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When is it ok to not want sex

(86 Posts)
yourpin Tue 19-Jun-18 16:47:52

I have 3 children 9, 7 & 1. My DH and I have had sex twice this week so far. (Well at the weekend) He's now text me saying he would fancy me in lingerie for sex tonight. He text me at sports day. I was running around after my toddler whilst trying to watch my 7 year olds races. I was irritated by his texts as feel like he's a bit full on and he has a tendency to sulk if I'm not up for it.
It's now resulted in some responses from him saying he feels demoralised/I'm boring. We've been together a long time and this has been a recurring problem. I feel that he's only content if I'm shagging him at every request in any manner he should choose. Also the texts - fair enough if I'm reciprocal but when I'm not 'I'm draining the life out of him'.
I actually feel demoralised but his response to this - how is being lusted after by your husband demoralising.
Ugh it's starting to get to me.

itsallgravybaby Tue 19-Jun-18 16:50:32

It's ok to not want sex whenever you do not want sex.

He sounds like an arse.

Elsi3 Tue 19-Jun-18 16:57:38

He sounds like a prize prick!

I wouldn't want to have sex with this man at any time if he made me feel like a glorified sex toy.

What a complete turn off!

0range99 Tue 19-Jun-18 16:59:29

Agree with them ^

Sex should be mutually desired and mutually pleasurable, not something that one person pesters for and the other does out of duty / to shut them up

couchparsnip Tue 19-Jun-18 17:00:35

Its always ok to not want sex. Pressuring you is wrong. Is insulting you going to make you want to shag him? If he thinks so then he's abusive.

sexnotgender Tue 19-Jun-18 17:02:15

It’s always ok to not want sex. Your husband sounds like a cunt.

ShovingLeopard Tue 19-Jun-18 17:03:36

Tell him he's draining you, with his perpetual Jack-Russell-with-a-boner act. It's demoralising to you to be treated as though you only have any worth to him if you allow him to treat you as a sex toy.

pallisers Tue 19-Jun-18 17:05:59

god that would be such a turn off for me.

He's now text me saying he would fancy me in lingerie for sex tonight.

what does he think you are - an online menu for sex?

Text him back saying "texts like that are an utter turn-off. You are draining the life out of me. Oh and yes, your children are enjoying sports day since you asked"

NeverLovedElvis Tue 19-Jun-18 17:07:38

Sex is not obligatory. It is always ok to not want any.

Lollypop701 Tue 19-Jun-18 17:09:19

What is he not interested in sometimes? Making dinner... start texting him telling him he has to do this(when you know he knackered) then tell him how his not wanting to make your dinner makes you feel insecure and undesirable... repeat until he gets the picture .

fairgame84 Tue 19-Jun-18 17:10:06

Ugh sounds like my ex.
Nothing more unattractive than a sex pest.

GreenMeerkat Tue 19-Jun-18 17:11:58

Bloody hell. My DH would be bouncing off the walls if he got sex twice in one week! I don't think he'd dare pester for a third grinwinkblush

Fairylea Tue 19-Jun-18 17:12:59

Young children to look after, sex twice already this week and he wants you dressing up for more sex? shock I really couldn’t be bothered with that! It makes me feel tired just reading your post!

mimibunz Tue 19-Jun-18 17:13:16

He would have dumped me a long time ago!

PatriciaHolm Tue 19-Jun-18 17:14:47

It's always fine not to want sex. You are not his property, he should respect your wants and needs just as much as his. Sulking if he doesn't get what he wants is repulsive and suggests he doesn't give a damn what you actually want or feel.

Shoxfordian Tue 19-Jun-18 17:24:04

It's always ok not to want sex and who would want sex with such an unattractive sulking entitled idiot? Nobody would.

Whattheactualfuckmate Tue 19-Jun-18 17:27:05

Emotionally blackmailing you innto having sex. Nice

Vitalogy Tue 19-Jun-18 17:32:02

You don't have to put up with this OP. Get away from him ASAP.

TheSausageEmperor Tue 19-Jun-18 17:34:34

He sounds fucking dreadful.

Tunnocks34 Tue 19-Jun-18 17:35:22

What an absolute bellend.

It’s fine not to have sex. I hate sex messages, I find them creepy.

LastOneDancing Tue 19-Jun-18 17:44:15

Your body is a dictatorship under your control, not a democracy where he gets a say.

It's always ok to say no. Always.

yourpin Tue 19-Jun-18 18:09:12

I think my husbands dream woman is a cross between Samantha from sex in the city and Sharon stone in basic instinct.
Quite ironic given one character is based on a gay man and the other is a murderous psychopath.

yourpin Tue 19-Jun-18 18:14:31

What annoys me most is he thinks that you can be the loving maternal figure and sex crazy nympho. And that I should be strutting around like Sofia Vergara while he looks like shaggy off scooby doo. The high maintenance appearance paired with the cool wife personality........🦄

yetmorecrap Tue 19-Jun-18 18:17:40

Sounds like he wants an on tap and free hooker!! Tell him acting like a Jack Russell on heat is not remotely appealing

SuperSuperSuper Tue 19-Jun-18 18:17:45

My exH was a nuisance - I couldn't get into bed without him climbing on me.

If I met someone I find sexually attractive, however, I wouldn't be averse to the odd text like that. It would be a turn-on. Lots of couples sext. But I think that there are fundamental problems with your relationship which are the real issue here i.e. he's a pest. So, the text was irritating rather than exciting.

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