When they turn 18 and leave education

[LatentPhase]

Wasn’t sure where to post this. Looking for pointers:

dd1 is 18 and doesn’t want to go to uni. Despite having an unconditional offer. Not this year anyway. She has a job (approx 20hrs pw at the mo) waitressing. Says she doesn’t want to ‘just go for the sake of it’.

So now am in new parenting territory. I need to charge her now for her upkeep, she needs to get the hang of adult life and having expenses beyond social life.

What do people do, would you say 10% or earnings? 20%?

Any pointers gratefully received

I've not experienced this yet but my DF has had very similar with her DD. Think she's charged her £40 a week rent but her DD buys all of her own food as she was just never home for family meals.

Similar position here. DD has got her first PT job since leaving school, month ago. I have always said when they start earning they will hand in some £ towards their keep. I pay for her phone, gym pass plus all the unnoticed services a lot of teens take for granted- lifts, food, electric etc etc…….We have agreed on £15 per week. It’s an important life lesson for them. So many of her friends do not pay anything into the household but that does them no favours as they begin to enter adult life. I don’t think the % is too important, as long as they contribute.
Your doing right by her, even if she doesn’t realise it yet.

My DS takes home 1400 a month he pays 200 to me, he knows he has to pay his own bills and save so he can eventually leave home which he does

I don’t pay any of his bills (phone etc) if he wants different food he buys his own.

I don’t plan to charge, I plan to show them how to budget and would like them to get into a routine of saving but they won’t have to pay to live at home. It won’t cost me more at 18 than it did at 17 so see no need for it.

I'm the past MNrs said they'd ask for 33% as housekeeping. Some said they would put all that aside to give back to their kids later fir anything big like car purchase.I haven't had to decide this, myself. 10% seems too low, though

No charge here, house upkeep doesn't cost me any more now than it did when they were younger, and I'd rather teach them to save and budget so they can move out successfully than take money off them.

It's worked a treat with my eldest 2 who were able to save the majority of their income, moved out last year and are living happily in their own homes now. I'm doing the same with my younger teens and will do the same for my younger ones when the time comes.

I don’t plan to charge, I plan to show them how to budget and would like them to get into a routine of saving but they won’t have to pay to live at home. It won’t cost me more at 18 than it did at 17 so see no need for it.

That's an extremely lucky situation to be in. Sadly I see too many people in debt and rent arrears who just don't ask their adult children to contribute. It's such a complicated situation to navigate.

I think it is worth doing a bit of research as to what it costs in your area to live in
a) a shared house (student style)
b) as a lodger in someone's home (so fewer people and often nicer area but still sharing)
c) a studio flat

then what council tax would be
bills
food

Then, adult to adult sit down one evening and have the discussion with her, and ask her - from the starting point of what an adult would be paying out if they weren't being subsidised by another adult - what she thinks is fair.

My thinking is 20% is too little. I think if our dc want to live as adults, they need to understand what that means. Which for most of us is budgeting.

Partly though, it would depend on how good they are at saving or whether they are 'money burns a hole in my pocket' type people.
If they are saving, and putting money aside for things that are an investment in their lives - like driving lessons - I'd be inclined to be FAR more generous than if they were chucking all their wages into alcohol / clubbing / clothes / consumables week in week out.