Four events this week at school during working hours…

Alas, we will never agree. I believe a woman is more than a mother and a man more than a provider.
And let’s hope for your children's sake that your husband continues to be able to provide adequately and chooses to do so.

It is also common sense that if he can’t answer then they are going to ring you?! Did you ever think how it may come across to your sad/worried/ill/injured child sat there waiting for someone to answer who is not too busy for them?!

I was a sahm until the youngest started school. Then, I would swap my PPA if I could, arrange to leave half an hour early or if I couldn’t attend dh would. I’m not saying it’s not a headache, or inconvenient but it depends if you want to or not in a lot of cases.

Dd has had 8 weeks, she is exhausted!

DH’s number was listed first as he worked locally whereas I didn’t. Basic common sense. What’s wrong with their father being the primary contact number? He’s equally their parent.

It’s the end of a 7 week term. Go/don’t go. Everyone is knackered and the kids won’t notice.

Fabulous … and how much are you paid?

Yawn. I start work as a teacher at 7.30. I’m not staying at work until 6pm. Most days teachers don’t have free periods to mark in. If its such an easy job, become a teacher.

Why would it be muddled?

And plenty of families prefer a clear division of duties, which is less muddled and up to them.

As a primary school teacher, you obviously can’t go to your own children’s school events as you’ll be at work the same as other working parents.

Recognise your amazing privilege. Very few families can afford to have a SAHM. We need two full time wages to pay the bills (small house, no abroad holidays).

It’s more the fact how you seem so keen to never be contacted about your own children, like making a point it should always be Dad. It’s actually really sad, I can’t relate to it at all.

Many people do both, but between mother and father. I love that dd is fortunate enough to have those things from both of us.

I remember once watching a programme about teachers. Where one stressed that there were days when she never got home until 6pm. She had done her marking before anyone says about that. She did not have lessons all day so did it then. But then had to organise an after club. So actually got home at 6pm. She seriously thought this was late.

And there was I thinking sitting on a train at 6pm with a hour and half to go to get home was okay.

What a miserable load of whingers you lot are…. Speaking as a mum of 6 - and a primary school teacher.
They are YOUR children - no one forced you to have them. Can’t you pretend to be interested?
And if you genuinely can’t attend, we understand and make arrangements for your child accordingly.
What would you actually want to happen?
No events? Evening events?(no thanks) weekend stuff? (absofuckingloutely not!)
Jeez damned if we do and damned if we don’t.

Agree, and society/governments have utterly failed many mothers and children by pricing them out of the option. It’s disgraceful.

We evidently disagree. My primary responsibility as a mother is not to provide financially, that is my husband’s responsibility. I am a mother, I hate the term parent, as a mother my primary responsibility is to nurture and care for my children, (care for them when they are sick, attend all school events, take them to all appointments, educate my children, clean for my children, cook for my children, care for their pets, host their friends, transport them to clubs).

I do not want to provide money, but time. Time is everything. Time is what this horrible, frantic, rushed, stressed modern society is sorely lacking in. Our family has opted out of that horrendous lifestyle.

@Monty36 Absolutely, that's all I remember my mum (SAHM) coming to. Or there being available.

A different thread I know but years ago you had sports day, parents evening, a nativity play, and perhaps one other musical event that parents were invited to attend.
And that was it. No craft fairs, open sessions, assemblies for parents to attend etc.

Perfectly possible to raise your children to be happy and healthy whilst both parents continue with their careers.

But why should teachers stay ‘after hours’? They’ll be working a good deal of the half-term holiday too!

When we moved DT’s to a private school, events were at the weekend. Great attendance compared to when they were in a state school and events were during the working day and attendance was just a couple of parents.

Ahh but what people really think is that teachers should bend over backwards to plan things at a time when they personally find it convenient. They seem to forget that many teachers probably want to spend time with their own families in their own time, which they aren't paid for. Who'd be a teacher these days?!

How utterly patronising. Nobody is amazed by the existence of parental responsibilities, the point is that responsible parenting and respecting working parents time are not mutually exclusive concepts. The most important responsibility a parent has is to provide financially.

Some parents work full-time, some work shifts, some have inflexible employers, and some have childcare arrangements that cannot simply be rearranged at the drop of a hat. They can be every bit as involved, loving and committed to their children as parents who have greater flexibility.

Helping with homework and attending school events are basic parental responsibilities, yes. But expecting reasonable notice so parents can actually fulfil those responsibilities is basic common courtesy.

And let’s be clear, choosing to have children is not signing away your right to earn a living, nor does it mean you should be expected to make yourself available at a moment’s notice. The argument was never that school events shouldn’t happen but that a little
consideration for working families goes a long way. If that distinction is genuinely beyond you, I give up.