Hi all, I’m new here.
I’ve been with my partner for 6 years and have known DSD (7) for almost 6. I got pregnant less than a year into the relationship with DD (4).
OH is a lovely man and a good dad but he is so bloody lazy when it comes to actually doing things for the kids, credit given where credits due, he drives the 140 mile round trip twice a weekend every weekend in order to see DSD but that’s about it.
Out of a 17 day holiday we’ve had DSD 24 days of it which I don’t mind as long as I know what’s happening, when she’s coming and when she’s going back. Her BM doesn’t take a great deal of interest in DSD, she tends to palm her off as often as she can during the holidays. Anyway, I do at least 90% of the childcare because I’m ‘doing it anyway for DD.’ I do the cooking, the cleaning up after them, all of their washing, drying, morning routines, nighttime routines, days out etc etc. I do the lion’s share of pretty much everything.
Don’t get me wrong OH works very hard, sometimes life can be unpredictable because of his work and we don’t ever really get a break away (DSD is 7 and she’s never been on a family holiday, nor has DD)
Sometimes the monotony gets me down a bit and I feel as though a lot of what I do is unappreciated an unnoticed. I understand that I’ve probably made a rod for my own back by not putting my foot down but it’s a difficult position to be in. I would never want OH to turn DSD away because I’m putting my foot down, it’s so easy to be cast as the wicked step mother for the smallest reason while the rest of the good you’ve done is forgotten.
What does everyone else do? Are there any others who feel the way I do sometimes? I was very young when I first met DSD (18) and have grown and matured a lot since then and found ways of coping with things differently.
I have my own negative experience of step parents (step mother from hell!) and I’ve learnt a lot from the way she was, I think OH knows this as well and uses it to his advantage and as a result of my experience I over compensate.
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Step-parenting
How much does everyone else do for their step children?
84 replies
Placeboooooooo · 08/01/2018 13:48
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