he can dash off immediately after his classes - the teachers I know are working till much later, and then often mark or lesson plan in the evenings.

So yes, we attend that one together, but there are odd things straight after school he can dash over to after seeing his own class out (he’ll then mark all evening instead), and he can watch our youngest’s extra-curricular shows, which are at the weekend.

Absolutely. I can imagine the children must be fairly young. There can't be much left on such a small income. They will be the ones making sacrifices in the years to come so the poster can play doting wifey.

I personally don’t like debt and prefer saving up before buying something. I’ve always done that with my cars, saved up first. My children are being taught to save weekly pocket money, then make a bigger purchase after. I really dislike how normalised debt is currently within the UK. Patience and the ability to wait build character. We have reward current accounts which make plenty of additional reward cash from standard bill payments.

Being able to attend random school events is a huge price to pay for family financial security.

Both at some? I thought he only got one hour every year?

We have reward current accounts too - standard bills don't give 'plenty' of cash 😂

He has freed me up so my children have their mother at every school event, both at some, and both parents with them every school holiday, instead of neither! I doubt many get both parents at home full time for 13 weeks of the year together! Works beautifully for our family, we value and maximise time together.

It’s no longer 1950 where a man solely provided for his family. We’ve fought for equality and opportunities for women to be treated equally and can provide for their families.
Why should a man have the sole responsibility for paying the bills? If your DH decided he would like to be the stay at home parent, you’d have to get back to work.
Having a credit card and paying it off each month is good financial planning. It improves your credit scores and we use one with air miles which contribute to our travel expenses.

He has freed me up so my children have their mother at every school event, both at some, and both parents with them every school holiday, instead of neither! I doubt many get both parents at home full time for 13 weeks of the year together! Works beautifully for our family, we value and maximise time together.

But you've said you cry for children that don't have that due to poor planning from the mothers. So why choose to have children with a man that can't provide that for your children? Surely they see other Dads (some teachers!) there and feel sad your husband hasn't pushed for this. You are a massive hypocrite.

I’ve never claimed benefits, have never had a credit card and haven’t had an overdraft since I was a student! I get the regular child benefit everyone gets, that’s it. We do not qualify for UC and do not need it, my husband works FT! What a cheek. However, I don’t judge if others do claim it, I know a few mums on the school run, and what is actually disgusting is that their husbands already work FT, but in lower paid jobs than mine. It used to be the norm for a man to provide for his family, disgusting if a family is now priced out of that option.

If you know anything about the teaching profession, you’ll know that it has zero flexibility. No WFH or booking an hour or two off. My DH is not allowed time out to attend events, he would love to. Well, he gets 1 hour all year, so he alternates which child’s event he can spend a bit of time at each year. All part of the reason why I left, no way we were putting up with both of us having zero flexibility and our own children having nobody turn up for them. He does however get all of the school holidays with them, and is grateful he gets more annual leave than breadwinner Dads in any other job we know of.

I’ve never claimed benefits, have never had a credit card and haven’t had an overdraft since I was a student! I get the regular child benefit everyone gets, that’s it. We do not qualify for UC and do not need it, my husband works FT! What a cheek. However, I don’t judge if others do claim it, I know a few mums on the school run, and what is actually disgusting is that their husbands already work FT, but in lower paid jobs than mine. It used to be the norm for a man to provide for his family, disgusting if a family is now priced out of that option.

If you know anything about the teaching profession, you’ll know that it has zero flexibility. No WFH or booking an hour or two off. My DH is not allowed time out to attend events, he would love to. Well, he gets 1 hour all year, so he alternates which child’s event he can spend a bit of time at each year. All part of the reason why I left, no way we were putting up with both of us having zero flexibility and our own children having nobody turn up for them. He does however get all of the school holidays with them, and is grateful he gets more annual leave than breadwinner Dads in any other job we know of.

As a sole income family with multiple children reliant on a state teachers income, you are not a net provider. Infact you are likely a UC claimant. So no need to worry about where you husband's taxes go because more is ploughed back into your family than you contribute.

Your children aren't growing up in the 1950s. The will see their peers with mostly two parents taking an interest in their school life. It seems hypocritical to claim you 'cry' about DC that don't have parents showing an interest when you and your husband actively refuse to provide that from their father.

You need to earn more money to pay for everything you outsource that I do myself.

I disagree with our tax system anyway, it does not reflect the breadth of parental choice in the way that other countries do. Some countries choose to give tax breaks and incentives to families where one parent stay at home. Unfortunately, the UK prefers to reward an individualistic, money-grabbing mindset.

We also don’t agree with my husband paying tax into free childcare hours for others people’s babies/toddlers. So I’ve already got rid of my income, then he’s paid again for other parents where there are 2 higher earners than us anyway? No, we do not agree with that one bit. If you have 2 earners then you pay!

Very sad that we need to ensure that in 2026 women get these advantages. I want the same opportunities for my DS and DD.

It is, isn't it - especially when it gives women access to so many opportunities and choices they might not otherwise have.

Education is beneficial for everyone. Connections made at university are certainly beneficial for many reasons.