Sigh. DH and I have just had this conversation for the 1875237th time and it got us nowhere. Again. I think maybe the problem is me.
DH is a great dad - he is patient and really caring and super responsive. He is also kind and supportive and totally supports my career. And I love him.
But!!! He takes no responsibilty for household maintenance. He will do laundry and dishes. But painting the fence, washing the cars, diy, gardening, household emergencies - just nope, not unless directly and specifically asked, and then with a bad grace.
Today I got home at 7pm from a family funeral 350 miles away. To find some type of beetle infestation in the house. DH shrugged 'there are always insects around at this time of year'. Not dozens of them crawling around one room!!!
I had planned on relaxing but obviously scrapped that, started trying to tackle the bugs. DH making himself a snack. I look out the window and see waist high grass and peeling paint on the fence. Because I don't have time to fucking do it all, I work ft, I spend evenings and weekends when dd naps doing all the big jobs I can, but this is an old damp house and I cannot do it all.
I sort of got cross and said as much to dh. Who said, well why hadn't I asked him to cut the grass? Oh I don't know, maybe because I'm not his line manager and I thought he might actually take some actual initiative?????
I feel controlling and bossy. I hate arguments. But I also hate living in a pigstye and I cannot do it all, I just can't.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I think I'm an arse but I don't know how to stop
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 19/06/2017 23:33
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