What would you think of your mother in law wanted to invite 3 friends to your wedding, you’ve not met before

Honestly if the venue allowed the numbers id allow it

I think this is a thing. My mum wanted to invite her friends too. It caught me by surprise as I'd never noticed before but it seems to be normal in her circles.

I can't help but wonder if your niece is well enough for a wedding from what you describe. Is she getting any professional help for her anxiety?

All things being equal I think if it a big wedding I'd be open to allowing a small number of parents friends. I don't think that couples should have to invite people they don't know well over their own friends though.

I once got an invitation to the wedding of a colleague’s son. I was rather touched. Then the request for money towards the honeymoon came and the penny dropped.

Am at least pleased to see the thread isn’t full of the usual MN “how SELFISH of your neice!! A wedding is not for the bride and groom! The guests are the priority! They should be honoured mil’s friends would attend and give them the party they want!”

My parents contributed slightly less than a third to our wedding and we decided that my DH would get half the invites and me and my parents would share the other half as a lot of our guest list overlapped. There were a few guests I didn’t know - one of my cousins came over from Ireland to represent that side of the family with her DH and none of us had met them - my mother hadn’t seen her in decades. My in laws didn’t get to invite anyone (second marriage for my DH) but all their family was there anyway.
Personally I’d let her invite them.

I don’t think it’s common to invite parents’ friends nowadays, it can easily cost over £100 a head if it’s not a a DIY venue and if if the parents aren’t paying it’s unreasonable to ask the couple to pay that much for someone they’ve never met or barely know. Most weddings I’ve been to in the last few years have had ~50-70 guests and unsurprisingly parents‘ friends don’t tend to make the cut with those numbers once you add up relatives and the couple‘s friends.

This.
A mother's oldest friends probably knew her son growing up and I think it's lovely that they would want to see him wed.
I imagine the bride probably doesn't even notice half the people at her wedding. I recently went to my niece's wedding which was a lovely day, small do, about 40 people and I think I only spoke to her once.

I would say it isn’t a uncommon request but unreasonable. My MIL requested the same.

I’ve never been married but I always assumed that the engaged couple sat down and drew up a list of people to invite, agreed on numbers, planned seating etc. I hadn’t realised that other family members were able to add people. How does that work with the seating plan?

If it’s an intimate wedding and they’re not close friends of MIL then I’d decline, but if it’s a bigger wedding and the friends have effectively been ‘aunties’ to the groom through his life then it would be nice to include them.

I think this is such a nice attitude and not recognised enough.

She needs to discuss it with her fiancé really.

This seems to be a cultural norm in some circles - that the bride/groom's parents (esp mothers) will invite friends of their own and treat the day as a sort of social event. I can see a sort of logic to it, but it did seem unusual to me - DH and I chose our guest list ourselves.

If there's space, I suppose it's okay. Ultimately her DH needs to say something if they don't want the friends there. It's their day not MIL's.

My MIL invited a family friend to our wedding without checking with us first. We didn't have space (DH is from a big family), so DH told MIL to say she was mistaken and uninvite her.

We had 40 guests at our wedding (and that was maximum venue held). No way would we have been able to suck up an extra 3 randoms. And we wouldn’t have changed venue just so we could accommodate them. And didn’t have an evening do, so didn’t have option of extras coming to that. So surely depends on size of wedding whether these extras make a difference. If MIL was on her own I would give her a plus one. Are there other relatives she will know?

But she's choosing a wedding ceremony and reception with guests.

Plus all the OP says is that she's unsure.

ETA: Why do you not think it's a good place to meet 3 of her MIL's friends?

I'd say it's a good time as there'll be plenty going on so no awkward silence etc.

I did have a quite relaxed wedding with no seating plan for example.

That is only relaxed for you, not for your guests. BIL did this and DH and I couldn't get a table with space for us and our kids so we ended up split over three tables. Bloody nightmare, not relaxing at all. Whereas MIL and FIL had a seating plan at their golden wedding anniversary and so we and our children were thoughtfully placed and had a lovely time with people the kids knew.

if your nieces anxiety was that bad she would go and marry quietly just the 2 of them and wouldn’t want to be centre of attention I would let my MIL bring a few friends, I don’t think she likes hers very much

The other way to look at it is they will keep MIL entertained and give the bride breathing space?

It feels very outdated.

If the niece has social anxiety a wedding is not the place for her to meet new people.

If they're your MIL's best mates (regardless of whether anyone else has met them) and she's paying for some of the wedding, I wouldn't have a problem with that. My DPs' oldest friends came to our wedding and yes, I knew them, but my DH didn't.

This happened to us. We got the ILs insisting that ‘we went to x daughters wedding who you don’t know, so you have to reciprocate’. In the end, we agreed only close family and friends at the ceremony and they could invite whoever they wanted to the evening reception.

We were paying which helped. I do understand about the anxious relative needing a companion, although that opens the door for the other friends somewhat. I agree having a finite number of guests per parents/in-laws helps.

It wouldn’t be a problem. I’m assuming they know the groom.