Four events this week at school during working hours…

How utterly patronising. Nobody is amazed by the existence of parental responsibilities, the point is that responsible parenting and respecting working parents time are not mutually exclusive concepts. The most important responsibility a parent has is to provide financially.

Some parents work full-time, some work shifts, some have inflexible employers, and some have childcare arrangements that cannot simply be rearranged at the drop of a hat. They can be every bit as involved, loving and committed to their children as parents who have greater flexibility.

Helping with homework and attending school events are basic parental responsibilities, yes. But expecting reasonable notice so parents can actually fulfil those responsibilities is basic common courtesy.

And let’s be clear, choosing to have children is not signing away your right to earn a living, nor does it mean you should be expected to make yourself available at a moment’s notice. The argument was never that school events shouldn’t happen but that a little
consideration for working families goes a long way. If that distinction is genuinely beyond you, I give up.

Absolutely, I cannot stand the current narrative running down everything to do with motherhood and children being viewed as inconveniences to palm off in institutions for as many hours a day from as young as possible. So glad my children are being raised by me to value family over careers!

As someone who was a SAHM for eight years, I also struggled to attend such events due to having younger children who couldn't always be accommodated. So it's not just a matter of prioritising work over children (which most have no choice over!). Particularly if you don't have family living locally (we don't, which was the main reason I had to be SAHM).

I've been back at work over ten years now and our youngest is in their final year of primary. I have the good fortune to work quite flexibly and TTO but even with that, there are still some things I can't get to. I am less concerned about this seeing the benefits my secondary aged children derive from me working (I had no idea teens would be so expensive and so unpredictable in terms of expenditure!).

Also, hardly any of them remember me being at the events I killed myself to get to, with a few notable exceptions. I can't remember half of them either!!!

I also suffer from the repeated phone calls...

What’s wrong in ringing the father rather than the mother?

The 'top London school' sounds rather dull then, dd loves getting engaged in a project to further her learning.

Poor kids!

Yep, but apparently makes us awful. Maybe we should have just life on benefits?

Yep, but apparently makes us awful. Maybe we should have just life on benefits?

This 100%. Teachers are saints!

Notice is key.

It’s actually obtuse to have children and then be amazed to be invited into their school regularly and have to help with homework. Basic parental responsibilities.

I work, but I never had a problem with day time school events as long as we had plenty of notice. I would read the newsletter very carefully and try to book annual leave for as many events as possible. It worked for 10 years of primary school, except when bad weather caused sports day to be changed at the last minute.

If events were all last minute, I’d have been pretty pissed off.

If schools didnt do stuff like that, parents would complain.
When they do... other parents complain

They cant do it out of working hours, as teachers arent available then.

They will never keep everyone happy.

Wow. You are incredibly obtuse. Many families have two working parents because those parents prioritise ensuring they can provide adequately for the children they choose to bring into this world. Luckily for those on benefits.
Absolutely, the events should go ahead. But no, it is not unreasonable to expect prior warning so that those working can schedule appropriately.

Schools need to follow the priority of the numbers provided and not assume the mother will be available to collect.

And many parents choose to work and treat their children like an inconvenience. Many could make adjustments but choose not to. I know single parents who haven’t bought themselves new clothes for 10 years to be with their own children, who their money is spent on. Sadly many look down their noses on poorer parents like that, but they love their kids fiercely and go without a lot.

Many people can’t choose to be a SAHM.

I expect to be called first about anything concerning my children, I have zero issue with this. Parents can choose anyway which parent to put as priority 1 or 2. Schools will keep calling both if nobody answers, and anyone else listed. Schools take safeguarding children and their health very seriously, and parents are responsible for making medical decisions. Sick children have a right to rest and be cared for at home, and also not to infect other people’s children. I always feel really cross when parents send in obviously ill children, then making my children ill, and their staff. It is selfish.

Not quite as important as paying the mortgage and putting food on the table though, eh? Many people have to work full time (or at least during school hours in termtime) whether they want to or not, particularly lone parents.

Actually, I would fully support GPs attending their own children’s school events, and would not mind taking mine to see a different GP.

No one is saying not to ring the parents but why in the majority of cases, do they ring the mother?

I attended probably two or three daytime events per child over the full six years. Also we never did the holiday homework. Oldest DC is now at university with zero detrimental effects.

I still vividly remember the sense of relief when the youngest left primary school.

I was going to say hope you've got your hard hat on but from your responses to pp, you've clearly come here for a bun fight... 🧁

We were at work not sitting around at home doing nothing. That was more important than a school event.
If you want to take your child to a doctors appointment and find it cancelled because the doctor is visiting his DC’s school, I’m sure it can be arranged!

you can do all that and do it in an organised manner. Our entire terms dates are sent on the last day of term BEFORE.
At the end of summer term we were given the dates for Autumn. Gives parents a month or so to plan for this. And it very rarely changes dates.
Throwing this in at the very last minutes is poor planning on the part of the school.
and my kids attend a top London private school and we never get weekend homework and a project for the half term is unheard of.