Innapropriate comment OH said to my 5 yr old

[Lovebeingamummy77]

I would be so grateful for others views. My other half was at mine last night and i had no matches to light fire. He knocked on a few doors and came back with matches.. he said got them a few doors up from a lady. My son randomly said "she was pretty"... hes 5!! Im sure my OH said this to my son to repeat to me as a "joke"/ to wind me up jokingly? / being silly etc... immature i know.

Am i petty being irritated by this. I know it doesnt matter what others think or feel..its how i feel. But im interested to know how others would react?

[GaryBarlowsTaxReturn]

Why would you think that your DH had asked him to say that? Doesn't seem to make sense. For what it's worth my 2.5 year old calls things pretty so perhaps don't read too much into it.

[AnonEvent]

On its own it sounds quite innocuous, lots of five-year-olds I know would comment if someone was pretty (or indeed not). Ideally out of hearing-range.

What leads you to believe your partner fed your son the line? Does your partner have form for saying/doing inappropriate things?

[Gimmeareason]

How can you be sure?!

Sounds mental

[Desmondo2016]

In my book you are seriously over reacting.. is there a reason you're so over sensitive?

[NoCryLilSoftSoft]

Did you ask your partner?

[Lovebeingamummy77]

My son said my partner told him to say that (sorry not clear in msg). My partner saud no i didnt.. then my son said "i made it up mummy... it wasnt insert partners name i said it.. i was in lounge..them in hall.. all this was said from a diff room! Im pretty sure my oh did say it 4 my son to repeat

[LittleBooInABox]

My son says pretty and handsome. It's compliments. Why are you so worried about it?
He could of said far worse?

[2014newme]

Your 5 year old son said the neighbour was pretty and it's upset you is that right?

[2014newme]

And why is your boyfriend knocking on doors to get matches, that's not great tbh.

[Lovebeingamummy77]

Sorry its not clear.. my partner said "shes pretty" knowing my son would repeat it. The point is also that my partner said this to sort of wind me up jokingly

[AnonEvent]

Is your partner respectful, do you love him (presuming male), is he kind, and do you trust him with your heart and with your son?

If the answer is "yes" then - put it to the back of your mind.

If he's troublesome in other ways, then you have an issue.

If he asked your son to lie on his behalf (hence the change of story), then, again, you have an issue.

[Lovebeingamummy77]

Yes anon.. he then whispered to my son "tell mummy you made a miatake" .. it was supposed to be light hearted jokey but i didnt find any of it particularly funny

[2014newme]

So you are saying he's trying to wind you up. If he regularly doess this, he's not very nice dump him.
If it's a one off I'd say 'yes Mrs miggings at number 45 is pretty I agree"

[DearMrDilkington]

I'm really struggling to understand why your worried about this. Your not sure your partner even said it..

[AnonEvent]

Although the statement itself was a non-event, I dislike people asking children to lie - but hey ho, maybe he has less experience with kids.

You seem very stuck on the idea that it was a joke. Do you worry that your partner said it on an off-hand way, and then was embarrassed when your son mentioned it?

For me: the child making the comment was not inappropriate, but I wonder if you have deeper worries about the relationship.

[DearMrDilkington]

Wait, he has said he called your neighbour pretty now?

It all sounds pretty childish.

[RavenclawRealist]

I still don’t understand any of it!

But for what it’s worth I don’t think pretty is inappropriate. I can’t work out what actually happened to say on the rest

[pinkyredrose]

You keep contradicting yourself.

Unless there's a backstory I'm struggling to see the problem other than you have an immature partner.

[Lovebeingamummy77]

No i dont think he said it walking back then embarassed my son repeated it. It was more like he said it to my son in the hall.. hard to explain but my son said it as if he was repeating what had just been said. I also think the door they knocked on was an elderly lady!.. i think my partner was just trying to be silly/funny/wimd me up to be honest. .. (ages ago we had an issue of me getting irriated with him commenting on women in films). I dont know. I just think he was trying to be silly

[DearMrDilkington]

I think your looking for a problem when there isn't one tbh.

Elderly ladies can be pretty, not sure why that's relevant.

[NoCryLilSoftSoft]

Right so your partner told your child to tell you the neighbour is pretty to wind you up. I'm guessing you're either very insecure or jealous and he knew this would get to you which Is an unpleasant streak I wouldn't be interested in entertaining. If you are insecure and/or jealous do some work on it, it's not attractive or easy to be with someone like that.

[diddl]

So your partner commented on a neighbour being pretty knowing that your son would repeat it & that it would wind you up?

So is the issue that your partner deliberately winds you up?

[Lovebeingamummy77]

Lol sorry everyones confused!!!! They came home. I said "oh great u got matches... which house?.".. partner says "lady at 56" .. silence... whispering.... son then shouts "she was pretty"....ie.partner whispered that to my son to repeat... make sense now? Lol sorry again

[DearMrDilkington]

Has your partner admitted he told your son to say the neighbour was pretty?

If so, then yes, that is weird.

But by the sounds of it, your 5yo said a neighbour was pretty and you immediately think your oh told him to say it.

[InsomniacAnonymous]

Well, if you think he's just trying to wind you up, why on earth are you taking it so seriously? He's being silly and childish, you don't have to be the same!