Hello,
I’m going through a difficult time at the moment and looking for a bit of advice on what to do.
Long story short: I never wanted a baby when we were first married, now I’m yarning for a child, but he says he will never want one. Do I leave him eventhough I love him?
Long story: when I first met my husband we both felt the same about having children. It was something neither of us ever wanted and it was great because it took the pressure off both of us. However, within the last year in particular, I’ve really wanted to become a mum. I have lots of young nieces and nephews and I’ve always loved being the aunt, but now I want a baby for myself. I’ve always been very mothering and caring and I feel as if being a mum is something I’m supposed to do.
My husband and I have spoken about this numerous of times. I have expressed my feelings to him and he has shut me down each and every time. Saying he feels he will never want a baby, and fully knows that he might loose me because of it. He says he loves me and we have a great relationship but it kind of makes me feel sh*t that he won’t sacrifice this for me, for me to do what I was born to do. He has told me in the past that he wouldn’t have a baby “just to keep me in his life” and it was absolutely heartbreaking.
I love him and I don’t want to loose him, but I’m scared I will resent him forever as I already do.
I’m reaching 30 so Im scared that if he ever does change his mind it’ll be too late.
I guess I’m looking for women in the same position or have gone through this and can offer me some advice. At the moment I’m just “sticking it out” and staying and trying to suppress these feelings as best I can. I can’t blame him for this because he married me knowing I didn’t want children, but at the same time I feel if he really loved me then he would accept the fact that we can change our minds. He would be an amazing dad but he just doesn’t see it.
Sorry for the words, I’m just trying to get everything out.
Thank you.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Help! My husband doesn’t want children but I do
Dottie22 · 26/04/2021 09:02
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