Four events this week at school during working hours…

We had DH listed as the first number and me the second. The one and only time they rang me first I was working in Singapore and it was 11pm when they called and woke me up. My comments weren’t repeatable but they rang DH from then on!

Don't imagine that it's the teachers wanting to do all these extra events. Talk to SLT. They are the ones pressurising the teachers, or, more bluntly, telling them that they will be putting on the events.

I can assure you that the majority of teachers will be feeling exactly the same but will have no choice in when these events are scheduled, they will be expected to facilitate them on top of their usual workload and then questioned why more parents didn’t attend. In some cases they may even be told they aren’t engaging parents enough and questioned how they will improve things in the future so the school can demonstrate something for a tick box.

So you’ve both decided you’ve got more important things to do, so stop moaning and complaining as plenty of parents love going to these things, they will continue! It’s not all about you, it is fairer to children to perform when they are fresh and to teachers, who have a high enough workload, to do all of this during the day when best suits them.

So we are not showing interest in our children if we can't be a sahm?

We'll agree to differ.

It’s not the norm at our school, everyone has a SAHM/parents on benefits/parents work from home/single parents do flexi jobs like taxi drivers.

Why should those parents and children miss out on all the lovely events? Just to make those feel better who’s rather be at work. No.

Schools should not be surprised when parents cannot attend events during the day. They are at work! I didn’t work local to the school so rarely could go DH did worked very close but he was a GP - I’m sure patients would be happy with him if he cancelled surgery appointments so he could go the school for yet another event.

Just don't give homework!

And I think some parents forget their children are their responsibility all of the time, even when at school, which is for education. Can you imagine the uproar there would be if a school didn’t quickly try and telephone parents in an emergency? I would be furious if my child’s school did not quickly phone me if my child suddenly became unwell or injured, that is more important than any job! I’m their Mum, I expect to know what is going on. Children are not an inconvenience. Genuinely, what is wrong with people?!

I agree - it is important, and because it's important schools need to be more on top of their planning. Parents work for all sorts of reasons, and we'll not get into the debate WOHP/SAHP because that's been done to death on here, but as it's the norm for both parents to work that should be taken into account by schools.

Holidays and half terms were “my” time with the children. It was for going on adventures and making biscuits not for homework and building models the schools wanted.

and I was never shy about telling them that.

at the end of reception for my oldest we were given a whole fucking book of exercises to do over the summer holiday i gave it back and told them straight away we would not be doing it. I would be sending him back at the end of the summer slightly feral. ;)

Yes they operate as if one parent does not work. Or as if we are all in jobs where we can easily take a few hours out. There are plenty of jobs where that is not possible and no we don't all have relatives who live locally and can go instead.
My kids just knew there would never be a parent there. It's shit, but life can be.

One of the many reasons why I decided to be a SAHM…none of this stuff is new or a surprise prior to deciding to have children, it’s always been the case that parents are invited in to school events and expected to support their child’s learning. I saw firsthand as a Reception teacher how upset children are when nobody shows up for their events, and knew that would never be the case for mine. Children require emotional support and genuine interest to thrive.

Parents expect schools to pick up way too much stuff nowadays, including changing nappies and teeth cleaning! Schools should however give parents adequate notice about events, as many will rearrange things where they can. This stuff is important.

I am aware of that and they had DH's number - but instead of calling him if they couldn't get me they would just keep calling me. I think some schools genuinely forget that it's not 1978 and both parents usually work - and not everyone has extended family who can attend the multitude of events if the parents can't attend because they are working too (or don't live locally).

I found daytime stuff like open classrooms, summer/christmas fairs In the afternoons, assemblies, carol concerts, the book fair, the craft fair, phonics sessions, parents meetings
all in the daytime at infants very annoying when I work full time - it’s a nightmare! It’s even more annoying when they email to say they’re disappointed to say x/y/z was poorly attended!
read the room!!!

it’s not so bad now they’re in juniors/secondary as these tend to be in the evening.

Most schools have a priority 1, priority 2 for contacts. If you are number 1 they will always call you first. If.you speak to the office, they will be able to swop so they call dh first.

What events are they?!!

We never get holiday homework, why do they do that?! What if people are away all week?

What I don’t understand about events in the day they want parents to attend is that teachers more than many people know they couldn’t do the same at their children’s school as they’d never get the time off.

I'd think that was lovely, okay it's busy and maybe you can't get to all of them, but at least the children are getting a range of experiences. I'd prefer to have teachers and schools that care rather than just not bothering.

Sounds very familiar. Those were the kind of requests - always sent at the last minute so I could rarely attend because of work commitments or annual leave booking restrictions - that used to make me want to tear my hair out. That and the fact they would never phone DH if the DC were ill, despite also having his number. Sympathies.