Four events this week at school during working hours…

Oh you're back Nigel - excellent! This should be fun 😂

I hated doing craft activities with my children. It's not something I've ever enjoyed doing myself. Why would I suddenly enjoy doing it with tiny children where in fact I'd end up doing it all myself? When they were on holiday from school, I liked reading to them (when they were little), chatting, taking them to the library, park, museum, swimming etc, watching a film with them, cooking or just being around while they did their own thing and had a nice break from schoolwork. Sometimes we embarked on the long and complex journey to visit their grandparents in Scotland and while we were there we'd go out for long walks as well as some of the above. Fond memories. They're in their 30s now. Depressing to hear that all the things parents moaned about a quarter of a century ago are still an issue now - events during the school day announced with minimal notice, unexpected homework and holiday projects, World Book Day costumes etc. None of these made the slightest difference to my children's education.

Absolutely.

I am sorry you were unable to understand my full post.

I admire your restraint more than I can put into words! Good grief.

I’m not picking on you specifically but I think this sort of thinking is what some posters, like the (rather extreme) @ThankYouNigel, are talking about.

It’s kind of sad that some parents view doing a craft activity with your child as an irritating inconvenience.

As for the meetings in the school day, hasn’t the school heard of a calendar? If you give people enough notice then many of them will come. It’s the short-notice things which are a nuisance because (as I’m sure they are fully aware) being employed means you have a contract with your employer to be at work within the hours agreed. You may be able to swap a day or agree a few hours off if told far enough ahead. There is still a lot of lurking institutional misogyny even though most primary teachers are women!

Why do parents need to do projects with their children? Many parents need to work and use holiday clubs or childcare, or if they are able to take some time off they may want to go on holiday, lounge about the house doing stuff of their own choosing, or go out and meet friends, go to the park, or whatever. Building a replica volcano or whatever random nonsense the school has decided that parents should do in their own time with their own children is not "nice" for many of us. If it's so important then it can be done in class or as homework after school. If it's actually not that important after all then it should be optional.

The parents in DT’s classes were at work during half term so wouldn’t have been anymore available to do it than the children who were at holiday club.

It is not fear mongering, it happened to us. Both of us were made redundant within two months of each other, in completely different industries. We went from a decent income to no income overnight. It can and does happen. Both our careers were, we thought secure, until AI came along. Decades of honing our skills and expertise, rendered pointless. You need to stop judging. You might be secure now, but that can change in the blink of an eye. Stop being such a sanctimonious, righteous bore and actually try to put yourselves in others’ shoes.

i was hoping to read this thread to see a range of points and have a sensible debate, but well done Nigel, you have ruined the entire thread and made it all about you. Well freaking done.

Yeah but the school can’t give each child different tasks depending on what their holiday plans are can they?

Given they have to set one thing and the age group we’re talking about, I think schools are right to make it something parents can get involved in.

What if she doesn't want to do either of those things?

And if that husband abandons her or even dies, what then? Try living on CMS money? It’s nothing. Benefits, ditto. The one biggest insurance policy you can take out for your kids is to keep your own job going. I always worked and experienced the short-notice events at school and complete disregard for the fact mothers have jobs. I heard the tut-tutting about time spent at the office. I was lucky that I worked unusual hours so I did a bit of a smoke and mirrors act and they didn’t realise I was the family’s main breadwinner and work was essential.

When my husband eventually walked out - half do these days so please no victim blaming - I was at least able to continue to provide the same standard of living for my children that they were used to. It wasn’t easy but they didn’t suffer from that. If none of us worked, who would pay the benefits?

My kids are grown now, one a graduate with a career and the other at uni. I had them older and retirement isn’t far away. Luckily they do not have to worry about how their old mum will live in retirement because I kept working so I also have plenty of pension provision!

Yes, to clarify, I'm a full time working parent myself and think his wife ( sahm) is in quite a vulnerable position, not for a minute saying her situation is ideal, just wanted to bust the myth that it's impossible to survive on 1 salary in SE. ( Something I've heard multiple times) Sorry if it came across differently.

Doesn’t need to be a craft project as homework though? My DC’s were in holiday club at half term and did plenty of craft activities there but wouldn’t have had time to do anything additional as school homework.

I think it’s nice to have a project to do over half term. It’s an opportunity to do something creative together, parent and child, isn’t that the aim?

Working hours doesn't necessarily mean solely school hours. I chose a job where I work weekends/evenings & get time off during the week. I am thankful I did as I could attend most school things when DC were in primary school. Now they are older, one is disabled & has lots of appointments & most of these are during the week too, so this pattern still works for me.

Sounds like a fab day for your children! The school staff and PTA will have done a lot of work to plan and run the disco.

Ds primary school always had these things but told us literally a day or 2 before, it was so hard trying to juggle it all!

My DT’s are in their 20’s (b/g). DD is in a long term relationship and I imagine they will get married and have a family. However she has a successful career with the EU and doesn’t plan on stopping that. I had a career and family as did my mother and mother in law. She’s had good examples of being a good parent and having a rewarding career.

I’ll give you a quick run down of my evening yesterday. I have two DS’s who are only a year apart in school but now different key stages so events are at different times or on different days.

School finished at 3.20 so collected DS2, took him home and got him changed quickly
DS2 disco started at 4
DS1 had a club after school which finished at 4.30
DS2 disco finished at 4.45
DS1 disco started at 5 and finished at 5.45

I’m lucky we live on the same street as the school and I have a teenage son who was able to take DS2 home after his club so he could quickly get changed and come back to school for his disco. Can’t imagine the gymnastics otherwise, it wouldn’t have worked.

Well the Dads are paying some maintenance for the kids they abandoned and fail to help with for starters, as they should be after having left a Mum alone to do the job of two parents, disgusting. Some of those kids are damaged emotionally by that abandonment and need Mum around even more. My husband is happier for the tax he pays to help a Mum like that than free hours for a Nursery for babies he’d never use.

And who is working to pay the tax to pay the benefits so these sainted single parents don’t have to work?
they aren’t living off thin air

To get married and have children, she will be a fantastic mother.

I can post about whatever I like, working mums regular chip in and derail SAHP threads.

I’m making the point that if you are at home then you welcome these lovely invitations and can attend everything with zero stress. Children are excited about these things, they are little, enjoy the children you chose to gave and stop moaning!