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Holiday Tension Between Me and DH

(109 Posts)
Verbena37 Wed 03-Feb-16 22:32:25

So for a few years now DH has been refusing to go anywhere UKs based that isn't Center Parcs. He says he wants a holiday that will be guaranteed hot and sunny. I don't fly.....and won't be in the future. I'm plane phobic so that's a no-go.

DH says I'm selfish by not flying and limiting our family summer holidays to the Uk. We have been to France but I'm not good in the heat....really not good. I can't be in the sun and neither can DD. Anything higher than about 22 and I'm done for.

I don't see why we can't book a cottage/farmhouse/hotel in the Uk....somewhere where is lots to do. There are so many places we haven't been and lots of places we have that would be great for a holiday.

I thought Cornwall, Tenby, Cumbria, Scotland etc.....but he refuses. He says it will rain and then what will do.

As a child, we spent pretty much all of our holidays in Scotland so I'm very used to waking in the pouring rain and just get on with it. He says that's no holiday though. We are reluctant to go to France due to the increasing safety worry at the Tunnel. We were planning on going to Disney Paris in July but after last week with the gunman, we thinking not. We could go to France but don't really want to take a long ferry as DH and kids get sea sick badly.

Any ideas.....and places it's highly unlikely to rain. We live in East Anglia so somewhere not near here would be good.

Neverpolishghillies Wed 03-Feb-16 23:34:15

What about going on the Plymouth to Santander ferry, delivers you straight to Spain and you save on the usual car hire.

PutDownThatLaptop Wed 03-Feb-16 23:37:51

Cruise from the UK? Southampton?

RNBrie Wed 03-Feb-16 23:43:45

Go down to Devon, south Devon, one of the sea side towns. Dawlish, Teignmouth something like that. The weather there is usually better (though can be as unreliable as anywhere in the UK) in the summer than somewhere further north and there are a million things to do other than the beach.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Wed 03-Feb-16 23:46:38

Why not euro tunnel?

annandale Wed 03-Feb-16 23:47:59

I would be on your side in this as I enjoy UK holidays, dislike the heat and hate flying.

But for all those reasons I do feel for your dh being prevented from having what to him is a proper holiday, just as I would feel for you.

Separate holidays? It's not actually compulsory to have family trips away. You could have city weekends in the UK away and a longer holiday separately? Does he have a brother or good friends he would enjoy a week away with?

Apparently Eurostar is less affected by human rights crises than the Tunnel? We're taking the train to Rome in 2017 - large chunk of a day to Paris, overnight there, reasonably early train and all day via Milan to Rome. It would be quicker to go to the South of France - Frejus is nice.

I have also looked at Plymouth to Santander, and Plymouth or Portsmouth to La Rochelle, though the latter might be a bit northerly for guaranteed heat.

TurnOffTheTv Wed 03-Feb-16 23:48:55

Ferry to lots of places
Cruise from Southampton
Train to south of France/Spain

That gunman wasn't a terrorist by the way.

NormanTheForeman Wed 03-Feb-16 23:49:34

Ferry to France, then go to Brittany. Probably better weather than the uk, but not too hot.

HackAttack Wed 03-Feb-16 23:50:09

Well to be fair if holidays so far have been tailored to your needs can't you get some help with your phobia? To insist that all holidays from now on only suit you is selfish. Also might set your kids up for sharing that phobia!

Verbena37 Thu 04-Feb-16 08:33:12

DH and kids get really bad sea sickness so anything over an hour would not be doable.
I had read about people having door handles pulled with people trying to get in their cars when going to the tunnel. Also a long metal pole chucked at the car in which a woman was almost skewered etc.
This year, we both decided (and DH isn't usually bothered by anything vaguely dangerous) decided not to travel to France via the tunnel and Calais.

I do like the Italy on the train idea though. That could be fun. Or I might look at Calais to Le Harve crossing if they still do it.

I'm not trying to be parents always took us to Scotland because we stayed with family as that was all we could afford. We had days out at the coast or up a mountain and we were happy with that. DH won't even consider walking in the rain with a goretex on.....he says it's miserable. I see a holiday as being with your family anywhere. Just spending quality time together...not necessarily in the heat.

He is going on his motorbike with a work colleague to the south of France in September so he will be doing his thing.
I also wondered about the Isle of it likely to rain there as well?

And nope hackattack sadly, I can't get over my flying phobia (think it is more fear of dying than flying). I have flown before to Paris and Majorca but that's it and that was years ago. I said I would never fly again and I haven't. A Virgin course won't help, hypnotism won't help. I just won't get on a plane. I'm scared of heights and have vertigo....neither of which helps.

Verbena37 Thu 04-Feb-16 08:34:26

My kids are excited to fly....not phobic, which I'm pleased about. So perhaps DH can take them on his own somewhere. DD isn't great in the heat either though! What are we like!!!

Verbena37 Thu 04-Feb-16 08:35:58

Hmm Dover to le harve is 4 hrs. That's a no then.
Will look at Dover to Lille perhaps on the tunnel. That could be good. Then drive to south of France.

Verbena37 Thu 04-Feb-16 08:37:47

Looks like you can't do that in the car....only Eurostar. Might just have to face the tunnel to Calais then.

Choughed Thu 04-Feb-16 08:40:23

Seriously, I would work on getting over your phobias and your family's sea sickness. It's so limiting.

My SIL won't fly. Her son lives in America so she only sees him and his kids once every three years. It's sad.

Whatdoidohelp Thu 04-Feb-16 08:40:36

You need to work on your phobia. Your children may be excited about planes now but if they continually see you refusing to even consider going on one it will rub off on them.

You know you'd be more likely to die in a road smash going to Cornwall than on a plane to Spain or somewhere don't you ?

It's selfish to not deal with this especially as they have already shown that sea travel is out of the question. Do you expect them to never see anywhere other than the uk until they are old enough to travel alone?

What do you mean you don't cope with heat?. If your walking around outdoors in 30'c fair enough but everywhere on the continent ( that's not a shit hole) is air conditioned so the only heat you should experience is when your lying down sunbathing or in pool.

Blu Thu 04-Feb-16 08:40:55

Train to Switzerland, one of the Great Lakes? The Alps and lakes in summer?

Though to be honest I feel exhausted by the list of won't do-can't-do and fears that both of you have. Maybe have a joint think about this?

Bonywasawarriorwayayix Thu 04-Feb-16 08:44:09

Could you make the train journey part of the holiday? That opens up northern Europe for you. We took the overnight train from Paris to Munich for our honeymoon and it was brilliant. is really helpful for planning train travel.

JapanNextYear Thu 04-Feb-16 08:46:19

My sis won't fly. They take the car and go on long driving holidays in Europe. The cahances of anything bad happening at tunnel are v v small. Or train and hire car in Europe.

I'd get over the flying thing if you can, it's v limiting when there's so much to see in the world. I don't do heat either but have been all over the world. I coped.

Otoh, I love uk holidays too. Best memory was 2 weeks on west coast of Scotland where sun shone every day, incredibly lucky! And I've tramped up Lake District fells in the rain too!

Twistmyarm Thu 04-Feb-16 08:53:41

I don't know about flying phobia but motion sickness is the worst feeling ever, you can't just get over it without strong prescription medicine.

happystory Thu 04-Feb-16 08:55:25

Agree with blu there seem to be so many 'can't dos'. You can be incredibly lucky in South Wales and Cornwall but then again not. Brittany would be ideal but you've got to get there somehow!

Bunbaker Thu 04-Feb-16 09:03:21

"Well to be fair if holidays so far have been tailored to your needs can't you get some help with your phobia? To insist that all holidays from now on only suit you is selfish. Also might set your kids up for sharing that phobia!"

This ^^. It all seems to be about you and what you won't or can't even try. There is still a ferry between Dover and Calais which is the shortest crossing. You could then get a train across Europe to places with better weather that doesn't have to be too hot. Perhaps you should reconsider the time of year you go as well and go in the May half term.

Or let your husband take the children away on a Med holiday and you take them away to camp in Scotland another time.

Verbena37 Thu 04-Feb-16 09:16:54

My husband doesn't have fears or phobias (he was a hard as nails soldier for years)....we just looked together at the state of the crisis in Europe and decided that maybe we wouldn't do the tunnel to France this year or drive to places like German....which is where we used to live and love. Can you imagine how unsettling for a teen and ten yr old having dozens of people tugging at your car doors trying to get in would be...which has happened at the tunnel.

I know my fear of flying is irrational but in my OP I was really asking about good holiday destinations in the Uk....not whether I'm setting up kids for flying phobia. I looked last night at the luxury hotels company....they look good. I don't mean to be ungrateful but having had the fear since I was 19 and now being late 30's I can see it's not rational. I'm not at a place where I need to travel by plane and don't want to. Please don't judge me. I'm not asking for help with flying.

I'll perhaps just monitor the Calais thing and not worry about it too much and get DH to drive like the Stig once we get off the train grin.

Verbena37 Thu 04-Feb-16 09:20:57

And for some people, heat is very debilitating. My BIL is the same.....both he and I are very fair. Anything above low-mid 20s and I actually feel ill. Sunbathing I wouldn't do anyway and walking in the sun, in somewhere like Greece, would be awful. I'm terrible in the sun in the Uk as well. I know there are other people like isn't only me.
You know where you are with Scotland and rain wink

PolovesTubbyCustard Thu 04-Feb-16 09:21:48

You have choices.

The most useful one would be to conquer your fear of flying. How would you feel if one of your DC emigrated and you were unable to see them? If it were so dangerous then no one would take aeroplanes. Ever. Driving is far more risky.

Or you could holiday separately. Let DH and the DC fly off somewhere hot and sunny. As said above yiu mustn't let them be afraid of flying. it is very limiting.

In the interim drive to the continent. The trouble at eurotunnel is rare. The terminals are well managed. I have had no issue at all.

Holidays in the UK are great. No one is disputing that. But it isn't fair for you to hinder the travels of the rest of the family.

Blu Thu 04-Feb-16 09:25:03

OP, I unders

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