Morning everyone just wondered what you thought about the latest argument...
Me trying to raise something pretty small in the grand scheme that bothers me, as calmly and nicely as I can, him getting increasingly angry about it before storming off, locking himself in bathroom slamming door and swearing loudly.
Me leaving then texting later not trying to have a go but explaining that I really want to be able to talk to him, communicate, resolve things without him getting angry. I said I can't take responsibility for his anger or reaction to things. I said I loved him at the end. Admittedly it was probably an overwhelmingly long message and I know I am bad for that and it can sometimes be too much.
Then him replying angrily about how he has a right to be angry, saying I was being angry when I tried to have this discussion and oh but he isn't allowed to be. I don't believe I was being angry at all. I tried to bring something up that bothered me as carefully as I could because I know how he reacts sometimes. He storms off swearing. Now saying I was being angry and the argument became about...having a right to be angry and who was angry?! Rather than what I initially bought up.
He also said I am always mentioning what bothers me or what he shouldn't do. Well maybe I do it a bit but he also forgets the positive stuff, when I thank him for things, etc. Also I feel if I don't tell him things that bother me that it isn't healthy, and I might get resentful. I'm desperate to have an adult relationship where things can be communicated and resolved. I know I too can sometimes react badly to things being bought up but I have recognised that and I am trying to work on it, but he rarely does bring things up anyway.
Ultimately ended up in full blown argument first there and then in the messages, and me spending the evening alone really upset and him ignoring when I tried to phone. Often after arguments I am left very upset and he doesn't bother to check in on me at all. And me apologising for everything and apologising again this morning and he is just ignoring basically.
I did call him a name at the end of the arguing via text, I know it is bad and I have apologised. But it is a name he always refers to himself as and it is not a hugely awful one. I was so upset and overwhelmed and I find it difficult to calm down when I am really upset (teary etc) especially as I am always just left alone to deal with it by myself after an argument. I got no sleep at all and ended up getting s bit drunk alone as well which I shan't be doing again (I rarely drink anyway) as I just felt so upset and frankly out of my mind a bit.
What is this behaviour? Am I in the wrong yet again?
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Relationships
What is this behaviour? Me in the wrong again??
Clementinewine · 28/09/2020 09:15
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