Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

1 2 3 4

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

New partner and bondage

99 replies

sorryoldwoman · 15/12/2016 18:12

Have a new relationship with great chemistry. Partner is much more experienced and is into bondage. I totally trust him already I don't have any doubts he would only do what I wanted but I really don't think it would do a thing for me. I'd do it to try and please him but we are both over 60 and I'm not in great physical shape I get aches and pains easily! He emailed me links to learn about the safe rules. Also sent me a pic of a leather wrist band with a lock on it or was it to go around my neck??? I'm beginning to think I should let him find someone younger and into such so I don't disappoint him. He could drop dead and I'm under lock and key!

OP posts:

Report

Allalonenow · 15/12/2016 18:15

Don't have anything padlocked around your neck, you hardly know the guy.

sorryoldwoman · 15/12/2016 18:45

Must be for the wrist now I look at it again.

New partner and bondage

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 15/12/2016 18:47

If it "won't do a thing for you" then don't do it

sorryoldwoman · 15/12/2016 18:47

Maybe I just need advice what to say to end this. Never dumped someone before.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 15/12/2016 18:48

You say "I am ending this"

Then you don't see him again

PoldarksBreeches · 15/12/2016 18:49

Don't be daft. Bondage (which is a 'nice' way of saying that he enjoys hurting and humiliating women) is going to be completely horrible and humiliating to you unless you really want to do it. Never debase yourself for a man's sexual gratification.

sorryoldwoman · 15/12/2016 18:50

How do you know you won't enjoy something if you've never done it? Isn't being open to try things at least once being a good lover? As long as it doesn't hurt of course.

OP posts:

BastardBernie · 15/12/2016 18:51

It's going to hurt. Sorry

AnyFucker · 15/12/2016 18:52

Do you want to end it with him or don't you ?

sorryoldwoman · 15/12/2016 18:52

Ok thanks to you both I tend to over think things. I'm ending this is what I'm saying.

OP posts:

Kel1234 · 15/12/2016 18:53

Only do it if it's something you are 100% comfortable with doing.

AnyFucker · 15/12/2016 18:54

I'm lost.

PoldarksBreeches · 15/12/2016 18:54

What do you think he plans to do after he's tied you up?

MrsHathaway · 15/12/2016 18:54

I can tell you without hesitation that I wouldn't enjoy sex games including defecation. I don't need to try it even once with a loving partner to be absolutely sure.

You don't have to dump him if he's otherwise nice. Just say very plainly that that kind of play is absolutely not your thing and you have no interest in trying.

Have you had other sex with him? I can't tell. If so, you have an established repertoire to fall back on. If not, it's up to him to say whether he'd be interested in more vanilla activities with you.

If he can't get horny without bondage, and bondage isn't your thing, then you are not sexually compatible and can move on with no hard feelings.

TDHManchester · 15/12/2016 19:13

Each to their own but it has never been my cup of tea.

KatieScarlett · 15/12/2016 19:16

Isn't there a sex topic for sex people?
Or has it gone?

AnyFucker · 15/12/2016 19:18

There is still a sex topic for sex people. I think you have to have been a member for 3 months though.

member !!!!

Arf. < gets coat >

Spottytop1 · 15/12/2016 19:19

Bondage involves many different aspects - some do hurt, some do not and are more restraint. The key thing is communication and trust. You need to know him well and have face to face discussions about it all including what you are willing to do/not do etc.

Speak to him and go from there, but do not do anything you are uncomfortable with.

KatieScarlett · 15/12/2016 19:25

AF that was terrible.
(OK, so I snickered like Benny Hill)

Chops2016 · 15/12/2016 19:26

Whoa, since when did bondage mean 'sex games including defecation' and pain (I thought that was s&m?) Isnt bondage just restraint/tying up?

I'll echo previous posters saying if it isn't something you're into then don't do it. If he's a loving partner he wouldn't want you to endure something you find unpleasant just to please him.

AnyFucker · 15/12/2016 19:27

I am a "sex person" don'tcha know

KatieScarlett · 15/12/2016 19:32

Nonononono
That's like finding out your GP is a swinger. At a cheese and wine party.
No sticks fingers in ears while rocking

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

AnyFucker · 15/12/2016 19:42

Haha

Summerlovinf · 15/12/2016 19:46

No defecation games on a first date - not that kinda girl

MrsHathaway · 15/12/2016 20:00

Sorry - I was using a completely unrelated example of a sex thing you could be sure you didn't like without trying it.

💩

Flip

1 2 3 4

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.