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I have to go to a black tie event soon and I'm fat :(

(48 Posts)
hormonallyyours Tue 10-Jan-17 19:06:24

Not just 'I think I'm fat but I'm actually a sz 10' but I am genuinely fat, about a sz 20-22 at present.

I am losing weight, but not enough to make much difference before this event at the end of the month.

It's a big black tie do. I'm one of the committee so I have to be there, and will be very visible, not least because I'll be the fattest one there by a long way...

I would normally wear a full length dress. I have several, but none are big enough (one is an 18, I might just about squeeze into it by the day, but I don't want to rely on that).

Currently my fallback (as I'd rather not spend ££s on a new dress to wear it once, I have been looking for cheap long dresses but can't find anything and tbh feel quite unattractive at my current size so anything I try on I'll probably feel horrible about!) is this dress I bought at Xmas (hope the link works)


It's not a long dress, and it's very plain. It's not my usual thing at all but despite being v cheap actually looks really nice on and I feel good wearing it.

Would it 'do' do you think, worst case? Any ways to make it more suitable?

Alternatively can someone please please find me something that isn't too many £££s but would make a big heifer like me look reasonably glam on the night?

Thank you!

user1477416713 Tue 10-Jan-17 19:09:49

Have you tried eBay?
Also, great hair, makeup, nails and shoes are not size dependent smile

HappyJanuary Tue 10-Jan-17 19:12:53

I'm a similar size and had a black tie event before Christmas. In the end I booked a personal shopper at a department store - it's a free service and you're under no obligation to buy. She got me to try stuff I'd never have considered. Admittedly, I ended up buying a dress but it was worth £££ because I knew I really did look good, and that is a rare thing. If you're determined not to spend, you could do the same just for ideas, or give them a budget.

Fingermoose Tue 10-Jan-17 19:15:39

I think that dress would be fine if you dressed it up a bit - heels, nice clutch bag, jewellery, hair done etc. To be honest you could spend ££ on a new dress but the fact you say that one makes you feel good and looks really nice speaks volumes (people look good when they feel good).

Bluntness100 Tue 10-Jan-17 19:18:08

That dress is actually nice, with the right shoes and tights, a good necklace and good hair and make up, I think it will work.

requiring Tue 10-Jan-17 19:18:36

I think it's perfect! You can dress it up really nicely, put some strong lipstick on and you will look amazing smilego for it! I bet you'll look way better than you think you will. And have a confidence boosting glass of wine whilst you get ready

MonkeyPoozzled76 Tue 10-Jan-17 19:19:01

I think that dress is lovely, could you dress it up with a huge statement necklace, clutch bag and shoes? All of those things can be worn again for different occasions with different things, better investment than buying a frock that'll be too big as your loosing weight?

littlejeopardy Tue 10-Jan-17 19:20:05

I really like the dress you've picked out there. I don't think it looks cheap, just a good classic shape and style. I hope you enjoy the event!

5OBalesofHay Tue 10-Jan-17 19:20:34

That is perfect for black tie and is a nice foil to a great necklace. You'll look fabulous.

llangennith Tue 10-Jan-17 19:25:04

That dress is very smart. Dangly earrings and a nice bracelet will be enough jewellery. Maybe a long thin necklace. And nice hairsmile
I'm a size 22 and that dress wouldn't suit me as I've a fat stomach so my 'go to' outfit is a long black v neck top that has some beading under the bust and black trousers. Both M&S.
Have a lovely evening.

LtGreggs Tue 10-Jan-17 19:27:04

I am going to a black tie event in a fortnight and having a similar wobble!

The dress you linked looks great, and very dress-up-able. If it's unlined, wearing a slip underneath will instantly make it look more 'expensive'. I'd spend £ on shoes (if you don't have them), getting hair done on day and glam makeup. Then just smile and project confidence :-)

Given the timing - is it a Burns Night Ceilidh? Take dancing shoes, spare pair of tights & good underwear. That dress will swing beautifully in a ceilidh but you don't want to fall over in a short dress (experience...)

hormonallyyours Tue 10-Jan-17 19:32:01

I really couldn't do a personal shopper. I am really quite ashamed/ embarrassed of my size (a year ago I was a sz 14 blush) and having to discuss what size I am now, plus I'd be worried that things wouldn't fit and then I'd feel worse!

bingolittle Tue 10-Jan-17 19:33:10

Brilliant dress - literally cannot believe it's so cheap!

Completely suitable in my opinion.

I'm a great believer in going with what looks good on you (and that has very little correlation with how much it costs).

MadMags Tue 10-Jan-17 19:34:23

I think statement necklace/earrings will be your friend here.

Dressy shoes and a nice clutch.

Splash out on a makeup artist and hairdresser.

It's a simple dress but lovely and very glam-able!

JakeBallardswife Tue 10-Jan-17 19:35:18

I attended something mid February and bought a dress from Marisota for £ 25. Long gold stripy, very flattering.

peaceloveandbiscuits Tue 10-Jan-17 19:36:27

Agree with PP that confidence and feeling good will mean you shine wearing a bin liner. Don't buy something new that you don't feel comfortable in, because you will feel even more self-conscious on the night.

I'm a size 24, AND I'm pregnant, so a size 20-22 sounds positively svelte to me! Have a lovely time.

hormonallyyours Tue 10-Jan-17 19:36:57

Sorry thread moved on in the time I was typing that and supervising dinner!

Thank you all SO much for saying my Asda dress is nice. It actually really is smile I've never worn a short dress (it's about knee length on me) to a black tie event before, so I feel a bit uncertain - and fat. But Am feeling loads better about it now, thank you all!

HaPPy8 Tue 10-Jan-17 19:39:03

Its a lovely dress, perfect.

NewPantsforaNewYear Tue 10-Jan-17 19:49:34

As other posters have said, I think it would look great if you wear it with a statement necklace like this one,
Perhaps you could also add a bright clutch.

(Unfortunately this necklace comes from Hong Kong so no good but this sort of thing)

OdinsLoveChild Tue 10-Jan-17 19:49:51

It's a nice dress for a party but not one I would wear to a black tie event. Please bear in mind this is only my opinion.

I too am curvy a size 18-20 and I really do like the 50's dresses, especially one with good boning in the bodice. I make a point of showing off my curves and for me thats the best style for my shape. Would something more shaped suit you? Or do you like a nice loose flowing dress like the one you posted?

Maybe some good shapewear too?

hormonallyyours Tue 10-Jan-17 19:50:50

Sorry, I'm now going to be a Do I stick to black? I was probably going to wear black tights. I have a nice black clutch bag I can use.

I will definitely have good hair and makeup, that's one thing I can be sure of.

Also like the statement jewellery idea, I normally (when thinner) have a fancy dress and just a simple necklace, but for once I can have something a bit different!

Ps not a Burns night party sadly (went to one many years ago and it was great) this is work related - so probably no dancing for me, will be running round checking everything is going to plan!

MadMags Tue 10-Jan-17 19:52:25

I would stick to black shoes if you're wearing black tights and a black clutch.

It will definitely be all about the necklace!

rhuhbarb4 Tue 10-Jan-17 19:54:03

Could you buy a cheap plain maxi dress cheap off amazon and then customise with other cheap things off amazon such as netting for the arms diamantes to add detailing and sequins. Also buy a cheap faux fur wrap or bolero. Think nice hair, bold make up and nice shoes dress up any outfit.

hormonallyyours Tue 10-Jan-17 19:58:48

Oh I love that necklace! Will see if i can find something similar in a high st shop.

I normally would go for something more fitted (I have a couple of Lady V dresses from when I was a sz 14) but at my present size I just feel too fat - I don't have much of a waist at the moment so I am probably happier and less self conscious in something loose.

5OBalesofHay Tue 10-Jan-17 20:03:02

Short is perfect for black tie you only need long for white tie. If you feel good in it then it's right for you. You could have colourful shoes to match a necklace if you want to push the boat out

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