Apparently h's 29yr old ow is more fun and happier than me! No Shit!!

[WhirlingStirling]

I am not really looking for a response. I know I will just feel better ranting for a few minutes.

We were trying (again) to see if we could make things work after his affair. He had promised (again) not to contact her but told me last night, when questioned, that he had taken her for lunch just 2 weeks ago when he was in her country. He hadn't offered this info - yet again I had to question him. So, she is more fun than me and they can go out whenever they want (guess what?? She has no dc!)

He doesn't really want to be married to me anymore but he still wants things to carry on as normal in the house, for the dc's sake. So he thinks I will still be cooking and cleaning for him

Well (as Custy so eloquently put in an earlier thread) Fuck Him and the Horse he Rode in on!!

You know - I am feeling slightly better already! Thank You

[WhirlingStirling]

p.s. used to be stirlingmum

[lillypie]

What Custy said

[blinks]

i remember your story (am namechanger also)... you already know the answer methinks.

i'm all for an immature revenge fling.

[Imnotok]

He will learn when he is a very lonely sad old fucker man .

[Servalan]

Anyone can be "exciting" when we don't experience real life with them and can impose our fantasies on them.

Sounds like he needs to fucking grow up

Glad the rant is helping.

[theinsider]

Tosser. Doesn't he realise it's his actions which have made woman A (ie you) miserable and no fun (not that I'm saying you are!) and that his rotten personality will have the same effect on woman B sooner or later?

Hope you sort things to your satisfaction. Sounds like you've still got spirit, well done, mke sure you keep it.

[SmugColditz]

I hope he gets leprosy of the bell end

[WhirlingStirling]

Thanks all - just keep feeling really low but at the moment I can feel the strength returning

You know blinks I am all for an immature revenge fling - I really need it to be honest - just dont know where to look for right bod!!

[WhirlingStirling]

Thanks smugcolditz - you have made me laugh for once today

[expatinscotland]

DTMFA

dump the mother fucker already.

[ambercat]

God, these men really are on another planet!

My h said his 24 yr old ow made him realise what a relationship should be like!!!!

Unfortunately for him she didn't realise what a great relationship they had and dumped him a couple of months ago!!

I think my h thinks things will carry on as normal at home aswell, he wants to have his nice family time and be cooked for and cleaned up after and then go out and fuck around with no guilt cos we're not together anymore.

Stirling, rant away, the more i think about things the angrier i get so its good to have an outlet, prevents a murder!!

[noonki]

poor you

my friend had a similiar scenario about 2 years ago, after she found out about the affair he wanted to stay around

after about 4 months of him staying in the house and being an utter wanker she finally flung him out,

she has now moved towns (To where she always wanted to be), has a better job, better (but smaller) house, a lovely new man, and best of all no him. Her confidence has soared, he was always criticising her and dragging her down, he hardly did any housework or childcare so no change there and all in all she is a MUCH happier bunny.

I was with her nearly everyday whilst they were living in limbo, so you have my ever sympathy, I had a glimse of the pain you must be in, poor you

I hope it all gets better soon (())) x

[Cryptoprocta]

OK, this is rather crude, but Chris Rock makes a good point...

"What's important to you? That is the question.

Commitment will give you a headache every now and then.
New pussy always clears your mind.

But you've got to think about life in the long term. People tell you that life is short. No it's not. Life is long. Especially if you've made the wrong decisions.

And in the long term, if you're sick, is new pussy going to take care of you? No.

If you're hungry, is new pussy going to feed you? New pussy can't cook! New pussy can't even read!

If you've got a baby, is new pussy going to teach him how to read? New pussy's illiterate!"

[WhirlingStirling]

Thanks all - Yes Noonki, the living in limbo is hell - it is so hard to describe to someone - you just want a clearer view of your future but that is so hard when you are with someone who doesn't know what they want.

Hoochie - it is important to try to stay together for the dc but I have never believed in staying with somoeone just for the dc - I grew up with my Mum in a shit marriage and it was awful, she really should have walked away when we were little but she thought she was doing the right thing.

I just feel, very sadly, that I have now recreated that past, and my dc will also have an upset childhood. No matter what anyone says, I feel a failure for that.

[WhirlingStirling]

rofl Crypto - I shall have to ask him what his new pussy can do. Second thoughts - I dont give a shit!

[Servalan]

Hang on a second here - you are NOT a failure. You are fab. I think it's one of those things that come with parenthood - we feel guilty whatever we do!

This is down to your h's immature, self-indulgent behaviour. HE has put you in this situation. You are doing the best you can.

So there.

[WhirlingStirling]

I know servalan but it is still hard to deal with - I honestly thought that I would do things better/differently but then it creeps up on you and then Bam you are your mother. Frightening!

[WhirlingStirling]

I should also admit that me and h's credit card went shopping the other day and we got a couple of lovely jumpers and I have booked a hair appointment at an expensive salon next week.

[ggglimpopo]

As they say:

"Love over cocktails is so sweet,
but twill it be the same o'er shredded wheat"?

[expatinscotland]

oh, whirling, me and several ex bf's credit cards did that.

and i had a pal who's ex bf's stuff also got flogged on the equivalent of AdTrader the same day she caught a flight for another country for good .