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Original poster

Is it horrible to make ds walk

326 replies

Whyohwhy99 · Yesterday 16:47

Am I horrible making ds walk for 40 mins to and from school because I want to avoid the bus?

OP posts:
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · Yesterday 17:25

TruffleSlinky · Yesterday 17:03

What's wrong with the bus?

The cost really adds up if it’s every day?

(My first thought, anyway.)

DanceMumTaxi · Yesterday 17:25

Ds and his friends walk 40 mins to and from school every day, there’s no bus so no choice. They’re absolutely fine.

Original poster
Whyohwhy99 · Yesterday 17:27

Batties · Yesterday 17:05

OP, I see from your other threads that you have a really difficult time being around other people. Is that the reason you want to avoid the bus? If so, you have to do everything possible to avoid passing that social anxiety onto your DS.

He uses public transport with his brother. I use it if I'm forced to.

OP posts:

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Ponderingwindow · Yesterday 17:27

Depends on the weather, his age and health. It’s 42 where I am and my child has asthma. She travels to school in a car. Walking or even a bus is not an option.

moppety · Yesterday 17:28

Could you cycle together? Would cut the time down a lot and still good exercise and no public transport!

caringcarer · Yesterday 17:29

If he's 11 he should be able to walk for longer than 40 mins. Exercise is good for DC and a bit of rain won't hurt him either.

Dunnocantthinkofone · Yesterday 17:29

I’m sorry but no I don’t think it’s fair to adjust your child’s perfectly normal activities (getting a bus) to accommodate your anxiety.
Unless you want him to suffer a similar level of discomfort in later life, he needs to experience and be role modelled thus as a normal everyday occurrence

Cotopaxi · Yesterday 17:30

I used to have a 30 minute walk every morning to even get to the bus stop where I caught the bus to school.

itsgettingweird · Yesterday 17:30

For an 11yo it’s manageable.

However you need to consider that it’s a lot of walking for you too.

Plus we are due some extreme wet and windy weather this winter so need to make sure you’re kitted out for that as he needs to arrive warm and dry.

I would perhaps walk there with him and if he’s struggling after a full day make the decision about the bus home on a daily basis.

The walk may be too much or it may be great for sensory regulation.

I take it the school is within 3 miles from home and so he’s not entitled to school transport?

JLou08 · Yesterday 17:32

HappySummerFun · Yesterday 17:10

Surely if little kids don't want to walk because they're actually too tired, they just moan and don't walk. At which point, your options are to shout at them, coax them on by dangling snacks in front of them or carry them (and all their stuff).

Fine to give it a go, but if you're talking about a 40 minute walk for a reception child, you may end up regretting it when the walk takes double that time.

No. A 40 minute walk is nothing to an able bodied person. More people should do it. It might solve the huge obesity problem as well as lower pollution and slow down climate change.
ETA didn't mean to quote the PP.

Neuronimo · Yesterday 17:32

Ds walked 40 minutes each way at secondary. He had no choice as I don't drive. He was so much fitter than he is now.

Redpaisley · Yesterday 17:33

Sunbringer · Yesterday 17:07

Is it? She can take a pushchair for if he gets too tired. It’s 40 mins not 4 hours.

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Or she can work on her anxiety of being in a bus.

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 17:33

Whyohwhy99 · Yesterday 17:27

He uses public transport with his brother. I use it if I'm forced to.

Show quote history

Does his brother go to a different school? If you can do it when you need to, and your son can manage the walk, then walk most days but if the weather is too rubbish force yourself to get the bus.

Starlight7080 · Yesterday 17:33

40 mins walk before school is a lot. Especially when the weather gets worse.
Can he get the bus without you? Or can you wear noise cancelling earbuds. I have them they work wonders . I also hate crowded transport. But once sat down you can zone out better with headphones on

NoisyGreenNewt · Yesterday 17:34

It doesn't have to be one or the other surely? Some days you walk, some days - when it's miserable or he's shattered - you get the bus.

Walking in the morning may be fine, but by the afternoon kids are often tired and hungry. Plus when it starts getting dark at 4 it won't be the most enjoyable.

I second the cycling idea also, a good in between.

HappySummerFun · Yesterday 17:34

JLou08 · Yesterday 17:32

No. A 40 minute walk is nothing to an able bodied person. More people should do it. It might solve the huge obesity problem as well as lower pollution and slow down climate change.
ETA didn't mean to quote the PP.

Edited
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Well, the thing about kids is that if they have a problem and you're with them, they make it your problem.

The issue really isn't whether the OP is being 'horrible' to her DS, but whether walking 40 minutes with him and all his stuff four times a day (twice there, twice back) every day is going to become a problem for her.

Original poster
Whyohwhy99 · Yesterday 17:35

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 17:17

I don’t think that, and I didn’t say that. OP hates being around people, is too anxious to be around people, let them in her house, and now get on the bus. I think it would be beneficial for her to face her social anxiety and seek help, rather than just not get the bus, not answer the door, not let people in etc.

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I am seeking help. But it takes time. It doesn't happen overnight. Im waiting for the next step

OP posts:
Redpaisley · Yesterday 17:35

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · Yesterday 17:25

The cost really adds up if it’s every day?

(My first thought, anyway.)

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This is the reason-

Sorry i forgot to say he's 11 starting sen school. Reason is because I don't want to be around people and over packed buses.

SlugJam · Yesterday 17:36

Can’t you say ‘we’ll walk if the weather is decent and everyone is a good space, but if the weather is awful, or DS is exhausted/struggling then we can get the bus’?

beaglescurleduplikebagels · Yesterday 17:37

A 40 minute walk to school is absolutely fine.

Purplebunnie · Yesterday 17:37

I used to walk slightly longer in time to my secondary school. As I got older I cycled. I was certainly fitter in those days

And yes there were occasions when I got wet, especially when cycling but I would put my games skirt on and dry my school skirt on a radiator. It never took more then a couple of lessons to be wearable again.

@Whyohwhy99 if you are going to walk with him that is quite a lot for you. Will he be able to walk or get on a bus on his own at some point?

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · Yesterday 17:37

So are you you at home all day and sending him out with his Sen, and saying your needs trump his?

chaosmaker · Yesterday 17:38

@Whyohwhy99 no not horrible at all. More kids should walk to school instead of there being a car park outside schools. Everyone did walk together a few decades ago. Much safer and healthier

Original poster
Whyohwhy99 · Yesterday 17:38

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 17:18

Is he able to get the bus alone? Is he fit and able to do the walk twice a day? Are you seeking help for your social anxiety?

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He can't do it alone. Possibly at some point but not yet. Yes I have started the ball rolling.

OP posts:
JLou08 · Yesterday 17:38

Sunbringer · Yesterday 17:11

But why? Children aged 5-18 are recommended to take a minimum of 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous exercise every day to be healthy. Walking is generally light exercise so 80 mins of light exercise will contribute nicely to their activity. Why do so many people think that small children shouldn’t be doing regular exercise?

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It's madness. I'm sure it wasn't like this when I was a child. Me and my friends would be out walking for hours. Those who think it's cruel are probably raising lazy children

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